The listings below will include the name of the beer, my numerical ranking based upon my own scale of 0.1 to 10.0, and a little of my personal thoughts about each beer. Here and there I’ll also throw in a few funny or interesting quotes about beer from famous folks. And if you’re curious about my ranking systems, let’s just say that a 5.0 is a decent beer, a 1.0 is an awful beer and a 10.0 is a fantastic beer.

S Beers

St. Ambroise Oatmeal Stout

8.4

Quite possibly the best beer from Canada I have ever had (but usually I think of Canadian beers as American imitations). This is an extremely tasty stout with a heavy burnt syrup flavor. Easily one of the best stouts around. McAuslan Brewing Inc. of Montreal is the maker of this fantastic beverage.

St. Georgen Brau Keller Bier

9.4

Made by the St. Georgen-Brau of Buttenheim, Germany. Smooth with an extremely fruity tart lightness that makes this brew remarkable, though not quite unique. Somewhat similar to a lambic or perhaps a lighter hefeweizen. A little costly, but not as much as many a good brand, and worth the price.

St. Ides Premium Malt Liquor

1.9

Yes, malt liquor is a form of beer (though I hesitate to say that as true as it is). This noxious stuff goes down smooth but it smells like gasoline and has a haunting aftertaste mix of sour, bitter and sweet. Don’t drink this. Instead, use it to start your gas grill.

St. Louis Premium Framboise

9.1

This is a Belgian lambic ale brewed with raspberries. I think I like this drink just a tad more than the kriek (cherry) version because of that extra, tarty raspberry zing. Goes great with spicy beer cheese and chips, making it a fantastic drink for a small meal or party snack. Also good by itself, but this is truly a brew for special occasions.

St. Louis Premium Kriek

9.0

Brewed and bottled by Br. Van Honsebrouck of Ingelmunster, Belgium. This is a kriek lambic, a type of Belgian beer made with cherries. You would never be able to guess this is beer just from the taste; it tastes more like a fruity seltzer water than a beer. This is a must-try beer for you true beer snobs. People who drink Grolsch and think it’s something special don’t have a clue, at least until they’ve tried something like a real lambic. This stuff is expensive, but it’s worth trying every once in a while. Wine drinkers would probably enjoy this even if they don’t like beer. Sorry, but this beer has nothing to do with the U.S. city of St. Louis

Saint Pauli Girl

4.1

Wet but with a little too much fizz. A German beer made for Americans. A decent thirst quencher. For beer snob wannabes. The taste is very American.

Saint Pauli Girl Dark

5.6

Pretty drinkable but not one of the strongest dark beers. This German brew has too much carbonation.

Saku

5.4

A step or two above your cheap lagers, this Estonian pilsner tastes more like a weak lager, though not necessarily a bad one. Very drinkable (to the point you may have too much without realizing it).

Salado Creek Honey Bock

4.8

This beer goes down very smooth and very wet, but it’s so gosh-darned sweet. It would score higher if it weren’t so sweet. This beer comes from Salado Creek Brewing Co. in San Antonio,Texas.

Sam Adams Light

4.2

One of the stronger light beers on the market. If you need to drink light, drink this. I don’t know if this stuff is the same formula as the old “Samuel Adams Boston Lightship” brew, but it goes back with a little more kick. Beer snobs on a diet can enjoy this. It’s good enough for drinking semi-regularly.

Samuel Adams Boston Ale

7.3

While this beer isn’t as thick as the Samuel Adams Boston Lager, the taste is richer. This is a good drinking beer, but it would also go good with a heavy meal – roast beef, baked potato and sourdough bread come to mind.

Samuel Adams Boston Lager

7.4

This was the beer that started it all for the Boston Beer Company. A good, strong, bitter beer that has just the right mix of wet and fizz. Supposedly beers from this company are handcrafted in individual batches – it sure tastes like it! This is a good beer to have with a heavy dinner.

Samuel Adams Boston Lightship

3.9

Has a strong bitterness for a light beer, but still contains all the carbonation of one. If you’ve got to drink a light beer, this is probably the one to get. Otherwise, the Samuel Adams folk make better stuff. Update for February 1, 2002: I believe this beer has been discontinued for the new Sam Adams Light (or at least it’s been renamed).

Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat

7.0

This beer has a good cherry smell and taste that isn’t overpowering at all. If you’re a person who doesn’t like sweet beers, like me, you will still like this beer. Goes down really smooth. Has a nice, frothy foam that’s not fizzy at all.

Samuel Adams Cranberry Lambic

6.4

The old definition of a Lambic was a Belgian beer that has natural, instant fermentation. The modern definition seems to be a wheat beer with fruit added (usually one type of berry or another). This beer meets the more recent meaning of the word Lambic. Like many Samuel Adams brews, this one has a solid, wet texture. The sweet of the cranberry isn’t overly strong, even for someone who doesn’t like sweet beers. This beer would be good as a desert, especially after holiday dinners with the family.

Samuel Adams Cream Stout

8.2

A smooth coffee/maple flavor. Not as hardy as many a stout, but still stout enough. One of my favorite Samuel Adams beers.

Samuel AdamsGolden Pilsner

6.2

This is the most American-tasting of all the Samuel Adams flavors. For a pilsner, this is awful robust, but not enough to ruin the drink. There’s a little too much fizz for my taste. This is a good beer for just sitting around and drinking, say while watching a football game. For those of you with an interest, Pilsners are a light, golden beer first introduced in Germany in the 19th century during a time of mostly dark beers.

