Acute Green Saliva Syndrome

Some diseases are yet to be discovered

Scientists agree that there so many diseases that haven’t been discovered just yet. While in college, a friend of mine suffered a terrible disease which I will want to call the acute green saliva syndrome. He took a few sachets of alcoholic spirits, went to visit a girlfriend and found her busy with another man, and hurriedly came to the room we shared, teeming with suicidal thoughts.

His heart was racing, a condition known medically as tachycardia

His heart was racing. He felt like screaming murder but to calm himself, he rushed to the bathrooms for the normal thing that drunken people normally do after every 5 minutes. After peeing, he did another one of their favorite, indiscriminate spitting, but this time the saliva was green.

‘Jimmy, you have to see this, I am terribly sick!’

‘What is it Panya?’

‘Green saliva, never seen it in my life, I spat once, twice, and thrice, all the while it was green, green, green. I think that girl has bewitched me.’

In Africa, black magic can turn a man into anything

If you live in Africa, you don’t doubt such things. People can be bewitched to turn into all manner of things, leave alone produce green spittle. I was tired, and had just finished reading War and Peace, a three week struggle. It was well past midnight but I had to wake up and witness the acute green saliva syndrome. He pulled me along towards the bathroom to spit again.

The saliva was green!

The saliva was green, yes, but what was making it green was the fluorescence bulb which had been enveloped by a green transparency following a disco dance that had been held the previous night. Anyone spitting there and then caught the green saliva syndrome, a terrible disease aided by drunkenness.

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