11 Things That Socially Awkward People Dread

Published by in Humor
1st Apr 2015

Mistaking Somebody for Someone Else

 

So, you’re walking down a corridor and you notice a bunch of people, standing ’round, having a chat and, oh, wait, there’s your buddy! Wait, why would she be talking to a bunch of people that you’ve never seen before in your life? Oh, come on, self-centred much?! She’s allowed friends outside of you, you know.

So, over you go, arms braced for a surprise hug – some say: the best kind of hug. Ironically, however, the surprise is on you, when you discover that you just wrapped your arms around a complete stranger. Smooth. As the poor, unsuspecting girl turns around to face the creep that just grabbed her in public, you start to wonder just how you’re going to go about explaining this. Well, for a start, letting go of her would probably be a good way to go from here.

Okay, she looks seriously creeped out, and none of her friends look particularly impressed, either. Oh, God, I really hope that one of these dudes isn’t her boyfriend. Why can’t you just say “hi” like a normal person?! That would’ve been awkward enough! Okay, you really need to provide some kind of explanation…um…okay, screw it! Just yell “tag!” and run! Outrun the awkwardness!

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Small Talk

 

So, you’re at a party and the host decides to introduce you to one of his other friends. However, before he can actually get the ball rolling, he’s called to the aid of the obligatory “starts throwing up before half the people have arrived” guest. So, while he’s busy trying to protect the Persian rug from projectile vomit, you’re left with the even more daunting task of making conversation with a complete stranger. I mean, you can’t just walk away.

So…what to do? Ooh, ask him what his interests are. Motorbikes, huh? Oh, that’s so funny because…you know absolutely nothing about motorbikes. Okay, well, you can’t just say nothing; you’re the one who asked! Um…oh, there was that time when you got on the back of your friend’s motorbike and rode down the street, before your friend had to stop so you could get off and throw up on the curb. Yeah, tell him that! Okay…maybe you should’ve just skipped over motorbikes. Okay, what else does he like? Cars. Okay, what do you know about cars…only that this conversation is a total car crash.