Samuel Adams Honey Porter

6.3

This is an extremely bitter but wet brew. It would go well with a roast beef and Swiss sandwich, preferably on toasted rye. Also, if you haven’t checked out any of the Samuel Adams Web sites, then get to it – the pages are worth reading.

Samuel AdamsOctoberfest

5.8

A strong, sturdy ale that is a tad bit strong to swallow. A good amber color and strong caramel taste. There is also a bit of a burnt smell.

Samuel AdamsOld Fezziwig Ale

4.4

Yeah, it’s a Christmas beer with cinnamon, ginger and orange flavoring. As with all Christmas beers, this one is too sweet.

Samuel Adams Scotch Ale

6.4

Extremely strong and bitter maple flavor at first that smooths out on the way down. No sweetness at first but it slowly grows. Makes a good cold weather brew.

Samuel Adams Spring Ale

6.8

Wet with a slightly fruity bitterness. Not overly heavy, so it should make a good drinking brew. A good cooling down beer.

Samuel Adams Summer Ale

6.3

Goes down pretty smooth despite the fact it has a touch more fizz than I feel necessary. This is a white ale with lemon added; the lemon can definitely be tasted though it’s not overpowering. A good brew for just drinking, especially during a hot day in summer, but nothing extremely complicated. New beer snobs could use this beer to build their taste buds.

Samuel Adams Triple Bock

7.4

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. My reaction to this beer is unexplainable. In some ways I love this beer and in other ways I find it quite horrible. It smells like soy sauce, but there’s very little of that in the taste. There is an extremely strong and overpowering burnt maple taste to this beer. This is not a beer for swilling; it’s a beer for sipping, and very small sips at that. Only truly experienced beer tasters should even THINK of trying this beer, if you can even find it in your area. This brew tends to be difficult to find in some states (like Ohio, for instance) because of its high alcohol content. If you can drink this stuff without it sending shivers up your spine, then you’re a better man than I am (even if you are a woman!).

Samuel Adams White Ale

6.9

This slightly sweet beer goes good with fried chicken. It’s not a very powerful beer, but the taste is smooth and worth drinking.

Samuel Adams Winter Lager

6.6

The brew here has a strong, robust flavor. This beer starts off sweet at first taste, but turns bitter on the way down. A very hardy brew. There almost seems to be a touch of cinnamon in this beer.

Samuel Smith’s Imperial Stout

9.4

Has a nice, foamy head as all good stouts should. Not for beer snob beginners as this has a very strong maple sweet/bitterness. One of the heaviest beers out there, so don’t drink a lot of them. Nice burnt smell and syrup coloring. One of the best sipping beers there is. Samuel Smith’s has been doing fine work since 1758.

Samuel Smith’s India Ale

8.6

One of the best India Pale Ales around, but it doesn’t have the sharpness of many IPAs. Fairly smooth, not too strong.

Samuel Smith’s Nut Brown Ale

7.9

A fairly plain beer for Samuel Smith’s. A little bitter and goes down pretty smooth despite a little carbonation. Not overly sweet or nutty flavored as are some nut brown ales. A piece of trivia here: all Samuel Smith’s beers are fermented in stone.

Samuel Smith Oatmeal Stout

9.8

This is the smoothest stout I’ve ever had. There’s almost a touch of sweetness on the way down. This brew is not as heavy as most stouts, but it isn’t watery either.

Samuel Smith Old Brewery Pale Ale

10.0

From Samuel Smith Old Brewery, Tadcaster, N. Yorks, England. The best beer on the planet, in my opinion. You’ve died and gone to heaven if you are drinking this stuff. Not the smoothest beer, but still pretty smooth. Without a doubt, the best-tasting pale ale ever, but not as strong as many pale ales. The flavor and texture make this beer so great. Very little sweetness here, but there is a little bit of caramel bitter.

Samuel Smith’s Taddy Porter

9.0

Extremely strong maple, burnt flavoring that lingers in the mouth long after you’ve swallowed. Goes back very smooth, almost as easy as water. Definitely only for people with specialized tastes in beer. Premium beer drinkers wouldn’t know the difference between this and motor oil (hint: motor oil is thicker and tastes like a lawnmower engine).

Samuel Smith’s Winter Welcome Ale

7.6

I expected a cinnamon-esque taste here since this is sort of a holiday brew, but instead I got a surprisingly soft sweet taste. The sweetness grows with the number of drinks. The bottle says this drink was brewed at Yorkshire’s oldest brewery.

Sapporo Draft

3.5

Sapporo Draft is a Japanese beer. There is lots of carbonation here, but the drink is fairly smooth. The taste is very American. Worth trying once, but not anything you would want to drink regularly.

Saranac Adirondack Amber

6.9

The initial flavor is what makes this beer, but unfortunately that flavor doesn’t stay around too long. The initial taste is a strong, caramel (but not too sweet) flavor. The caramel hangs around a little while in the aftertaste, but not much. Thirty seconds after you take your last sip, you can’t tell if you were drinking a Saranac or a Miller Lite. As with many of the Saranac flavors, there is just a tad bit of a soapy taste in the afterwash. Thanks to the fine people at Saranac who allowed me to use their logo on my old Web page, “Ty’s Page for Beer Snobs.” Also, for those of you with an interest, the Saranac beers were the first ones I ranked.

