Simple, Utilitarian Manhole Cover in NOLA

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In a city where everything is extraordinary, this seemingly plain manhole cover located in New Orleans, Louisiana almost seems boring. It serves its purpose of course. Manhole covers might even be used for purposes not envisioned by their manufacturer. I have in~situ used manhole covers very similar to this in my costuming work that used pop rivets. I would use the flat-surfaced iron surface and a hammer to pound flat the rivet tails after joining together larger plastic carapaces. The surface of the manhole cover served as sort of an anvil. It was seeing this image that got me wondering what other types and designs of manhole covers might exist.

A Map of London Sewers, In Case You Get Lost

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Telephone Access Manhole Covers

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Not just for access to municipal sewer systems, manhole covers provide access to buried phone & communications lines, gas or steam lines, potable water supply, and other needs for urban life as we know it.

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A Warlord’s Shield?

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The author of this image cites that this particular manhole cover is of an older type belonging to the Tokyo Electric Power, Japan, dating to circa 1960’s. When I saw this one I could not help but see a warrior’s shield.

Firefighter Manhole Cover

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 -Have you ever noticed that what is mundane in any other country is always something extraordinary in Japan? Manhole covers are no exception!

Bejeweled Manhole Cover in Rhode Island?

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Are they amethyst? Is it colored glass? These are actually glass prisms that refract light into the dark space below created possibly in the day before electric illumination. Its purpose is clearly to guide repairmen working below to where the exists are should they become separated or lose their way in the dark if their lantern extinquished.

This link below may very well be the source of the passive sunroof manhole covers shown above, a glimpse into the previous century and how things were done before electric modernization.

See: Jacob Mark & Sons Vault Lighting

How Wooden Sailing Vessels Were Illuminated Below Deck

Old wooden sailing vessels used something similar; a non-flame way to illuminate below deck which worked of course, only during the daylight hours. It was solid glass pyramid-shaped object (see diagram below) about the size of a small cantaloupe. These employed a large square base attached to the bottom of the pyramid by a small square pedestal neck. It was one solid piece of glass, cut and polished to transmit and disperse daylight.

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Installed pointy-end downwards into the wooden deck, the square base was seated level into the deck and sunlight would filter through the hand-blown glass providing some passive light during the day to the deck below. The four sides of the pyramid would disperse the light to all corners of the room. The points of contact with the deck were water-tight of course.

These early glass skylights are sometimes found washed upon ocean-facing beaches or found on the sea floor near known wrecks of galleon sailing ships of previous centuries. Their design is similar to the camera obscura devices which projected enlarged images onto walls through lensing principles and prism action.

A valuable collector’s item these ceiling lights of the days of sailing vessels, often people whom have or acquire these in curio shops don’t even know what they have.

Alligators in the Sewers?

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As if there were not enough deterrent to stay topside, a reminder that that may be Cayman below would keep even the Phantom out of the sewer network. I am reminder about square manhole covers. I think that Microsoft University uses square manhole covers statedly ‘to be different.’ Just like their software, -could a square manhole cover could be considered to be broken by design? A round manhole cover will not drop into he hole it covers while a square manhole cover will fit diagonally through the hole and drop inside. -A chance for vandalism. While a round hole might make it slightly more difficult to get in and out of for sewer/telephone workers, it is for their benefit. Have you ever noticed that manholes in the ground are a relatively tight fit? The ’smaller hole’ is actually designed this way as a safety feature. A worker might slip entering or leaving a manhole but by virtue of the smaller entry will get caught by his elbows, clothes or armpits perhaps thus averting a more serious injury from an uninterrupted fall.

Advantage: round manhole cover. A circle is the strongest shape afforded and can withstand more compression of the earth around them. And circular manhole covers are easier to make. A round iron object can be milled on a lathe easiest to ensure uniformity. A square or rectangle manhole cover requires more work and is prone to warping from traffic passing over them.

When a ’street racing’ event is sanctioned and permitted, manhole covers must be welded down. The combined effects of speed and aerodynamic lift of the car passing rapidly over a manhole can actually lift a manhole cover up from its grate, possibly with disastrous results to the car behind.

