WARNING: ANY OF THESE THINGS MIGHT GET YOU KICKED OUT OF THE PARK, BEAT UP BY PEOPLE, OR EVEN CALLED GROSS!!!
1. Play dominoes (people edition.)
2. Act like you’re already on the ride. Throw your hands up and scream.
3. Lean against a rail or wall and act like you fell asleep. Take up as much space as possible to prevent people from passing you.
4. Find a random stranger and listen to their conversations long enough to find out their name. Suddenly interrupt, “(name)? So long no see. How have you been doing lately” and ask a whole bunch of random questions.
5. Tell little children horror stories about the ride you are waiting for.
6. Roll a quarter past a bunch of people and claim that you need to grab your quarter. Once you find it, stay at that place in line.
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7. Carry a piece of non-used gum in you pocket but don’t let people see it. When you get near but not at a place where there is a ton of ABC gum stuck to a wall (most rides have it), start asking everyone around you for a piece of gum. Casually reach into your pocket and have your gum unwrapped and in your hand by the time you get to the wall of chewed gum. Proclaim “Well, if none of you will give me some, I might as well grab some from this wall.” Next, reach out to the wall and act as if you pulled of a piece but really it’s just the gum in your hand. Make a big show of shoving it in your mouth and chewing.
8. Scream, “STOP FOLLOWING ME!!” at the people behind you.
9. Act like you are stalking the people in front of you. Look all sketchy and such while glancing cautiously at them every once in a while.
10. When the line is moving, stop and hold your arms out to both sides. Step back and say “Get back, holy cow” and act amazed/surprised. Suddenly take on a determined look, and take a running leap ahead of you as if a huge crack opened up in the ground and you jumped over it.
11. Pull some invisible rope out of your pocket and tie it around both sides of the railings. Claim, “Sorry, ride’s closed.” and keep going.
12. Step on the person’s heel in front of you repeatedly and say, “Sorry.” every time.
13. Get a notepad and pen. Stare at people a whole lot and take notes.
14. Find someone who’s already been on the ride before and talk about it. Completely describe the wrong thing. Talk about the part where you go underwater and ride in a submarine. Also, describe how long the ride goes upside down and exaggerate the length of the ride.
15. Right before going on the ride, kiss the ground; cry; and talk about how you hope to see solid ground again soon.
16. Ask people if they “really” meet the “health warnings” described at the entrance to the ride.
17. Make a bridge over the path by stretching from one rail to the other. Make people go under or not go at all.
18. Start singing “Lean On Me” extremely loudly with the intention of getting everyone to join in.
19. Yell something distracting and point in a random direction. When everyone looks in that direction, try to sneak past them.
20. Ask someone to carry you.
21. Charge a toll to get past a certain point.
22. Get all the way to the entrance of the ride, mess up your hair, and act like you just got off the ride. Go backwards through the line and try to get all the way to the end. The whole time talk about how fun it was.
23. Make up a fact about how unstable most rides are, giving a convincing “did you know…?”. Then point out a “flaw” in the ride’s design that you are going on.
24. Act really impatient because you are going to be late for something and yell at the people in front of you; calling them all old grandmas.
25. Come disguised as a really old lady and walk at .00001 mph through the line and ignore everyone telling you to hurry up or say “better safe than sorry.”