Saranac Black & Tan

6.8

If you don’t know, a black and tan is a mixed stout and lager (at least in this case). Here the stout overpowers the lager too much, but this is a common fault of black and tans (and can’t be overcome unless maybe you used very little stout). Usually black and tans have to be made at a bar and don’t come mixed, as they do here in the bottle. This would be a good drink for heavier foods, like steaks.

Saranac Black Forest

6.9

This is a good beer for beer snobs who have moved just beyond the novice stage. It’s hardy and has good, strong flavor. Still, I wouldn’t say this beer is anything overly special – a typical dark beer, if there is such a thing.

Saranac Caramel Porter

6.8

A decently dark, toasted-tasting porter that can get heavy on your stomach, like any good, heavy beer. Any porter fan should enjoy this. Apparently they use real caramel in the brewing process.

Saranac Chocolate Amber

7.0

This is another beer brewed for a special time of year – here, it’s for summer. And no, there isn’t chocolate in this beer; there are certain types of dark beers (often porters or malts) known as “chocolate.” This beer is thick and heavy but not overpowering at all. I recommend this brew for beer snobs who are working up to stronger beers like stouts.

Saranac Dunkel Lager

7.3

This dark lager is labeled a limited release, which is a shame because it’s one of my favorites from the Saranac folk. This beer has a smooth, burnt caramel taste that’s easy to get used to. Heavy enough for even porter and stout fans to enjoy. At first, there’s some slight carbonation, but it is more than standable and eases as you drink more. By the way, as I’m writing this on Dec. 22, 2002, my online beer page is just more than five years old. What made me think of this was the fact that I started these beer pages with some of the Saranac brews.

SaranacGolden Pilsener

6.6

A surprisingly sweet burst of flavor at first, but the taste dies quick. A good, weak beer for beginners or for beer snobs who are looking for something light. A good beer for just drinking, though also would go well with any decent restaurant meal. The taste is stronger when the beer is slightly warm, room temperature. A slightly soapy aftertaste lowers this beer’s score quite a bit.

Saranac Hefeweizen

8.0

Smooth and sweet on the tongue at first, almost like a white ale, but as you swallow a fruity bitterness builds and then glides away. Light enough that you can enjoy several of these over a period of time. Don’t bother the cloudiness of the drink, or even if there’s some sediment on the bottom; unlike some beers, hefeweizens are supposed to be that way. This is another limited release from Saranac, which is too bad because as of Dec. 31, 2002, this is the highest rank I’ve given to one of their beers.

Saranac India Pale Ale

4.7

Skip this beer and go straight to Saranac Pale Ale if you want a decent pale ale. This doesn’t taste much like a pale ale and the soapy aftertaste some Saranac beers have is strongest here. This would be a good beer with burgers, mainly because the burger would kill most of the beer’s taste.

Saranac Light

6.8

Every brewer has to have a light beer, so this is the one from Saranac. This is one of my favorite light beers. Surprisingly little carbonation for a light beer. Has a smooth, crisp taste that is good enough for a true beer connoisseur to enjoy regularly as well as more typical beer drinkers. By the way, I’ve reported here before that Saranac beers I’ve tried in the past sometimes suffered from a slight soapy taste. As of this writing in late 2002, I have not noticed the mentioned soapy taste in Saranac beers in quite some time. Maybe they fixed the problem or maybe I just got a bad batch of Saranacs in the past or maybe my taste buds have changed. Who knows? Anyway, you can do a lot worse than drinking Saranac brews.

Saranac Maple Porter

7.0

A surprisingly good, harsh beer. Medium-level beer snobs could appreciate this brew as they work their way up to more stout material.

Saranac Mountain Berry Ale

6.9

The berry taste is not too strong and not too sweet, just right. Probably one of the better berry beers. This would be a good dessert beer for after a heavy meal or a good beer for a Christmas party.

Saranac Nut Brown Ale

5.4

A weak-tasting beer that’s flavor grows the more you drink, but even then the taste leaves your mouth quick. A little sweet going down. Would make a good ballpark or baseball party beer.

Saranac Pale Ale

6.5

A decent pale ale, but then again I’ve never had a pale ale I didn’t like. It doesn’t have quite the taste or stamina of better pale ales, but it is hardy enough to be a good pale ale for a beginner. A little too watery. Unless this is on sale, I’ll stick with Bass.

Saranac Single Malt Ale

7.0

This brew is made from Scottish Maris Otter malt, according to the bottle’s label. The label also boasts that this beer has a flavor distinctive from any other beer; I don’t know if I’d go that far, but it definitely is different from the rest of the Saranac beers. Goes down very smooth and wet with a bitterness that hits the tongue quickly but dies out on the way down to the stomach. The bitterness grows stronger the more you drink, but leaves your mouth soon except for a slight dull taste left in the mouth.

Saranac Stout

7.7

You should not be able to pour a stout into a clear glass and then see light through the glass. Here I can see light, but very little. This is a good stout for a beginning stout drinker. The taste is sweet at first, then turns bitter on the way down. If you can’t tell, I’m a stout person.

