10 Hilarious Things We Do When Drunk, and Then Some

Published by in Humor
2nd Sep 2011

Silly things that happen when you drink too much.

You know you’re drunk when

1)You forgot to open the door in the doorway you are walking through.

2)You think your mother in law actually likes you.

3)You find yourself watching any movie with Susan Sarandon(other than Thelma &Louise or Rocky Horror Picture Show)

4)You actually think Tommy Lee Jones is attractive.

5)You wake up, and then realize you are taking a shower.

6)You wake up on the living room floor with your head in the fireplace.

7)You made it into the bedroom, and decide the kitty letterbox will be a nice pillow.

8)You suddenly realize you forgot to take your pants down when you went to the bathroom to go pee.

9) You wake up and see the trendy new Mohawk that sounded like such a good idea earlier.

10) After the initial shock of 5,you think you’re singing voice in the shower is actually good.

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11)Just before 2am,you race down to 7/11 to get more beer, and upon running inside, Remember that 8 incident, and realize when you did take them off, you did not replace them.

12)You have locked yourself in the bathroom in your own house and must call 911 to get you out.

13)After 6,the house is dark and you make the usual journey to the bedroom, and after your head hits the coffee table, and you gain consciousness the second time you realize the earlier epiphany of rearranging the furniture wasn’t such a great one, and now you have a broken ankle.

14)You awake, and discover you are in the backyard, sleeping in Fido’s dog house, are in fact hugging the dog and his ass is in your face. And earlier when you were drunk and feeding him people food, you forgot that whenever you share with him he farts all night and into the next day, and you get to enjoy the horrendous smell of doggy flatulent.

15)During a brief moment of clarity, you realize you are actually stupid enough to be watching a San Diego Padres baseball game on T.V.,we are behind as usual, the score is 425 to 1 and it is only the second inning.

16){This one is really scary} You become aware that due to obvious bad judgment, you are actually AT A PADRES GAME, and you think the beer is good, and seven dollar beer is reasonable, remember taking out a small business loan just to finance the game ticket and the parking fee. If you ever find yourself in such a precarious situation, don’t panic too much, immediately seek a mental health professional.

17)You got down the stairs pretty quick, then remember you only took one step and now have a headache and bleeding nose.

18)One more thing; don’t get me wrong out there folks,Petco Park is beautiful, an amazing architectural piece, and a tremendous ballpark. Anyone who visits San Diego should go see it. It is certainly one of the best, just giving my Pads some crap. Baseball folks know what I’m talking about.