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100 Ways to Annoy Your Boss

Published by jharmon in Humor
July 25th, 2010

Really want to stick it to your boss? Or perhaps you just want to freak him out a little. Maybe you are at a loss for ideas. If so, this list will give you 100 things to do to really annoy your boss at work.

  1. Be late to work.
  2. Or show up really early, even before your boss gets there. Meet him or her at the door and say “Sheesh! I’ve been waiting for you to get here.”
  3. Have an office romance.
  4. With your boss’s spouse.
  5. Anytime you’re told to do something you don’t want to do, say, “It’s against my religion.”
  6. If asked what your religion is, say, “I’m a Satanist.”
  7. Friend your boss on Facebook, then talk trash about where you work.
  8. Park your vehicle in your boss’s parking space.
  9. Pour a bag of tacks in your boss’s parking space.
  10. Leave a paper bag full of dog poo in your boss’s parking space.
  11. Always leave up Solitaire on your computer screen at work.
  12. Or Twitter.
  13. Show up late to meetings.
  14. When told to do something concerning company money, say, “Sure.” Then go off grumbling about how awful your credit score is.
  15. Hoard office supplies, and make it obvious. Keep pads of paper on your desk. Boxes and boxes of pens and paper clips, too.
  16. Read a novel at your desk.
  17. Read a romance novel at your desk. And cry a lot.
  18. If you have to wear a name tag, but something like “Krgyzkktq” on the tag.
  19. When asked about that weird name on your name tag, say, “That’s my Klingon religious name.”
  20. Speak in a foreign language at work. Often. It’ll make the boss feel insecure, especially if it’s a language he or she doesn’t know.
  21. Always take credit for your boss’s ideas.
  22. Whenever you know corporate officers are going to be stopping by the office, make sure to have a big cake at work with the word “Welcome!” on it.
  23. Balloons and party hats are nice, too.
  24. Take lots and lots of bathroom breaks.
  25. Without leaving your desk.
  26. Cover your desk in plants. Make it a jungle!
  27. On “Bring Your Kid to Work Day,” bring your dog.
  28. On “Bring Your Kid to Work Day,” bring somebody else’s kids.
  29. On “Bring Your Kid to Work Day,” bring a hooker.
  30. At office parties, sit quietly in a corner without a drink and glare at your boss all evening.
  31. Hang out at Human Resources. A lot. It’ll make the boss nervous.
  32. Become best friends with your boss’s boss.
  33. Throw a big party, and make sure to tell everyone about it at work. Everyone, that is, but your boss.
  34. Keep a large bag of fireworks stuffed under your desk, but make sure it’s visible to anyone walking by.
  35. If you work in a cubicle, hum a lot.
  36. If you work in a cubicle, talk to yourself in funny voices. Something demonic. Or maybe like a Muppet.
  37. Wear a puppet on one hand at work and let it do all your talking for you.
  38. Call for an office meeting, then when everyone shows up, say, “Now why are we all here?”
  39. Make your own Batman utility belt. Have a big flashlight on it, and maybe one of those multi-tools that has everything on it. A yo-yo will look great, too. Wear this belt at the office. All day.
  40. Anytime your boss or anyone else at work starts talking about some TV show, immediately jump in and say, “I don’t watch TV.” For added effect, then walk briskly out of the room.
  41. Wear glasses rims with no glass in them.
  42. If you work in an office, chew tobacco at work.
  43. And spit on the floor.
  44. When you leave the restroom, make sure a string of toilet paper at least three feet long is hanging down the back of your leg.
  45. If you work indoors, wear sunglasses all day. Preferably the kind with mirrored lenses.
  46. If you can afford it or pull it off somehow, drive to work a vehicle much more expensive than that of your boss.
  47. Suck on lollipops all the time.
  48. Go to a hunting goods store and by some deer attractor, the kind that reeks of urine (and might even possibly be made from urine). Then spray it around the door to your boss’s office.
  49. You’ll need heavy gloves and a mask for this one. The next time you see a dead skunk on the road, pick it up and take it to work. Place it right outside the window to your boss’s office.
