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A Tax Paying Citizen Speech
This is a speech I know countless police officers have heard more than once in their lustrous careers in one form or another. So now I present my version here for all to enjoy.
Officer, do you have any Idea who you just pulled over? Do you have any Idea at all who I am? I’m a tax paying citizen. That’s who I am! I cannot believe you had the audacity to pull me, a tax paying citizen, over, out of all the people on the streets and highways that deserve to be pulled over far more than I do! It absolutely shocks me to no end that you would pick me out of all the other drivers out here!
As a tax paying citizen, I pay your wages, and you know what that means! That sir means I have rights! And I assure you sir, by this time tomorrow you’ll be walking a beat in Alaska! Yes officer I know I was speeding, but I have authority to do so. If you don’t believe me just ask my wife!
What do you think you’re going to do with those handcuffs? You cannot treat me like this. I’m not one of your criminals, sir! I have friends in high places, you know! I’ll call the governor and tell him just how you have treated me out here and I assure you sir, he’ll be none too happy about the situation, if you know what I mean! You can’t arrest me! I know my rights! For your information, they have erected a statue in my honor at the nation’s capital. As a tax paying citizen, you should treat me with a little more respect. If you don’t believe I’m a tax paying citizen you just ask my mother-in-law! She’s sitting in the back seat giving the driving instructions!
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10 Comments
LOL…This is an enjoyable read, Randy…
nice one my friend.i’ll be going to sleep with a smile on my face…thanks Randy
Hey Randy that was hilarious….
Very funny, Randy. I suppose there must be a lot of people out there like that. I’d be too scared to say anything.
Christine
Very clever, Randy. Funny, three of my brothers were policemen at some time in their lives; and two of them religiously carried a dime in their pocket. This dime was often handed, or offered to, an individula who stated “I pay your salary”..my brothers’ comment would be, “here’s your share back, now we’re even…”. Good laugh brother.
Very funny. My brother is a police officer and the stories he has told me you would not believe. Great read, you had me laughting.
LOL
hehe! Thats so hilarious!
That was fun! Innocent bewilderment works a lot better tho.
Nice… my favorite police joke is when you get pulled over for speeding and when they ask “Do you have any idea how fast you were going?”.
Classic response: “Fast enough to get a ticket?”
—-Vertjaars