10 Ways to Annoy People in The Drive-thru

Published by in Humor
4th Jul 2010
  1. Get right on their bumper: The idiot in front of you, the one who is going through the drive-thru and ordering $500 worth of dollar burgers, yeah, that idiot. I’m talking about him. Get right on his bumper. Mere inches away. Every time he moves forward a notch, you move forward a notch. But tread carefully, especially if you don’t have good insurance.
  2. Play your music: Loud. I mean really loud. This one is especially effective if you are following tip number one above. After all, other people are always interested in what type of music you like. For best results, pick some death metal tunes or some hip hop with a really strong base line. Or you can opt for the freak-out and try something totally unexpected, maybe something from The Sound of Music, or something potentially offensive like the soundtrack to Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny or Team America; lots of good cursing in those last two.
  3. Don’t forget it’s “to go:” The person on the other end of that speaker, the one where you give your order, usually isn’t all that bright. Sometimes they’re barely there at all. Give them a little reminder by telling them over the speaker, and again when you get to the window, that your order is to go. They’ll love you for that one.
  4. Just ask for water: Or maybe a cup of ice. Make sure you don’t order anything. And tell them it’s for your dog, who is thirsty. But don’t have a dog in the vehicle with you. This one will really get their attention if you have a car full of people, and if you’ve had to wait for a long time before putting in your order.
  5. Place a big order, then leave: I’m talking a huge order. 50 burgers. 20 fries. 20 shakes. A couple dozen soft drinks. Maybe throw in a few ice creams or something. Then when your vehicle is the next to last one to approach the window where you pay, speed out of the line and squeal your tires getting out of the parking lot. This will screw up everybody from those behind the register to the folks in line after you. A classic.
  6. Order breakfast at odd hours: Ask for eggs at midnight. Or a sausage biscuit, five minutes after they stop serving breakfast. Their eyes will roll. But secretly they will love you. They’re just showing off for their friends.
  7. Ask for everything on the side: Tell the order taker you want a cheeseburger with lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions and everything else they have for burgers, but you want everything on the side in a separate container. Actually, this sort of makes sense because it will keep the vegetables from becoming wilted. Don’t worry. The restaurant folks will understand. The customer’s always right, after all.
  8. Order stuff they don’t have: If you’re going through the drive-thru at a burger joint, ask for a dozen tacos. If you’re at a taco joint, ask for a bucket of fried chicken, extra crispy. You get the idea. For extra fun, insist upon Pepsi products if they only serve Coke, and vice versa. This one always helps to build server satisfaction because they know you’re just trying to keep them on their toes.
  9. Talk really loudly: This one works best if your car is full of friends, but you can also pull it off if you talk really loudly into a cell phone. For an added tweak, talk to other people in your car or over your cell while also giving your order. Then do it again while paying and receiving your food. No, they won’t spit in your food. They’ll love you for bringing extra fun to their day.
  10. Ask for extra condiments: Lots of condiments. You’ll want at least 20 or 30 ketchup packets. Maybe 10 or more salt and pepper packets. Don’t forget the mustard and mayonnaise. And plastic spoons! Can’t forget those. For added fun, keep asking for lots and lots of ketchup, but make sure you didn’t order any french fries.

More annoying links

10 reasons there ought to be a Constitutional amendment banning flip flops

Rant: 10 people at the grocery store who make me hate

  • Anuradha Ramkumar

    Ha ha ha…I enjoyed reading it…but will not dare to do it as I know how I would feel when I’m on the other side. I was initially working as a customer service officer.

  • zoeyclark

    this is so much fun!!!! Of course you don’t guarantee the readers’ safety if they decide to apply this stuff;))) Hilarious, J. Totally hilarious. Stumbling it up!

  • jharmon

    Thanks, Zoey!

  • Brenda Nelson

    Funny.. but if you have ever worked in the service industry you would not think it so funny

  • jharmon

    B, I’ve been there. The article was meant to be satirical more than anything, but it might not come off that way.

  • Videomark

    Very funny stuff. Also ask them if the food is fresh.

  • Yalonda

    I used to work as a waitress, and I hated when people would pull crap like making a big order and then not come and pay for it. It was considered a drive off on the waitress’ time, and it would be deducted from our pay. And since we were only getting minimum wage anyway, that certainly didn’t help the paycheck.

  • Jewelstar

    I always put myself in that shoes before any of my actions. So no annoying anyone though its for fun.

  • starrleena magic

    That was funny, especially the one where you say to ask for lots of ketchup, but make sure you didn’t order fries. Also I liked where you said to ask for a cup of water/ice and tell them its for your dog, and the dog isn’t in the car.

  • soapgirl

    I was amused even if everyone else wasn’t. Guess some people have lost their sense of humor. Don’t think I’d actually dare to do any of these. Maybe the dog could be invisible since I thought of Murdock from The A Team and his invisible dog Billy when I read that part about asking for water for a dog that isn’t in the car.

