George Bush is a Doberman
Yes it has been found that our President Mr. George W. Bush is in fact a dog. A Doberman to be specific. He was found out one day when a intern fallowed him into the shower expecting to be able to blackmail our fine president with nude photos. This new development has shaken the media, and more will be known about it as we go.
Martha Stewart is a Terrorist
It was found out earlier this week that during Martha’s jail time she had become an avid member of Al Khaida. This was first noticed when on her third show after her release that in the fine print of one of her shows were the words “Burn the infidels.” After that incident she was quickly apprehended. Though she says that one of her interns did it as a joke. The trial is ongoing.
Micheal Jackson is Innocent
Thats right everyone!…I went there.
Neopian Drug Peddlers
It was found out some time ago by U.S. Officials that the popular children’s site www.neopets.com was putting ample amounts of cocaine in their plushies and shipping then to other countries. This came as a shock to many middle aged mothers who had been ripping the heads off these plushies and sniffing out the insides. The propriaters of Neopets are now in custody.
Pluto’s Right as a Planet Given to the Moon
That’s right everybody. First they declared Pluto was not a planet due to it’s size and orbit. Now they are saying the Moon IS a planet. No one seems to have any clue why ,but when the scientists where questioned on their decision all they said was “Cocaine is some serious —- dude.”
Chuck Norris Cult
It was reported earlier today that there was a group of people dressed as walker Texas ranger running amok in downtown L.A. These people were walking around chanting “Chuck Norris is God”. When they came to a heavily populated area they would break ranks and start beating the hell out of everyone in sight using Karate. They are yet to be apprehended.
Found the Cure to Cancer
Ya..that joke is really low.
Frogs to be the Next Dominant Species
A group of scientists sated earlier this month stated that they would make frogs the next dominant species. The president wrote it off a group of whack-o’s that we had no reason to worry abut. Then earlier this week it was reported hat large frogs were running around Boston, and now today there seems to be frogs up to two stories high creating havoc throughout the east coast.
Ebay is Going Bankrupt
This isn’t really a joke but more something that would amaze EVERYONE….I hate Ebay.
Wierd Al Yankovich Running for President
Mr. Weird Al stated earlier today that he was going to run for president. Politicians were outraged at this development, but if you ask this reporter I’d say it is just because they know they will lose.