Saranac Winter Wassail

5.0

Yet another holiday brew with nutmeg, cinnamon, allspice, etc. This one also includes orange. The flavor here is not too sweet or overpowering, the way some special holiday beers are. Still, I’ve never cared for the taste of these winter drinks – if I want all those spices I’ll go drink apple cider. By the way, “Wassail” means “Be well!” in some language.

Schaefer

1.2

The label has the word “beer” on it, but I’m still skeptical. There is little taste here except for a cheap American flavor that vaguely floats around the back of your mouth. There is a lot of fizz for you burping fans. Don’t drink this.

Schaefer Light

0.8

I know it’s hard to believe, but there is less taste in this drink than there is in the non-light version, and more carbonation. I’ve tasted better used ashtrays. The F&M Schaefer Brewing Company of Detroit, Michigan, dares to distribute this liquid.

Schell Pils

3.0

Very light and sweet. Comes from New Ulm, Minnesotta. A good beer for true beer drinkers (though not necessarily a beer snobs beer).

Schlenkerla Rauchbier

5.5

This German “smoked beer” suffers from the tiniest bit of flatness, but it has a cool burnt quality that’s the equivalent of one of the weaker porters. Worth drinking. Even makes a good sipping beer while you’re on the computer for long hours.

Schlitz

1.5

How is anyone still alive in Milwaukee since all this bad beer comes from there? Stay away from this beer. It’s weak and has a little carbonation. Not enough flavor to be worth anything except if you are wanting a cheap drunk.

Schlitz Malt Liquor

0.7

Well, it’s wet … and that’s about the only good thing that can be said about it (okay, it’ll get you drunk, too, if that’s what you’re looking for). Hardly any taste here at all except a little sweetness on the way down. Not a lot of fizz, though. Makes you feel kind of silly drinking out of a can with a big blue bull on the front of it.

Schneider Weisse

5.7

This German ale says on the bottle it is the “original” hefe-weizen; that’s too bad, because I’ve had better. This drink is extremely sweet with some carbonation. I wouldn’t want to drink this on a regular basis, but it’s not bad.

Sea Dog Riverdriver Hazelnut Porter

6.2

The fine folks at Sea Dog Brewing Co. of Bangor, Maine brew and bottle this stuff. This beer has a very strong coffee/hazelnut taste with just a tad bit of maple included. Tastes a little like burnt caramel popcorn. Frothy and very thick for a porter – almost stout level; definitely not for beer snob beginners. Too bitter – would score higher if the bitterness were under control.

Shiner Bock

6.8

This Spoetzl Brewery beer is fairly heavy with a touch of maple and some fizz. I normally don’t like fizzy beer, but this one seems to work. Not the best beer on the planet, but the taste is complicated enough to give some enjoyment to beer tasters. Obviously brewed in Shiner, Texas.

Shiner Hefeweizen

7.1

Smooth with a light bitterness and a fruity aftertaste. A fantastic drink served cold almost to the point of freezing. Apparently contains clover honey and lemon peel. I could drink this stuff all day long. Even the foam tastes good!

Shiner Kolsch

5.2

While I don’t rank this drink as high as other Shiner brews, it is still a good solid staple beer any beer snob could be proud to drink on a regular basis. Strong, but not too strong. Carbonated, but not too fizzy. The flavor could best be described as “good, and not weak.”

Shock Top

4.7

This is Anheuser-Busch’sversion of a Belgian white ale, basically a light wheat ale with citrus and spice flavors added. This is actually one of the better brews from Anheuser-Busch. It’s not the best Belgian white around, but it’s pretty decent for something that has been mass brewed. Worth drinking with lighter foods, like fish or baked chicken and lighter pastas.

Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale

3.0

Sierra Nevada’s holiday/winter beer. There’s a strong, bitter cinnamon/spices taste here. I just flat out don’t like these spicy holiday drinks.

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

7.3

Strong for a pale ale, but wet and worth drinking. This would go good with roast beef.

Sierra Nevada Porter

7.6

A strong maple taste, but not too much of a burnt taste. Dry in the mouth. Would go well with bar food or a steak. Very heavy, almost like a stout. The sweetness is strong, but not quite overpowering. According to Bob Klein in “The Beer Lover’s Rating Guide,” the beer called “porter” was originally called “entire.” Apparently London porters of the 18th century preferred this type of heavy beer over others, so the beer came to be called a porter.

Sierra Nevada Stout

7.2

A very strong maple taste. Strong but not as heavy as many stouts. Not for beginners. Very bitter.

Singha

1.2

This malt liquor is made by the Boon Rawd Brewery Co., Ltd., of Bangkok, Thailand. Tons of carbonation here with an awful bitter flavor that tastes like a bottle of cologne was dumped in the beer batch. You can do better with turpentine.

Skullsplitter Orkney Ale

6.2

Made by Orkney Brewery in Scotland. Orkney is a group of islands on the north side of Scotland. This brew is pretty smooth and frothy, but too sweet for my taste. A Scottish ale in fact and flavor.

Slo Brewing Co. Blueberry Ale

6.0

Smells like blueberry Eggo waffles, but believe it or not, this is not a sweet beer. In fact, I was surprised how well this went down. Not overly bitter and definitely has a strong lager feel to it. Did not taste overly fruity to me, but it did smell that way.