Wikipedia cites that in Montreal in the year 1990, World Sportscar Championship racer Jésus Pareja’s struck a manhole cover that was sucked up by the vacuum effect of the racer in front of him, causing his car to catch fire.

Manhole Cover in Outer Space?

A urban myth (which may be factual but the main evidence is missing) states that a manhole cover may have been blasted into outer space in the 1950s in a test of an atomic explosion. Operation Plumbbob had a 900kg steel plate that was blasted off the end of a test shaft at an estimated speed of six times Earth’s escape velocity.

The math calculation is cited to possibly be incorrect (probably less than 6X escape velocitu but still..) the manhole cover was never found and thus, the myth endures. The speed of ’six times escape velocity’ may be in part based upon photographic evidence only: a single photographic frame that shows a solid vertical blur that is identified as the manhole cover. The speed of the exposure and the height of the blur could be explained mathematically and might be the main source of this velocity data. I would love to find out someday that NASA finds a radioactive manhole cover orbiting the sun somewhere out there in interplanetary orbit. That would be totally awesome and inspiring. Think about this for a moment; the Soviet Union’s (and the world’s, for that matter) first man made satellite was Sputnik 1, launched on October 4th, 1957. If we discover that an American made & launched manhole cover is in space then it is was the U.S. that sent the first man made object into outer space, not the U.S.S.R.

It is generally believed however that the manhole cover was vaporized by the atmosphere due to the high velocity. -A meteorite, in reverse.

If this manhole cover is someday in the future found orbiting the sun it would not reduce the triumph of achievement that was Sputnik 1, but it would rewrite the history books with an existential twist of strange fate with a humorous side note.

I had no idea what a noogie was before I discovered this little story. Noogies are not something I am familiar with and I don’t even think we have here in England; not by that name anyway. We call this a Russian haircut, or a monkey scrub. Well, people who do this to other people call it so. Perhaps I was the recipient of one of these as a child. I did have two brothers who constantly found ways of annoying girls. However, I  don’t remember.

Source: Flickr Creative Commons:  Getting A Noogie

15 year old Ethan Mirenberg was suspended from school for allegedly giving his former Spanish teacher a ‘noogie’. Apparently the boy didn’t think he had done anything wrong and considered it to be a bit of harmless fun.

However, the female teacher didn’t consider it amusing when he grabbed her by the neck and ground his knuckles into her scalp. (Perhaps it sound a bit more vicious than it actually was.)

The boy’s father protested and claimed that the straight A student had done nothing improper. However, a court case went ahead and the family concerned had to move to a different area to get the boy back into school.

The state supreme courts judge, despite appeals from the boy’s father, allowed the school’s decision of a ten month suspension to stand.

Apparently the boy denies the noogie and his lawyer is trying to get him totally vindicated. Lawyer, Edward Palzik, says that all the boy did was to hug the teacher lightly and pat her on the head. 

Another odd case that has found its way to the US courts!

So, I learned a new word.  Stay away from me if you don’t want a noogie!

Female counterpart of Batman, all of the skills but with a lot more beauty. She first showed up way back in 1961.

Betty Boop

The good thing about cartoons is that no matter how old they get they still look as good as they did when they were younger. Betty Boop has been about since the 1930’s.

Betty Rubble

Long suffering wife of Barney, who is the long suffering friend of Fred Flinstone, there is just something about Betty Rubble that trumps Wilma every single time.

Cheetara

There was only two good reasons to watch Thundercats. In fact, scratch that, there was only one good reason to watch it, and that was Cheetara.

Daphne

Daphne played the eye-candy to Velma’s genius in Scooby Doo. The creators were obviously onto something with that idea.

Elastigirl

From the film The Incredibles, Elastigirl’s real name is Helen Parr. She may be able to stretch quite a lot but is that really why she made it onto this list?

Jessica Rabbit

From the film Who Framed Roger Rabbit, how on earth a dopey rabbit could ever manage to marry one as hot as Jessica is beyond anyone’s imagination. Well apart from the imagination of the one who created it.

Lois Griffin

Husband Peter may be nothing short of a big fat slob, and daughter Meg might well have been hit with the ugly stick once or twice but it is Lois Griffin that provides the ‘eye-candy’ in Family Guy.

