10 Great Jokes

Published by in Humor
27th Feb 2011

 

apparently 90 % of women don’t fancy men who wear pink,

which is a bit of a coincidence as 90 %, of men who wear pink don’t fancy women.

 

2 Jews go to Manchester united’s home ground old trafford to by season tickets and the steward says “excuse me are you Jews “,  yes they replied, well I’m sorry but i cant sell you the tickets says the steward, well why not, because you have to be a complete knob to support united.

 

Why do scuba divers always fall backwards as they dive,

Because if they fall forward, they will fall into the boat.

 

Did you know that 69 % of people find something sexual in every sentence.

 

There’s a person running round London stabbing people with knitting needles,

There’s been 8 this week ,police think they are following a pattern.

Read more in Humor« Ten Chinese Fortune Cookies for Spring

 

I saw a golf buggy today parked in a disabled spot, i thought i wonder what his handicap is.

 

Them Germans are thick f*****s,i took them 5 years to find Anne frank’s house,i was only in Amsterdam 10 minuets and i found it, there are sign posts everywhere.

 

I caught my mate today with his dick in a lump of lard, the fat f**ker.

 

My mates got the best nickname in the world,shagger,we all think its great but she really hates it.

 

Why is it that when your wife gets pregnant, everyone goes up to her and rubs her tummy ,and says “ , congratulations”. No one goes up to the man rubs his dick and says “ well done “.