Slo Brewing Co. Cole Porter

4.9

For those of you who like really strong, nutty-flavored beers, this is for you. Goes down smooth and frothy, but the almond taste was too strong for me (which is why the score isn’t any higher than it is). This beer comes from the Slo Brewing Co., a brewery/restaurant in San Luis Obispo, California.

Slo Brewing Co. Extra Pale Ale

7.9

This one scared me at first because it had a bit of a malt liquor smell, but the taste is good with a little froth. Goes down bitter but leaves a mixed sweet/bitter taste in the mouth.

Solstice Winter Ale

5.6

This Wynkoop brewery beer is a bit on the sweet side, but then again it’s supposed to be a winter brew. This beer is brewed in Denver, Colorado, and is worth checking out if you are in the area.

Southpaw Light

2.6

Yes, another weak, carbonated drink from Milwaukee. This one is from Plank Road Brewery. Just stop drinking any beers from Milwaukee and you have a pretty good chance of making it through life without tasting a bad beer. Remember, I’m talking about TASTING, not DRINKING; there actually are some beers that are worth drinking but not worth tasting. This isn’t one of them.

Spanish Peaks Black Dog Ale

7.7

An amber lager with some kick. Wet and soothing going down the throat with a strong bitterness as it glides over the tongue. The first sip has a touch of sweet way in the back, but that disappears quickly.

Spanish PeaksBlack Dog Sweetwater Wheat Ale

7.0

Has a clean, sturdy bitterness and some carbonation. A good cigar beer. Hints of sweetness.

Spanish Peaks Honey Raspberry Ale

6.6

Too much carbonation, but otherwise has a nice berry taste that is not overly sweet. Some bitter here too.

Spanish Peaks Porter

7.1

Strong and bitter, almost to the level of a weaker stout. The burnt maple taste is here but not overpowering, as it is in some porters. Goes down fairly easy. One of the better porters I’ve had.

Spanish Peaks White

8.8

A light, slightly sweet beer with some texture and flavor reminiscent of a Belgian lambic. In other words, it feels and tastes something like a cider. The bottle says this fine ale is made with “orange peel, coriander & black pepper.” Comes to us from the Spanish Peaks Brewing Co. of New Ulm, Minesotta, and Bozeman, Montana.

Steel Reserve

2.3

Wet with a very American flavor. A little hard to swallow at first but this eases up by the fourth drink or so. Nothing special about this beer. It’s a product of the Steel Brewing Company of Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Steinlager

3.0

The bottle calls this New Zealand’s finest. If that’s true, then I wouldn’t drink beer while in New Zealand. True, there are many beers worse than this one, but there’s plenty that are a whole lot better. Has a cheap German-but-made-for-Americans flavor to it. It’s beers like this that keep Budweiser drinkers from trying other foreign beers..

Stella Artois

3.7

The lager from Belgium is very smooth going down but has a somewhat American taste. A smooth, slightly bitter flavor. This brew has gained in popularity in recent years, and it is a decen beer, but I didn’t think it wasall that.

Stone Imperial Russian Stout

6.5

One of the sweet stouts. Made in San Diego County, California. Has the strong, burnt caramel taste of a decent stout. The bottle says this brew is a limited release for the spring of 2006, but I’m drinking it in the early winter of 2007 and it still tastes fine to me. If you don’t watch yourself, a strong brew like this can get you loopy very quickly.

Straub

5.4

Brewed by the Straub Brewery, Inc. of St. Mary’s, Pennsylvania. Goes down extremely smooth, almost too smooth. The bottle says this stuff is made with mountain spring water and has no preservatives, no sugar and no salt; that’s good because there’s almost no taste. I’m not saying it tastes bad, just not much taste at all. People fond of water would like this beer.

Stroh’s

2.5

Pretty much a weak, American beer. Still, not a bad bar beer. The Stroh Brewery Company of Detroit, Michigan, puts out this stuff.

Stroh’s Light

1.9

Wet and weak with not as much carbonation as many light beers. The sourness in the aftertaste ruins this beer, but then what did you expect?

SudwerkHefe Weizen

5.7

The folks who make this beer make it in Davis, California, but they also have a “Sudwerk Brewery and Grill” in Sacramento, California. This beer is wet with a fairly strong bitterness. Enjoyable, but not a very special beer.

Related beers links

The Amateur Beer Snob’s Guide to Beer: The T Beers

The Amateur Beer Snob’s Guide to Beer: The U-Z Beers

The Amateur Beer Snob’s Guide to Beer: The A Beers

Quote from Queen Victoria

Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them.

1. Wear rubber shoes. — A perfect place to hide or dispose cabbages, carrots or pickles.
2. Place all carrot, broccoli and potatoes in your pocket. — Yep, remove all keys, coins or gum wrappers from your pocket before dinner, there must be enough space to hide 50% of the vegetables. We don’t want them to be forced through your mouth or esophagus now, do we?
3. Pretend to accidentally spill juice, wine, beer or milk all over your plate where the vegetables are. — The results of this might be futile, they could give you more knowing that you really didn’t eat some. But it’s still worth to try. But, you can do this over and over again until there’s no more vegetables left.
4. Read while you are eating. — Tell your parents you have an important exam and you’re not allowed to fail. Once they look away, squeeze all possible vegetables in between the pages. Make sure to squeeze the green vegetables first, they’re the healthy ones, therefore, they’re deadly.
5. Make the small tomatoes roll under the table. — Obviously, you can’t squeeze this in a book. Make them roll under the table. But beware though, they might roll over to your parents.
6. Insert some peas in your nose. — This is kinda dangerous, it might clog your nose and lead to unexpected death after chocking or suffocating, but if you’re an expert, you can do it.
7. Catapult them to the nearest garbage bin. — Use your spoon. If there is no near garbage bins, your mother’s vase will do the trick.
8. Place them in a dining room decoration. — Have you ever seen plastic fruits in a basket? Yeah, I’m sure you have, place them there. Don’t worry. They’ll blend in. But be sure to remove them and throw them while everyone is asleep. If they rot there, you’re parents will surely find out. So, remove them.