Smurfette

She may be blue, she may be a smurf and she may be the creation of someones imagination but there is still something rather alluring about smurfette.

Tinker Bell

Her voice may sound like a tinkling bell and you might be able to fly is she sprinkles magic dust over you but watch out for her jealous streak. Still, as cartoon characters go…!

• The first thing you have to do is draw back your top and bottom lips so that they cover your teeth. Don’t worry about looking silly at this point, the end result are worth it.
• You have two options to consider at this point. Whether you want it to be a one-handed or two-handed whistle. If you chose the one-handed option it is best to use the thumb and and any one of your other fingers (practise with different ones until you find the most comfortable). For the two handed approach, use either the right and left index fingers, right and left little fingers or right and left middle fingers.
• The purpose of the fingers in the mouth is that they will hold the lips back over the teeth and will keep the bottom lip as taut as possible.
• Place each finger halfway between the corner of your mouth and the centre of your lips. Insert them up to the first knuckle. If you start to choke at this point, you have inserted them too much.
• Angle your fingernails in towards the centre of your tongue and bring them together. This is the point where most people go wrong at, if you find yourself pointing them to the back of your throat you are doing it wrong!
• Getting tricky now. Draw back your tongue so that the tip is almost touching the bottom of your mouth (a little way behind the lower teeth).
• Take a deep breath and blow (this forces the air over you fingers and lower lip.

If all of this has worked for you, you should be finger-whistling like a pro. If you have found it hasn’t worked, then back to the drawing-board. You know what they say – practice makes perfect.

Well, whatever you believe… apocalypse or not… there’s no harm in making sure you’re all set in case the worst happens. Isn’t the Boy Scouts’ motto “Always Be Prepared”? 

SALT! I cannot impress upon you how important salt is. Okay, so maybe your doctor says it’s giving you high blood pressure right now. But that’s because you’re using too much of it (salt is already in most foods, therefore it’s not necessary to add more).

Fact is, salt is actually vital for you. Salt regulates the water in your body. A sodium deficiency can lead to seizures; even cause you to fall into a coma.  

Image via Wikipedia

Salt’s even been used in place of currency. In fact, the word “salary” comes from the word salt. And perhaps you’ve heard the saying “worth his weight in salt”. Yep. Salt was a real comparison of worth because of its high value.

One of the main health necessities of salt is due to its iodine. Years back they started putting iodine in salt, a small but essential amount that keeps us from Iodine Deficiency. This lack of iodine is pretty serious. It can lead to mental retardation. (Worldwide, Iodine Deficiency effect 2 billion people)

Image via Wikipedia

Salt is a great preservative. Once we lose electricity, we lose refrigeration. Salt may be the only way you will be able to keep your meats for any length of time.

Plus, rumor has it salt can help you fight off demons. If the religious nuts are right and the apocalypse comes by way of Lucifer, than that’s just one more reason why you should have plenty of salt on hand.

So, bottom line: Salt is cheap. If you’re smart, you’ll start stocking up your cupboards now with this white, grainy gold.

Image via Wikipedia

The most famous deformities are Siamese Twins. Most do not survive.  Undoubtedly without medical aid none could be born naturally and the mother too, would die.  For more information (and freaky pictures) on Siamese twins click here!

Another deformity can be caused later in life, as the result of the polio virus.  The virus travels through the bloodstream and into the brain.  Although it has been halted in many areas thanks to vaccinations, it should be noted that the below photo was taken as recently as 1995.  It primarily strikes young people and can leave them paralyzed. 

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Polio_sequelle.jpg

Hypertelorism is a genetic deformity that causes body parts to be placed farther apart.  Most often the eyes are abnormally wide set, as we see in the seven year old girl below.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypertelorism

Another famous freak is the freak accident, as when a skier crashes into a tree.  Particularly funny to witness, not too funny to be involved in.  A free accident is typically one that nobody could  have predicted, or something that happens very rarely, and should have been easily avoided. 

