A Friday Chuckle

Published by in Humor
8th Apr 2011

A Friday Chuckle

We are surrounded by so much doom and gloom, that I thought it would be good to abandon serious writing topics for a short session of laughs in one posting.

I am not a comedian, and I don’t have a long portfolio of jokes and funny or weird quotes and sayings, I have borrowed a selection of them from the internet, from various sites,  and from blogs, so thanks to them all for the following:

 

Funny questions

Why is the word “abbreviation” so long?

 If a word is spelt wrong in the dictionary, who will know about it?

 Why is the hour when cars move extremely slowly, and getting home takes a long time, called the “rush hour”?

 Why don’t they make aeroplanes out of the same material that they use for the black boxes?

 If laughter is the best medicine, how come we can ‘die laughing’?

Read more in HumorMost Creative Toilet Papers »

 When two men get married, do they both go to the same bachelor party?

 If parents tell their kids “never take candy from strangers,” why do they let them celebrate Halloween?

 Do butterflies remember life as a caterpillar?

 How important does a person have to be before he or she is considered to have been assassinated instead of just murdered?

 Why are goods that are carried by a ship called CARgo?

 Why are goods that are carried in HGV’s by road called SHIPments?

 If the grass is always greener on the other side, when you get there will you want to come back?

 Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

 Why do they sterilise needles used in fatal injections?

 If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the others drown too?

 What colour does a Smurf  turn if you choke it?

 Is atheism a non-prophet organization?

 Can you get cavities in your false teeth if you eat too much artificial sweetener?

 Do people who buy it, know that Evian water spelled backwards is Naïve?

 What was the best thing before sliced bread?

 If we are all on earth to help others, what exactly are the others here for?

 Why are the structures that we live and work in called “buildings” if they are already built?

 Why are the things that we sit on in the football stadium called “stands.”

 If a prisoner, who is about to be executed, has a heart-attack, should he be saved?

 http://www.weird-websites.info/Top-100/Weird-Questions-To-Ask-People.htm

http://www.crazythoughts.com/

  • CHIPMUNK

    hilarious good one indeed

  • Sheila Barnhill

    The button says “like”, but I LOVED this!!! Tons of thanks.

  • Val Mills

    What a wonderful look at our language! I’ve sometimes wondered about the caterpillar / butterfly one :-)

  • etheral76

    Thanks for this, Trevor! You are right, unfortunately, there is much more focus on sad stuff in the daily life. Have a great weekend.

  • anndavey650

    Had a good giggle! (Especially the smurf one) ahem.

  • Minaem

    Very funny!!

  • Tulan

    That does give us something to think about, We really do have a weird language. A good read.

  • Freethinking

    Evian and the Smurf really got me laughing. Also, when someone dies, why do they call it a wake? Shouldn’t they call it a dead?