A Recap of January, 2011

GRAND PIANO IS SEEN ON SANDBAR IN BISCAYNE BAY,MIAMI

A grand piano is seen on a sandbar in Biscayne bay and apparently, nobody knows how it got there. A classic example of the now-you-don’t-see-it-now-you-do phenomenon. One fine morning, it just sort of ‘appeared’. Scientists say that it might have just been washed on shore by tides and that there’s nothing ‘phenomenal’ about it. Alright wise guys!

No one believes them. Here are some logical explanations

(the percentage of Miami’s population agreeing with the explanation is given in brackets)

1.     A sea monster swallowed the piano back when the titanic sank and threw up on the sand bar due to an upset stomach (35%)

2.     The piano was dropped by a terrorist who planned to kill thousands of innocent civilians in the process.Sadly, the piano missed target and landed on the sand bar on all four legs and continued to be in one piece (25%)

3.     The piano was returned by extra terrestrials who took it along with them when they last visited Roswell. Reportedly, they were fascinated by the remarkable color combination of the piano keys (It is even rumored that they gifted us the electric guitar) (35%)

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4.     The piano was put to its present place by a generous person so as to increase the aesthetic beauty of the place and so that kids can play piano without actually owning one (Gays)

DIETS LOW ON OMEGA-3 LINKED WITH DEPRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR IN MICE

The test

Five male mice were given varying quantities of omega-3. Each was introduced to a female mouse and allowed to socialize for an hour. The next day, the same procedure is repeated except for that an alpha male (mouse) is introduced to the pair. The female mouse naturally chooses the alpha male thus leaving our guinea pig (in this case, male mouse) depressed.

The result

Now comes the fucked up bit. They found out that the time taken by a mouse to fall into serious depression(stop taking food, pacing back and forth, talk to imaginary mouse friends, self punishment, tryinna fuck a key hole etc-) and hang itself (commit suicide) is directly proportional to the amount of omega-3 given to them.

Now, mice and men share a lot in common. For instance, both have two eyes, a nose and two ears. So, logically, if it works for mice, it will work for humans as well.

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