100 Things You Could Have Done Instead of Reading This Article

Published by in Humor
6th Jan 2011

The idea of writing down much of my thoughts has come to my mind a lot of times lately (pun not intended). I ended up grabbing my pen a lot of times only to find myself stumped after 4 to 5 words. After finding out I was running out of paper fast this way, I retried on my computer with no success. Until today (I hope)… I give you: 100 things you could have done instead of reading this article.

I invite everyone to contribute by adding “things-you-could-have-done” in the comment section below.

You could have…

1) gone to a page that actually contained an article.
2) played a flash game (but you’re probably already doing that).
3) trained your cat to say: I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER
4) trained your dog to eat someone’s trained cat.
5) bought a dog or cat if you didn’t have one at step 3 or 4, or lost one because of step 4.
6) rickrolled 100 people.
7) applied Godwin’s law.
8 ) installed FreeBSD.
9) or not.
10) spammed YouTube.
11) spammed Facebook.
12) spammed Twitter.
13) spammed Counter Strike: Source.
14) spammed on a video of someone spamming on Counter Strike: Source on YouTube.
15) eaten a hamburger.. or two. I really don’t care.
16) made amateur cliché photos of yourself using a mirror and your phone.
17) stopped playing WoW for just a second. Seriously.
18) gone straight to 81 or something.
19) watched “The Horribly Slow Murder with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon” on YouTube.
20) Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
21) fapped to Hentai (you sick bastard).
22) gone to this page:
23) googled random words.
24) postfixed “in bed” to every sentence possible.
25) converted to Pastafarianism.
26) realized that point 27 is true in bed.
27) realized that point 26 is false.
28) pressed Alt + F4.
29) pressed Shift + Command + W for Mac users.
30) repeated step 15 9001 times. (Hint, hint.)
31) gone back under your bridge, troll.
32) gone to 64.
33) not played a tabletop board game in bed.
34) watched this.
35) been eaten by a grue back there.
36) installed Linux on a .
37) written yet another song about rainbows.
38) made a game based on a movie.
39) hired two private detectives to follow each other.
40) made a movie based on before mentioned game.
41) taken a break from all this reading, you might want to shut down your computer in the process.
42) done 38 the Uwe Boll way.
43) never give me up.
44) never let me down (in bed).
45) learned Japanese.
46) learned Dutch (I challenge you).
47) postfixed every sentence with “except in bed” where possible.
48) built a time machine.
49) skipped the previous when in Russia; in Russia time machines build you. 
50) written a computer program to automatically generate a shortest path by using a tile-based check with a graph-based path-finding algorithm, storing the pointers to the points in a look up table to analyze if there are paths that do not lead you from your starting point to the exit point (and scrapping them in the progress) then do some calculating on the lengths of the graphs to determine the shortest path for any solvable maze-puzzle.
51) gotten a .
52) celebrated your birthday. (If you were born on this date.)
53) celebrated someone else’s birthday. (If he/she was born on this date.)
54) shot a bear.
55) become horrified.
56) vomited because of all the bull crap in this so-called article.
57) survived.
58)  some more.
59) become aware of the truth.
60) ed.
61) watched Sesame Street.
62) gone to bed, since Sesame Street is obviously over.
63) gone to 64.
64) gone to 63.
65) printed this page.
67) noticed that I skipped 66.
68) watched Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo.
69) gone back to 1, for no particular reason.
70) pressed Control + Down when on Windows.
71) gone cray-zee.
72) gone Ninja.
73) minded the gap up ahead.
81) gone back to 32.
82) written this article for me, ’cause I tend to be lazy.
83) lost The Game.
84) *omitted because of lazyness*
85) *omitted because of laziness*
86) written down the factorial of 100. (Which, just for the notice, is equal to 93326215443944152681699238856266700490715968264381621468592963895217599993229915608941463976156518286253697920827223758251185210916864000000000000000000000000)
87) James while John had had had had had had had had had had had a better effect on the teacher.
88) Wouldn’t the sentence “I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish and And and And and Chips in my Fish-And-Chips sign” have been clearer if quotation marks had been placed before Fish, and between Fish and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and Chips, as well as after Chips?
89) your mother.
90) converted to , if 25 did not appeal to you.
91) filled this spot.
92) -This spot is for sale.-
93) another beer.
94) get pwnd by .
95) get pwnd .
96) get pwnd .
97) sent me ideas about what to place.
98) because I’m definitely out of ideas.
99) Seriously.
100) just skipped this page to see the comments.