Right now, those are the things I do to my vegetables. Do these, and you’ll never eat a green leaves again. Make sure not to place them in your mouth. Your taste buds will generate chemicals to possibly melt the vegetable.

(Fact: This is only made for the entertainment of all of ou readers. And the author wrote this because she’s bored and crazy.)

To serve crow properly you need a good recipe and a proper setting:

1. The table should be set with at least one witness at the finest table with the finest china (preferences of witnesses may vary in accordance to the situation).
2. The crow should be served on a silver platter with silver utensils
3. A proper recipe should be followed to the last detail:

• 1 crow (boiled)
• 2 cups crushed pride
• 1 cup whipped ego
• 1 onion (finely chopped)
• 1 tsp of sensibility
• 1 dash black pepper

Place crow, crushed pride, and whipped ego into a casserole dish and heat until tender.
(Note: the bigger the crow, the better the satisfaction)

Spread chopped onion (for tears), sensibility (for sincerity), and black pepper (for runny noses) over the top and serve hot.

Good served with humble pie for desert.

There is something wrong with the human psyche that we have such a hard time admitting wrongness or even that we enjoy proving someone else wrong.  Just imagine how the world would be without such pride.  No more wars, no more power struggles, and no more crows… But then we would probably miss the wonderfully annoying bird.

Tomato

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Could someone tell Warner Bros. to get Bugs girlfriend to put out, this is the third freaking one this year!

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Just when you thought Roberto was your only competition!

Butternut Squash

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A famous Aussie fruit, this one got a lil’ too..excited maybe?

Orange

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Move over Mr. T, Mr. O’s taking over!

Carrots

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Who says only humans like foreplay?

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Ah hillbillies, what would the world be without ‘em…

Chilly

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Ladies, up for a..hot pepper?

If you snickered at any of the above images, you’re now officially a gutter-head. Mind leaving your contact information if you’re an XX-chromosome carrier?

The Clinic

Image credit: Designboom

Location: Aurum, Singapore

The clinic is a hospital-themed restaurant in Singapore. Here the waiters are dressed in white coats like nurses and can be seen serving colourful pills and syringes of cocktails with names like “Nitro-Sangria” and “Sex on a Drip” to wheel chair-ridden customers. Here the plates are surgical pans designed in the shape of kidneys and rooms are in the shape of wards. For dessert you can ask them to put you on an IV.

Dinner in the Sky

Images credit: Dinnerinthesky

Location: Brussels, Belgium

Dinner in the sky is hosted at a table suspended in air at a height of 50 metres above ground by a team of professionals. It gives you a thrilling experience as you can have your breakfast, lunch, dinner, cocktails etc in the sky. Although it is presently located in Belgium it can be driven to any destination in the world.

Bytes

Images credit: Selfserviceworld.com

Location: Canterbury, UK

Here 15-inch touch screens are mounted beside the tables for placing orders. The software enables the drink orders to go to the bar and the food orders to the kitchen. After placing the order the screen offers free games like trivia, solitaire etc.

Toilet Restaurant

Image credit: Shenzhenparty.com

Location: Shenzhen, China

The hotel resembles a bathroom. Dining seats are replaced by toilet seats, and the food is served in toilet bowls and miniature bathtubs.

Le Spirite Lounge

Image credit: Flickr

Location: Montreal, Canada

Le Spirite Lounge is a vegan restaurant. This is special for its weird rules like you get your dessert only if you finish your meal. If you do not finish the dessert you can never go back there.

The Jail

Image credit: Funfever

Location: Taipei, Taiwan

The jail exactly looks like a jail with rusty iron and wooden bars and sliding prison bars. The waiters/ waitresses are dressed like cops. They hand cuff the customers and lead them to their cells where they can be seated in normal dining tables.

Snow Castle

Image credit: News

Location: Kemi, Finland

Snow castle is open from 10 am to 7 pm. You can enjoy delicious meals, sip your drinks and eat desserts, all at -5°C. But you must make advanced reservation for this restaurant.

Observatory Restaurant

Image credit: Aloeridgehotel

Location: Johannesburg, South Africa

The observatory restaurant has two telescopes, a 25″ (62cm) and a 16″ (40 cm). Visitors are allowed to look through these telescopes. The first 25″ telescope can be used before and during the various courses of food ordered and the second one can be used during and after the desserts.

Robot Kitchen

Image credit: Robots-dreams

Location: Hong Kong

There are two robots in Robot Kitchen restaurant one for taking orders from the customers and another for delivering. With the sensors including audio, video devices, these robots can even respond to small commands if spoken in Cantonese.