  • LiteraryPrincess

    I wanted to click on the Loved it button, but I couldn’t find one, so I settled for the Liked it button. This made me laugh, and I loved all of them, but #3 was my favorite.

  • I Have Had Enough

    Oh, you are playing with fire here, my friend. I’m still waiting for the day that the term, “they went postal”, is replaced with, “They went restaurantal”. It makes sense; food industry workers take so much crap, and they already have an arsenal of weapons at their disposal. Melee weapons (knives, forks, pots and pans), napalm (Hot oil and sugar), chemical weapons (Bleach, the house sauce) and bacterial weapons (Spitting in your food, undercooking it, or serving you 3 week old chicken) for the more stealthy attack.

  • Ruby Hawk

    Shame on you. That isn’t funny, These people work to make a living.

  • Mrjaialai

    I love It! Nice share and I will have rememeber this stuff the next time I go to the drive-thru and in the mood to mess with people.

    LOL

    http://connecticutjaialai.ning.com

  • V rank

    Good thing I don’t easily get annoyed… hehehe…

  • J.L. Eck

    I want my cheeseburger plain with the cheese and pickles and other toppings on the side. And could you cut that in half? Oh, and I want the burger rare the toppings well done. And don’t spit on my food, either!

  • SharifaMcFarlane

    You have to have a good sense of humor to work in the fast food industry.

  • K.D. Storm

    Hmmmm! Now you have given me one more thing to do this weekend LMAO!

  • sasuke191

    Haha!… Interesting stuff to do!!.. &&&&

  • Tremell Datoine

    Hilarious! I’m tweeting this article (Twitter.com/Datoineblaze)

  • AgileWriter

    Lol! This is funny stuff. Good work!

  • Blackbeauty

    I think you’ve been behind me a time or two!(LOL)

  • Netty net

    This night be funny in the movies or television, but I personality think some of would be consider will a little rude for my taste,

  • Belinda Dobie

    ‘place big order then leave’ actually there are rules in place for this. If an order seems too large the drive thru operator is to inform the customer to place his/her order inside the store. Apparently they can refuse to take the order otherwise.

    ”ask for extra condiments’ There’s a rule for that too. If a customer asks for more than they are given they are charged per packet.

    These apply to most fast food restaurants in both Georgia and South Carolina USA :-)

    The others are pretty funny :-)

  • babygirl3605

    None of these annoy me. I am normaly the person on the other side and have had to do all of these. Most people want everything on the side because they are on diets. Great article.

  • cobaltinee

    Nice tips and thoughts. Keep it up!

  • Poo in Love

    Ha ha ha !!!
    Thank you for the tips

  • ShadowPsychos

    hahaha i love it – classic :D

  • Ralph Brandt

    This might be funny if it were not that this causes problems for people who really need to get through the drive thru.

    CRASS.

  • Amanda Joy

    I’d like to suggest that idea #5 be taken off this menu of annoyances. It’s mean. I prefer to make fun of myself, so I’ll take a #3, with fries.

  • Demerara Lady

    i think i can come up with some ways to annoy people too
    however, is it a nice thing to do?

  • BriannaMorgan

    I really enjoyed reading that. I really made me laugh, love it :)

  • usctrojanfan777

    Haha, this is so funny although i think some of these are just so obnoxious that i would never do them

  • Denis Liang

    that ice thinf, you might just get away with a free meal, if you’ve seen some youtube videos about how to get free mcdonalds food and stuff

  • clickmarbin

    its really hilarious !

  • Zhrz

    some are obnoxious but the rest are really funny, I will need to try these!

    Great stuff.

  • hiperspot01

    is very funny actually, beacuse i showed up to some friends that
    went to a drive thru
    and said that those incidents had ocurred

  • Zoey7879

    ROFL

    You forgot one:

    “Return your job application through the DTW @ Dinner/Lunch Rush”.

    Yknow, cause nothing says “I Want a Job” more than being too lazy to walk the application back up to the counter ;)

  • Jo N

    oh this was hilarious!

  • kns1992

    Hahaha this is great!

  • jioges

    That’s pretty funny, in fact I would even say it’s hilarious at points ; )
    http://hilariousarticles.webs.com/

  • urworstnitemare

    I worked the drive thru and had ways of dealing with people who’d try to do this ish with me. If they ordered only water – I’d charge for it. If they asked for more than 4 condiments I started charging them for the extras. I once had this car full of dumbass teens try to have some fun with me, (she was intentionally indecisive) “I want a medium fry, no a large, no a medium”…so you know what I did to that bitch? I put her ass on ignore and let her sit in the drive way talking to herself and acting a fool until she realized I wasn’t taking her order. It was pretty funny when she started saying “helloooo” until she had no choice but to pull up, and guess what? i wasn’t at my window to greet her, so she had to drive off without any food. As a wise man once said “I don’t play dat”