  50. Bring a ton of Lego pieces to work and spend your day building giant skyscrapers on your desk.
  51. Go to the fax machine. A lot. Like a hundred times a day. If you don’t have a reason to fax anything, just pick a number and start dialing.
  52. Open several small containers of milk, then place them in secret spaces around the office. The smell should hit everyone in a couple of days.
  53. In summer, turn off the air conditioner. Keep turning it off every time someone turns it back on.
  54. In winter, do the opposite. You know, turn off the heat.
  55. Wear thick, heavy winter clothes to the office. All day. In summer.
  56. In the winter, wear shorts and a T-shirt to work.
  57. If you work in an office, dress like you work on a construction job. Boots. Jeans. Hard hat. Tool belt. You get the picture.
  58. If you work on a construction job, dress like you work in an office. Jacket. Tie. Nice shoes. You get the picture.
  59. Talk in a robot voice all the time, or at least when your boss is talking to you.
  60. Call your boss “master” in an evil voice. Then bend over as if you’re a hunchback and rub your hands together.
  61. If the boss sends you out to get his or her lunch, buy crap they absolutely hate. Or at least get their order wrong. For example, f your boss hates mustard on burgers, slather his or her burger with tons of mustard.
  62. Carry a pen in each hand and drum on everyone’s desk as you pass by.
  63. TYPE ALL CORRESPONDENCE TO YOUR BOSS IN UPPERCASE.
  64. When talking to your boss, never, ever break eye contact.
  65. Wear a lot of perfume or cologne.
  66. Whenever you need days off, wait until the day before to ask.
  67. Come out of the bathroom wearing different clothes than what you had going in.
  68. Wear a shirt with a great big stain on it to work.
  69. Leave your fly unbuttoned. All the time.
  70. Become best friends with your boss’s spouse.
  71. Date one of your boss’s kids. But only if the kid is old enough, of course.
  72. Hire a strip-o-gram singer to come to your boss’s office.
  73. And make sure it’s not the boss’s birthday.
  74. Leave mysterious notes around the office. Notes that mention UFOs and big foot. But don’t be an idiot and use your own handwriting.
  75. Write a novel. At work.
  76. Keep a radio at your desk and turn the music up really loud.
  77. Buy a ton of those little plastic protectors for electrical outlets, then go around filling all the electrical outlets in your office with the protectors.
  78. Buy a box of rat poison. Throw away the rat poison. Then leave the empty box sitting with the sugar and other supplies in the coffee room.
  79. Pick a topic. Any topic. Then never, ever stop talking about it. Always find a way to work it into any conversation. Need ideas? Here are a few: Monkeys, the black plague, stolen auto parts, the literary works of Leo Tolstoy, your pet, Star Wars. You get the idea.
  80. At least once a day, loudly ask one of your co-workers “If I get fired, can I still collect unemployment?”
  81. Wear a Star Wars storm trooper costume to a company party.
  82. Then act like a storm trooper. “Hey, move along there! Those aren’t the drinks you’re looking for!”
  83. Call everyone a “dude.” Especially your boss.
  84. If you’re a guy, wear your tie backwards.
  85. If you’re a gal, wear really long dresses, like from the 19th century.
  86. If you’re a guy, wear lots of eyeliner.
  87. If you’re a gal, never wear makeup. Of any kind.
  88. Use fake curse words like bastich and frag and dern. At the least, you’ll get some curious looks.
  89. Buy the company.
  90. Or at least talk as if you’re going to.
  91. Buy or “collect” a bunch of orange traffic cones. Block off your boss’s parking spot with the cones.
  92. Or better yet, if you work in an office, use orange traffic cones to block off the restrooms. All of them.
  93. Wear clothes that are colored hunter orange.
  94. Repeat everything your boss says right after he says it.
  95. Whenever your boss tells you to do something, say, “I’ll talk to my attorney and get back to you about that.”
  96. Chew on toothpicks. All the time.
  97. If you’re a guy, wait until you get to work to shave. At your desk.
  98. If you’re a gal, shave your legs at your desk.
  99. Talk about unions. A lot. The boss will really love that one.
  100. Talk about unions. A lot. The boss will really love that one. Or repeat everything you say twice.

