WARNING: ANY OF THESE MIGHT GET YOU KICKED OUT, ARRESTED, OR CALLED FUNNY NAMES.
1. Order 30 ketch-up packets and 15 cups of water. Once the water arrives yell, “This round’s on me!” Then hand out cups full of water and yell cheers while hitting your cups together.
2. Sit on the table and put your food on the chair.
3. Connect a whole bunch of straws end to end and drink your drink from a long distance away.
4. Take apart your hamburger and examine each piece thoroughly with a magnifying glass.
5. Bring a green jelly bean and draw a face on it. Place it on the floor and then place a burger on top. Then yell “He’s trying to steal the secret formula!” Then stomp on the burger.
6. Tell a stranger to push you in one of those spinning chairs.
7. Walk up to counter looking both ways repeatedly. When you get there lean in really close and order your food in a whisper. Shuffle cautiously to the side into a corner as if you are being looked for. When your order comes, take it quickly and dive under a table. Next, slide up into your seat slowly and eat cautiously while staring at your food so no-one can recognize your face.
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8. If someone calls out your order, yell “HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?”
9. Get an obnoxious amount of cups for water and build a pyramid at your table.
10. Pay entirely in pennies.
11. At the counter, put on rubber gloves. Crouch down and feel around the bottom edge of the counter. If you find gum, take it, place it on the counter and proclaim mission accomplished.
12. Try to haggle the price of the burger down. Start low and gradually work your way higher. Try using objects as bargaining tools. Offer cups, straws, and condiment packets.
13. Attempt a robbery using a rubber ducky and claiming that it’s loaded. Squirt water from rubber ducky if they resist.
14. Use chopsticks to eat your hamburger and fries.
15. Ask for an instruction manual on using the straw.
16. Order your food. When you get it, open it then ask “How to I know this isn’t poisoned?”
17. Find the maximum capacity sign, stare at it for a while, then carefully count everyone in the building out loud.
18. Try to take over the restaurant by voting. Get a mallet and call a meeting to session by banging on a table. Make everyone participate and write down whether who should rule the building.
19. Sing a song about burgers and fries to the tune of Candy-Man from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
20. Order a burger, throw the burger away and use the wrapper to blow your nose.
21. Order two of the same size burgers and weigh them with a scale. If they aren’t exactly the same, complain and ask them to make them equal.
22. Act out a war scene with wadded up paper as bombs and straws as guns.
23. Bring a portable radio and play elevator music as you wait in line.
24. At the soda fountains say, “Geez, save some for the fish.”
25. Order a small drink then sit in the same seat for hours upon hours, getting tons of refills. Act like each sip is amazingly good.