5-soccer Mom Complaints
1.To the twiglike woman who can’t park in the parking lot of my son’s school: We have VERY LIMITED PARKING in the parking lot. It’s basically a cul de sac with parking spots. You taking up 2 parking spots with your stupid suv and then having the nerve to honk and scream at people when they try to park around you in stupid and one day I will break your window, grab you by the throat and shake you HARD. Learn to park, or don’t come at all! I’m sure your kid is better off walking home ANYWAYS.
2.To the twiglike woman’s husband : YOU TOO MORON Also, you glare at me again and I will kick you where the good lord split you.
3.To my male coworkers: Yes I realize I am in your “TURF”. I realize I don’t know much about power tools, lawn tractors, or sockets. But you need to realize I DON’T CARE. You think it really concerns me what size wrench will work on what, or what size motor is in that tractor? Go home and comb your hair over or somthing. The glare from your head is blinding me.
4.To my Female coworkers: I don’t care about your grandkids. I don’t care to tell you about my family or what we plan to do for our vacation. Also, if you ever poke me in the back with your long fingernails again, I will lock you in the janitor’s closet with a rabid chipmunk.
Read more in Humor“Oh Hell No!!!” »
5.To the “elderly” people in my city: For gods sake, learn to DRIVE, or STAY OFF THE ROAD. Having 50 dogs on your lap while you drive actually inhibites your ability to steer a car safely. Please leave your nasty looking 2 pound meat sacks at home and concentrate on the road. Also, if you park in a handycapped parking spot and you are not in fact handicaped, I can’t be held responsible for the glares and occasional finger that might pop up from me
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