More annoying links

10 ways to annoy people at the office

10 ways to annoy people in the drive-thru

10 people at the grocery store who make me hate

23
Liked it
33 Comments
  1. Posted July 25, 2010 at 3:43 pm

    LOL THATS FUNNNNY

  2. Posted July 25, 2010 at 3:43 pm

    jup it up the hc list

  3. Posted July 25, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    jump up the hc list

  4. Posted July 25, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    Chuckles. Great humor.

  5. Posted July 25, 2010 at 9:14 pm

    without them looking turn off their coffee machine at every chance…

  6. Posted July 25, 2010 at 11:20 pm

    These are really funny…I would love to try some of them.

  7. Posted July 26, 2010 at 8:41 am

    Lol! Funny… love this. :-)

  8. Posted July 26, 2010 at 8:42 am

    I wonder if you wrote this in one sitting. Curious. *winks*

  9. Posted July 26, 2010 at 9:07 am

    Rhodora, it took me three sittings. Between meetings.

  10. Posted July 26, 2010 at 9:55 am

    haha! This is very funny!

  11. Posted July 26, 2010 at 10:35 am

    Why annoyng? Good posts!

    http://healthmad.com/health/causes-and-treatment-about-bad-breath/

  12. Posted July 26, 2010 at 11:18 am

    haha good stuff, look at mine!

  13. Posted July 26, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    haha nice one. Hope this gets to the top of the hot content list

  14. Posted July 26, 2010 at 3:51 pm

    This is funny.

  15. Posted July 26, 2010 at 6:11 pm

    That is very funny

  16. Posted July 26, 2010 at 9:19 pm

    funny list but I think it should be changed to 100 ways to get fired haha

  17. Posted July 27, 2010 at 10:28 am

    This was funny but wouldn’t advise doing it if you want to keep your job.An annoyed boss inst known for a sense of humor.

  18. Posted July 27, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    :) cant stop laughing man!!!

  19. Posted July 27, 2010 at 9:02 pm

    Oh man, that was extremely funny! Could not stop rolling on the floor laughing, imagining how would the face of the boss be!!!

    Hope nobody exercises this! :)

  20. Posted July 27, 2010 at 11:05 pm

    i don’t wanna do that if still need work at there,but sometimes i will try it.

  21. Posted July 28, 2010 at 3:49 am

    lol

  22. Posted July 28, 2010 at 9:51 am

    Oh God. At times you really feel to do all that. But thinking that you have to face him everyday, will it be wise? But no doubt a good one.

  23. Posted July 28, 2010 at 11:47 am

    good post

  24. Posted July 29, 2010 at 2:27 am

    lol.. funny.. p.s. i always wanted to learn the kling on language.. i am a trekkie fan.. hee hee

  25. Posted July 29, 2010 at 5:47 am

    LMAO!

    Thanks for sharing, this really made my day. I look forward to reading more of your work.

  26. Posted July 29, 2010 at 8:57 am

    This is a super cool list JHarmon although not practical !

  27. Posted July 29, 2010 at 10:41 am

    oh my, yes these will surely gets me fired! :-)

  28. Posted July 30, 2010 at 12:01 am

    Lol..Amazing man!! This list is simply awesome. I’d consider adopting some points from these, whenever I plan to leave this job.. ;) .. Thanks for sharing!!!

  29. Posted July 30, 2010 at 10:01 pm

    Will if job is to get fired then go a head and do some of them, I find some of them funny, also I think some of them are down right impolite.

  30. Posted July 30, 2010 at 10:16 pm

    hmmm… I’m considering to doing these to my boss… hehehe…

  31. Posted July 30, 2010 at 11:16 pm

    buy the company lol haha

  32. Posted August 3, 2010 at 1:43 am

    Very naughty….

  33. DD1
    Posted August 17, 2010 at 6:28 am

    Very amusing! List of things many of us would daydream about doing when our boss pisses us off!

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