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Freak_accident_-_entire_photo.JPG

Freak storms are an other freak event we just love to watch, over and over.  As long at it is not happening to us.  Below we see a tsunami that hit Thailand in 2004.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:2004-tsunami.jpg

Some people are noted for being freaks.  For some this is a good thing, while others are bullied or teased, shunned by society for having the guts to be different and live their life the way they would want.  Obviously some people are freaks because of natural physical deformities, as mentioned above, but these are the people who have the stigma of being freaks only because their behavior is different than what is the cultural norm.  Below we see a man who even calls himself a freak, this is John the freak at Hempfest in Seattle.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Seattle_Hempfest_2007_-_John_the_Freak_01A.jpg

Because it is today considered socially unacceptable to put freaks on display, the once common “Freak Show” in circuses and fairs is getting harder and harder to find.  While some freaks in the past were probably real, others may have been faked.  If today we saw this picture (below) we would question if the remainder of the person was simply hidden under the sand.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:FreaksPoster2.jpg

None the less there is something in the human psyche that longs to look at freaks for one reason or another.  We need to watch train wrecks, disasters, and to look at deformities.  This is nothing new, we can look back to older renderings showing freaks, sometimes in tasteful ways.  Below we see Lazarus and Joannes Baptista.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Lazarus_and_Joannes_Baptista_Colloredo.jpg

Finally I leave you with Jo-Jo the dog faced boy.  Not a very nice name for this lad who served in side shows due to his abmornal hair growth on his face.  The problem is actually known as Hypertrichosis.  In minor forms it causes single abnormal hair growth on people even so that a person may have one abnormally long hair on their arm or leg, or a patch of long hairs. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Jeftichew-14.jpg

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20) – Your Taurian Jack-Russell terrier might share a star sign with George Clooney and Carmen Elektra, but he or she will seem far less attractive when becoming possessive of your belongings, especially those one of a kind, hand-stitched leather boots from crazy Aunt Mary.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) – It might be difficult to discern, but your Gemini pet snakes are feeling uncomfortable. Expect to clean the tank more frequently than usual and make sure you protect your sinuses from the smell.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) – Those Cancer born rabbits are going to be hopping this month. If they seem agitated to you, don’t worry about their health – it’s just bunny love in the air, although a colleague of mine swears its really because they are plotting a revolution.

Leo (July 23 – Aug 22) – Your Leo parrot gazes out of the window and dreams of blue skies and may be resentful of captivity, especially when it sees what you are doing to that poor, dead turkey when Thanksgiving arrives. If he or she is a bit cranky, don’t worry, eventually your bird will stop swearing at you and be grateful for all the treats you’ve been sneaking into its beak.

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22) – Virgo born horses may be suspicious of new riders this month ever since that kid you let ride him last month accidentally got chewing gum in your mare or stallion’s mane and ruined the hair-do.

Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 22) – You thought the whole point of having a Libra pet travel-agent was to get out to see the world, but he or she isn’t migrating and just won’t leave the house.

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21) – Hedgehogs born under the influence of Scorpio will be uncharacteristically soft and giving this month. Don’t let him or her loose by accident, or soft and giving could mean he or she is road kill.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21) – If your Sagittarian hamster seems bored, its because he or she is sick of running around in that wheel but can’t find anything better to do. Find him or her a cardboard box to chew on or something.

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19) – That Capricorn gerbil has got serious ambitions, he or she is entertaining dreams of being the first rodent to break the sound barrier for speed.

Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18) – If your Aquarian born monkey is being too Zen for comfort this month, you are right to be concerned. That college kid who lives down the street and is home for Thanksgiving and house sat for you that one time slipped him a “special” brownie. Look at the bright side, at least he won’t get riled enough to fling poo.

Pisces (Feb 19 – March 20) Your Piscean guinea pig is feeling drawn to exotic things and new experiences. When you take him out to clean the cage, make sure he is somewhere he can’t get out of the house, or he may run off to Venezuela to try and mate with a capybara.

Having a lovely time, here on holiday at Amityville-On-Sea.

I am sending you some photographs to show you how wonderful and exciting it is.

You were right when you said there are lots of interesting creatures to see, and fun things to do beside the sea.

I made a new friend called Tom and we were making sand castles today when out of the sand popped a dragon….

