101 Ways to Kill Your Computer

Published by in Humor
3rd Aug 2009
  1. install windows vista.
  2. over-volt from V to V.
  3. rely on limewire for all your music and videos.
  4. kick computer.
  5. pee on computer.
  6. jam cooling fan on CPU.
  7. spread orange marmalade on the CPU.
  8. search for “virus” on limewire.
  9. click on an ad on “lemonparty.org”.
  10. smash computer with a hammer.
  11. B!%$H slap the computer.
  12. dump diet coke on computer.
  13. drop computer from a tall building.
  14. attempt to lick hard drive with cover removed.
  15. jam pancake into CD drive.
  16. insert floppy disk into drive, then restart computer.
  17. remove power cable from hard drive while installing somthing.
  18. remove CPU heatsink while power is on.
  19. re-format over the boot sector.
  20. pour shampoo on the electrical socket computer is connected to.
  21. stick screw driver into PCI or AGP slot.
  22. turn computer on and off right after windows loads, then repeat times
  23. infinity.
  24. boot computer with CMOS jumper in “CLEAR” mode.
  25. short the power supply.
  26. delete files from the system folder.
  27. insert a PCI card into PCI-E slot and power computer up.
  28. immerse chassis in motor oil.
  29. attempt to make out with computer.
  30. stab power strip computer is connected to with a fork.
  31. tell computer “your mom” jokes.
  32. run prime for days in a row..
  33. make a ghetto watercooling system.
  34. tell computer it is FAT (lol.
  35. use a peltier without insulation.
  36. make a ghetto refrigeration cooler.
  37. pick computer exactally . feet of of ground and tilt at a degree
  38. angle, and drop.
  39. hire chuck norris to stare down computer.
  40. download zango products.
  41. break fan on CPU and chassis.
  42. overclock the BIOS.
  43. pour orange juice on the motherboard.
  44. remove every possible heatsink in computer.
  45. run computer outside in degree weather WHILE running prime.
  46. take a dump in the computer case.
  47. use duct tape as a thermal conductor.
  48. wrap hard drive in aluminum foil and power it up.
  49. overload system memory with popup ads.
  50. attempt to “ask out” computer.
  51. place computer in a high energy electrical feild.
  52. place metal shaveings infront of intake fan.
  53. smash hard drive with a stick.
  54. downgrade from windows XP to windows vista.
  55. insert floppy disk into CD drive.
  56. remove a capacitor from motherboard and power computer up.
  57. send computer to jail for being too slow.
  58. get upgrades and parts from ebay.
  59. scrape surface mount resistors off with a spatula.
  60. hire steve-o to lick high voltage components in power supply.
  61. send computer to mythbusters for use in experiment..
  62. mod computer with magnets.
  63. attempt to cool CPU with ice on the heatsink.
  64. place pringles in CD drive.
  65. overclock network card.
  66. buy parts with rebates.
  67. mod computer chassis with a dremel while leaving motherboard and
  68. other components in case.
  69. insert cardboard box into floppy drive
  70. attempt to mod a PC to be a MAC.
  71. press CTRL + ALT + DEL during formatting process.
  72. attempt intercorse with CPU fan. (Vic suggested this one.. ROFL
  73. attempt to pirate movies at starbucks with computer.
  74. call computer a nerd.
  75. throw computer at wall.
  76. remove system memory while installing a program.
  77. sell computer to terrorists.
  78. remove northbridge chip with a chisel.
  79. use metal chassis as a negitive/neutral conductor AND a +V conductor.
  80. mod computer with happy bunny stickers.
  81. paint computer case pink.
  82. play paintball with computer.
  83. try to re-flash BIOS with a camera.
  84. take computer scuba diving.
  85. let an automotive mechanic install new RAM.
  86. tighten motherboard mounting screws with a power drill.
  87. switch power supply input voltage from VAC to VAC.
  88. enter computer in a boxing match.
  89. download so much stuff that computer just melts.
  90. attempt to take computer through airport security.
  91. put hard drive in microwave.
  92. power up computer with CPU half inserted into socket.
  93. take computer to rib/BBQ cook out.
  94. try giveing computer applesauce.
  95. tell computer it EPIC FAILS.
  96. nuke computer.
  97. unplug every connector in computer and put chewing gum in the
  98. connectors, then re-connect.
  99. submerse computer in mineral oil (one huge mess
  100. “wipe” hard drive with a sponge.
  101. remove every component and donate to goodwill.
  102. donate computer to local food bank.
  103. use ’s era computer for cancer research.
  104. run computer with reset button permanently pushed in.
  105. call tech support.

  • Scott Evans

    Some of those were very clever lol

  • Rita H

    didn’t believe it REALLY was 101!! thought it was a title of a witty story… lol too much time on your hands!! lmao!!