15 Reasons Why Elephants Should be in the Fire Brigade

Published by in Humor
22nd Jul 2009

It occurred to me the other day just how useful elephants would be if they were in the fire brigade. Personally, I am surprised they are not already in use and also a little shocked. So I write this article to spread the word….anyone for a petition??

  1. They have a natural hose.
  2. They are tall so can reach up to pluck cats from trees
  3. Their trunks are dextrous so can curl around people in burning buildings and pull them to safety
  4. They are big so could just stand under second story windows and people can jump down easily
  5. No need for a fire engine, the fire fighters can all just jump on the back
  6. Elephants make a trumpeting sound so no need for a siren.
  7. No cars are going stay in the way of a stampeding elephant!
  8. They are very strong so can easily lift things (for example in traffic accidents caused by a stampeding elephant).
  9. Could wear a very large hat and be the mascot (it’d certainly be unique)
  10. Good for public image (apart from the stampeding) as kids would love it!
  11. They are used to heat, coming from hot countries
  12. Petrol prices are so high right now and peanuts are cheap.
  13. Volunteers would come in to do all the caring for it as it’d be a great novelty (forget spending a day at the stables!)
  14. It’d give back to the community in fertiliser (no farms? convert a generator to work off methane and you have bundles of free energy…a great saver)
  15. Increase in revenue in the whole town as a tourist attraction!

Hopefully from this you can see why YOUR town needs to add an elephant to it’s fire brigade…plus they’re just so darn cute.

  • Ardel

    Another Classic. Really nice work. This is definetly a nice budget cut right here while increasing optimum efficiency.

  • Ben Way

    Costs peanuts to run an elephant, awesome! lol.