I haven’t seen Tom since to ask him if he likes dragons like I do, but some of the other kids and grown ups did not seem very keen.

In fact some ladies starting making a right fuss – shouting and yelling until they heard a horse galloping along the beach.

Lucky for them a knight, who just happened to be passing by, had heard the racket they were making and come to have a look what was going on.

He even had a Princess with him to hold his sword and shield

It didn’t do him any good though.

I think he must have not practised very hard with dragons before (like what I do on the violin) because he didn’t win the fight.

The dragon did.

Some cats came onto the beach and they must have frightened the dragon because it went back under the sand again.

Aunty Mavis would not let me stroke the cats. She said we had to keep out of the way because some men were coming in a van to shoo them away.

They should not have come at dinnertime cos that way they would not have got eaten.

Aunty Mavis only likes sunbathing so I think all this fun was getting on her nerves.

When a man came along asking if she wanted to buy any watches she shouted at him.

He had a really cool pet with him though.

But Aunty Mavis said it was a smelly old thing and that I couldn’t cuddle it.

She said she had wasted her suntan cream today, and that all the excitement had been too much and made her feel “proper pooped”

So she said it was time to go home, back to the Bed and Breakfast I was staying in with mummy and daddy.

When I told daddy about what a good day I had had he laughed and said I could spin a good yarn, but I really should not tell fibs otherwise he wouldn’t buy me the Jack-in-the-Box he had promised to get me tomorrow.

But you know its true grandma because you have seen the pics.

Wish you were here

Your loving grandson

Eric

Also by C. Jordan, you may like to read these

Amazing Discovery: Answers to the Secrets of Life Uncovered in Postcards

Saucy Seaside Postcards

Amazing Art: 10 Stunning Works of Sand Art

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20) – That Taurus electric toothbrush you use so frequently is having relationship issues with its worn out head. It is time for a separation and a renewal.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) – The Gemini decorative wooden spoon set that you use when good company is coming will attract a lot of positive attention from your friends. Don’t be too jealous as it is merely a spoon.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) – Any set of colored pencils born under the sign of Cancer this month will be feeling particularly creative and inspired. Make sure to check the walls for random markings when you wake up in the morning, as the moon will enhance their ambitions.

Leo (July 23 – Aug 22) – That two foot tall ceramic turkey bought under the sign of Leo will have its dreams fulfilled when you actually dig it out of the attic and use it as the center theme of your Thanksgiving decorations. Not even the cooked and edible turkey can poison its moment of glory.

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22) – The broken compass crafted long ago under the influence of Virgo will suddenly begin to work as its goals and purpose suddenly becomes clear.

Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 22) – The Libran linoleum is feeling optimistic but a bit scuffed this month and yearns for the touch of a mop.

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21) – Scorpion remote control cars will be restless this month and want to explore new vistas.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21) That Sagitarian i-pod you bought definitely has a mind of its own this month and will start creating its own playlists. Don’t worry though, it has good taste in music.

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19) The carefully crafted Capricorn leather jacket will hang harmoniously in the closet, enjoying the quiet company of the coat from Grandma that you never wear.

Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18) That huge Aquarian piece of driftwood you found last summer at the beach will experience a change of career as you re-assign its duties as colorful paperweight to highly effective door stop.

Pisces (Feb 19 – March 20) Those Piscean one size fits all slippers you bought will prove to be a faithful pair of one person footwarmers, shunning the attention of all other wearers but you.

Take the opportunity to clean under your couch cushions. Everyone expects at least one guy in the neighborhood to give out his loose change. It’s not a bad idea. Halloween pennies add up and the kid can go out and buy the candy of his or her choosing later.

Forage through your pantry. See that old can of beets that you know you’ll never eat? What about the eight hundred packages of Ramen that you’ve horded against the day that you run out of food? Packages of instant oatmeal are okay, too. You can also unload odd packages of spices for marinades you’ll never make. All those fast food packets of ketchup, mustard and soy sauce that have been languishing unloved in that refrigerator compartment reserved for eggs may finally experience some movement.

All those pairless socks in the bottom of your drawer have been suffering from loneliness for far too long. Throw one of those into that yawning pillowcase and tell the kid it’s a one of a kind sock puppet.