10 Things Guys Hate to Hear in Bed

First, let me assure you that I’m not going to bring this list down to the lowest common denominator with a bunch of mindless, idiotic, sexual references. If you want that kind of list, perhaps you should be reading such tripe somewhere else. So, without further adieu, a sensible list of 10 things guys hate to hear in bed:

  1. I’m telling you, I heard a noise downstairs.
  2. If you loved me, you’d get me a yogurt.
  3. If I die tomorrow, how many hours would it be before you started dating?
  4. If you die tomorrow, would it be okay if I had the cable guy over for dinner?
  5. Please tell me we still have collision coverage.
  6. When I say I’m eight days late, I don’t mean on credit card payments.
  7. How many days can I drive with the oil light on?
  8. Billy needs new “everything.”
  9. How would you feel about working a third job?
  10. Move your head, I can’t see Lettermen.

Okay, I couldn’t resist. So, shoot me.


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