15 Things Not to Say to a Cop

Published by in Humor
5th Jun 2009
  1. I swear to drunk that i am not god
  2. Have you been eating jelly donuts your eyes are a little glazed
  3. Can you take me drunk I’m a little home
  4. Did you know there were trees in the middle of the road (no trees were actually in the road)
  5. I can’t get out you get in
  6. Am I glad to see you, I could’ve killed someone
  7. Can you hold my beer for a moment I have to find my license
  8. I’m not drunk I’m wasted
  9. What do you mean have I been drinking, Your the trained specialist.
  10. What exactly is legally drunk
  11. No officer the last cop took my last beer
  12. Yes officer I drank some water and soda and oh a beer
  13. When he ask do you know why i pulled you over don’t say no I thought that was your job
  14. Are you giving me a ticket to the Policeman’s Ball? Cop says Tennessee Cops don’t have balls.. Sit there in ackward silence he’ll glow red and walk away (hopefully).
  15. I think i’ve seen you somewhere oh yea Reno 911!

  • Nikita K

    Haha, a few absolutely hilarious ones indeed!
    Good stuff!

  • thestickman

    “Am I aware that a speeding car is a weapon? Yes, -I suppose but it’s not as accurate as the one I carry under the front seat…”