A Funny Fat Look at an Epidemic

Published by in Humor
25th Jul 2013

It’s The Epidemic!

I’m not blaming myself, because this funny thing happens every time I blame myself for being fat, I feel fatter. I know its weird but when I say things to myself like ” Your fat” I start to feel like I’m as big as a freaking elephant. By the way my dog is fat too, I know I’m a bad pet parent. I try not to blame myself for that either because when I do I start thinking he is fatter than what he really is, its crazy. I’ll look at him and he suddenly looks like a whale with four legs. Not that he looks like a whale or anything its just that he looks bigger if I say he is fat. 

Don’t Blame Me

Nope I don’t blame myself, I found a way to feel better about the extra 30 pounds I packed on. It’s called the epidemic, ya it was on HBO and everything, it was called “The Weight Of The Nation” They explored how our country got this way. I didn’t really watch the show but I did hear about it. Anyway, I heard America has an obesity problem that needs to be addressed, and its good to see the food industry on board. You know doing their part. Every night my mouth waters as I watch all the food commercials. All those double meats, and double treats of all kinds. They are constantly doubling everything. It drives me crazy, and I get crazy hungry.

Read more in Humor« When Should You Use Apostrophes and Commas?Humorous Relationship Suggestions »

The Problem Has Me Eating

The problem with this epidemic is that it has me eating. That food calls my name, it wants me to eat it. Lets face it, all that delicious food is not going to eat itself. I think food is making me crazy, the harder I try not to eat fatty foods, its like the harder they try to sell it to me. I try not to look, but they are like an evil food temptress, everywhere I look I see fast food restaurants. I watch TV and every other commercial is about fatty food. There like food dealers and we are all addicted. 

My Conclusion Write A Stupid Poem

I want french fries!

I want a shake!

And excuse me dude but are you gonna finish that steak?

I want cheetos!

I want a burger!

Maybe I should just lay off the sugar!

I want McDonalds!

I still want that shake!

Thanks dude I enjoyed that steak!

I want a meal deal!

I want a cinnamon bun, OMG more food run!