1- The one upper- You know him, he is sitting in the snack room every Monday just waiting for someone to begin talking about their weekend adventure. He has done it all and done it better than any of you. You walk by talking with your buddy about the fishing, hunting or partying you did over the weekend. Somehow he “overhears” you and come running. Just as you finish up with the “and I told her, of course I will call”. He begins talking about how he picked up the Swedish Bikini Team a few weeks back, or he caught Moby Dick in a trout stream. It doesn’t matter, you will never do it better than him.

2- The eccesive Face Book Quoter- Look when mother Teresa said something it was motivational, when you place it as your “what on your mind” title on FB your an idiot. Seriously be original, if wanted a biblical lesson when I sign on to chat with my friends I would be at church instead. Sorry but seriously if I liked literature I would not have had to take eigth grade english twice.

3- That idiot that cuts me off in traffic every morning- What is the matter with you? Really man, I believe my life to be more valuable than having time to grab a breakfast sandwich from Mickey D’s. Have you ever thought about anyone but yourself or is it the rush of taking advantage of passive drivers? get your head out of your… and realize that the road is not yours.

4- The excessive laugher- Everything you say is not a punch line. It is truly not funny when you tell you story about picking up after you dog. Well yes that is, the fact that you work for your dog is pretty funny but seriously. Are you really that happy? If you are more power to you but you are not spreading cheer all your are doing is enraging me on the inside to the point that my therapist does not think is healthy.

5- Mediocrity celebrators- Really, Timmy got a C? Way to go, now when he gets his job serving me Big Macs you can help him by a 1980 Pinto. Why is it that everyone gets a trophy these days. I mean they are not all winners and most of them sat on the bench so we say “way to go, you showed up”! I hope for their sake that they find jobs in life that give them a paycheck for doing nothing as well because this is what they are being conditioned to.