Clematis

Images credit: Jaixa-imaging

Location: Visby, Sweden

Clematis conducts medieval weeks during the spring, autumn and winter. Here you can enjoy medieval jesters, musicians, fire-eaters along with the medieval food and go back to the Middle Age.

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In Thailand’s caves, tiny birds called Swiftlet’s construct their nests with interwoven strands of salivary laminae cement. These nests are harvested and boiled to make birds nest soup. Hong Kong and the US are the biggest importers. A bowl will cost you $30-$100 US dollars in Hong Kong. Locals believe the soup helps digestion, raises libido, improves voice quality, cures asthma, and increases concentration.

Geoduck

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Actually it is a Canadian and US salt water clam….not a duck. They look like big fat slimy elephant trunks. Their life expectancy is about 146 years, probably because the are buried under two to three feet of sediment depth. They sell in Asia for about 30 per lb.

Baby Bee Larvae

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Are popular in China and Japan. People often deep fry or fry with a soy and sugar sauce. They look like maggots. Locals believe bee larva improves stamina, reduces hair shedding, and cures aches.

Shark Fin Soup

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A fisherman cuts the fin off of a live shark and then throws the still living shark back into the sea. The finless shark is unable to move and will either suffocate or be eaten by other marine life. Shark fin soup is a Chinese delicacy and a symbol of wealth or prestige in their culture. Raw shark fins (of any species) are skinned, bleached, and dried or frozen. Then when the cook is ready to make the soup, the fin is soaked to soften it, and boiled in chicken broth. Wives tale claim to cure cancer, enhance appetite, and be an aphrodisiac.

Fugu

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Is a Japanese puffer fish. Some of it’s organs produce tetrodotoxin, a deadly, quick-acting poison. If not prepared correctly and detoxified correctly it will kill you when you ingest it. Therefore, in Japan, only licensed cooks are allowed to prepare fugu. Still, thousands die each year from poisoning. A plate will cost you $15-$200 dollars.

Balut

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Is a fertilized duck egg that contains a nearly-developed embryo inside. In the Philippines people boil and then eat the shell and all. Some people eat them with chili or soak in vinegar. In Vietnamese cooking the embryo is allowed to get old enough to have bones and is actually recognizable as a duck.

P’tcha

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Eaten in Jewish European and US cultures. Calf hooves and bones are boiled and then minced or pounded into a paste and refrigerated to make a jelly. Sometimes garlic and vegetables are added then strained from the boiling process.

Bull Penis

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In China you can order this dish steamed, roasted, or boiled. To boil- the penis is sliced into strips and dropped into a pot of stock. The strips curl up when they are done. Apparently at the Guo-li-zhuang restaurant, you can order an array of penis …..deer, goat, tiger, buffalo, rhino, etc. It is served with a lemon or chili sauce. Supposedly it is good for a number of ailments and increases the libido in men.

Rice Art

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By coloring the rice and then shaping it, these creative chefs have created comical, edible characters. Most of these dishes have been designed for the delight of children, but are also enjoyed by adults. The chef uses other foodstuffs in the dish, such as seaweed, to give the character more personality.

Sushi Art

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Sushi is one of Japan’s most famous and internationally appreciated foods. Sushi is well-known foe being not only delicious, but an attractive, healthy meal. These chefs have taken the artistic food a step further, using colored sushi rice, fish roe (fish eggs), seaweed sheets and different vegetables to create patterns and pictures with the sushi.

Watermelon Art

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These chefs have used watermelons as a canvas for their designs. Cutting into the fruit at different depths allows them to utilize a specific color layer within the fruit. The green portions of the picture are the skin, the white is found below the skin and the pinks are found at the centre of the melon. By carefully cutting around the green portions, the artistic chef can create an artwork from the simple fruit.

Japanese food is more than just sustenance. Each meal can be appreciated for its flavor, texture and aesthetic value.

Coca-Cola Logo is the most well known logo in the world.

Here are the list of some new Coca Cola Products around the World.

Coca-Cola Coke

Coke is the most popular well known cola around the world, with a young spirit who are thirsty of getting the best from life. Coca-Cola is the experienced drink that quenches thirst and inspires the connection between the people who enjoy every single moment. Because only ice-cold Coca-Cola has the delicious taste that deeply refreshes the body, mind, and spirit.

Coca-Cola Light

Coca-Cola Light is a light beverage that allows to enjoy the authentic cola flavor without breaking your commitment of feeling well physical and emotionally, because only Coca-Cola Light combines the authentic cola flavor with zero calories. Good for body conscious to stay fit.

Sprite

Sprite is the official drinks of NBA. Good For adolescents and young adults who are in process of establishing their own identity. Sprite is the only young drink that quenches your thirst and your wish of being authentic, because its honest and direct attitude is instinctively combined with its fresh and clear taste. Obey your thirst!

Fresca

Recommended for extreme teenage have more energy consuming life. Fresca is the light drink that best refreshes you physical and emotionally for its refreshing grapefruit taste and its fun, daring, and open attitude.

Coke Cherry

Enjoy the extraordinary of cherry and coke mixed. For out outgoing teens who love to have fun with lots of friends, Coke Cherry combines the bold, exhilarating taste of cherry with Coca Cola to add life to the party.

