1. Al Gore’s first draft for his inauguration speech:
“My fellow American…”
2. Nazi Knock Knock Joke:
We will ask the questions!!!
3. What do you call a dog with no legs? Nothing. If you call him he won’t even be able to run to you.
4. Funny ways to answer the phone:
Hello, Thank you for calling Wal-Mart, the only store where price is high, and quality is low. How may I help you?
Hello, thank you for calling McDonalds, we really a…a…aaaaa (voice in the background)- “Someone call 911! This man on the phone is having a heart attack!!”
5. How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Depends, do they know where to screw it in?
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6. Why did the Nazi’s loose World War 2? Oh, I forgot. Blonde hair.
7. What do violas and the French Military have in common? They both need a lot more training.
8. So once upon a time, there was this Nazi…
9. A man’s final words before he was executed, “I really should’ve switched to Geico…”
10. A man goes to the doctor, and the doctor says “okay sir, I have some bad news and some worse news…The bad news is you have less than 24 hours to live…The worse news…I forgot to call you yesterday.” The man pulled out a gun and shot the doctor to his death. The man said “Alright…I’ve got some bad news and some worse news doc…The bad news is I have less than 24 hours to live…and the worse news…The next confession at my church is next week…”