Coke Blak

Enjoy the aroma of Coca cola and Coffee mixed. Coke Blak is a blend of Coke and coffee essence, in a sleek aluminum contour bottle by British design firm Pearl fisher. Aimed at adults, the bottle’s graphics lend a sophisticated look to a company famous for its iconic red cans.

Fanta

Good For teenagers with passion to experiment life at its fullest, standing out from their group of friends. FANTA is the drink with fruit taste that amazes your senses and intensifies your everyday-funny-moments. Because only FANTA has the intense taste and sparkling colors that have a creative, fun, and spontaneous attitude.

Senzao

Senzao made from Guarana, a fruit grows only in Brazil, A carbonated softdrinks with the spirit of Carnival and spirit of Brazilians. Good for youngsters who want to be themselves creating and showing their own style, Senzao is the light and the only drink with a Guarana taste that naturally un inhibits you filling up your body with energy and fortifying your spirit.

Beat

Good for adolescents who live life at its fullest, Beat is a cool drink that is part of the spontaneous and energetic intensity of the group, because its color, taste, caffeine and design combine its wish to live without limits.

Delaware Punch

Enjoy with Delaware Punch is the sweet that activates your imagination, creating an atmosphere of suspense and mystery because only Delaware Punch combine a deep color with an intense taste experience you cant forgot.

Ciel

Coca cola Mineral water version. This product is for balanced, optimist, and complete people who search equilibrium in life, Ciel is the purified and fresh water that helps you feel good with yourself because its mineral balance, achieved by the Coca-Cola Company, gives you the physical and mental balance that your body needs.

Powerade

Coca cola energy drink. This is for active young adults who always want to achieve more, Powerade is the sports drink that gives you the strength to perform better and the confidence to surpass your own limits, because it offers you the precise combination energy and hydration to maximize your body performance and it gives you a quick recovery. Good for Sport professionals that give extra energy long last.

Coke Zero

The newest soda advertised by Coca Cola company. Coke Zero has no sugar less calorie soda, good for body figure conscious, stay in good shape. No sugar recommended for diabetes patient.

So better beware! Some of these items may sound yummy but knowing the ingredients might tweak one’s sensibilities, while others are the other way around.

Here goes:

Colonial Goose

A classic dish of New Zealand. This dish is deboned lamb leg stuffed with dried apricots mixed with honey, finely chopped onion and parsley, seasonings and herbs; and coated with breadcrumbs and bacon; and then soaked in a marinade with red wine added so that it will resemble a certain kind of fowl when roasted. In a land where geese are quite scarce and where sheep outnumber its human population more than ten to one, the New Zealanders had to use their creativity in creating what has become a popular dish.

Sweetbreads

Sweetbreads on mushroom risotto.

A cholesterol-rich European delicacy, often served as an appetizer. It is made of the pancreas or thymus gland of young lambs or calves, which are usually dipped in flour, and then seared, fried, or grilled until medium done to retain its spongy texture.

Toad in the Hole

A traditional British dish, considered as not so healthy by today’s standards as animal fat is sometimes used to achieve desired taste and texture. This dish, also known as poor man’s roast, comprises of pork sausages baked in Yorkshire pudding batter until puffed up, golden brown and crispy and is often served with onion gravy and steamed vegetables.

Welsh Rabbit

Also called Welsh rarebit, this popular Welsh snack is simply toasted cheese on toast. The sliced cheese is sometimes combined with milk, butter and mustard before placing it on hot toast and then heated. Variations include topping the cheese with poached/fried egg, onions, herbs, sliced tomato and/or bacon.

Gunpowder Tea

A type of Chinese green tea. It is so called since each individual leaf used was rolled into tiny irregular-shaped pellets, somehow resembling gunpowder, in order to better preserve its flavor and aroma. Pingshui, Formosa and Ceylon are some of its more popular varieties.

Ants Climbing a Tree

A super spicy Szechuan dish, whose name is a literal translation of its Chinese name “蚂蚁上树” that is quite descriptive of how tiny pieces of ground pork sticking to the noodle looked like. Ground pork is first marinated and cooked in a sauce mixture of sesame oil, vinegar, soy sauce, ginger and chili paste; and then it is poured over stir-fried glass or vermicelli noodles.

Bear Claw

A super yummy pastry item, very much popular in Western United States. This breakfast item is made with Danish pastry dough and often contains fillings of nuts, dates and raisins. It is partially sliced 3 to 4 times on one side and is then gently spread open to resemble a bear’s claw, hence its name.

Head Cheese

Also called souse or brawn, these are chunks of seasoned meat from cow’s, pig’s or sheep’s head, feet, heart and tongue, which have been heated in gelatinous broth, poured in a mold to cool and sliced after they had settled. It gives a distinguishing taste when mixed in salads and sandwiches.

Monkeygland Sauce

A rather unappealing and unusual name for a popular South African sweet and sour-tasting sauce. This condiment is simply a mixture of fruit chutney, red wine, tomatoes, onion, chilis, sugar, vinegar and spices; and tastes great on steaks, ribs and even hamburgers.

Rocky Mountain Oysters

A popular western American dish usually served as appetizers in steak restaurants; so named due to its resemblance to oysters. Also called “cowboy caviar” and “swinging sirloin,” it is actually bull or buffalo testicles that had been peeled, sliced, breaded, flattened and deep-fried.

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