A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says,
‘Do you know me?’ To which she replies,
‘I think you’re the father of one of my kids.’ Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says,
‘Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?
‘She looks into his eyes and says calmly,
“No, I’m your son’s teacher.”
Bloke comes home to find his son sitting on the couch grinning ear to ear, “what are you so happy about?” he asked. “I just f****d the girl next door.” he said proudly. “Well done son, I hope you were wearing something.” “yep.” he replied. “A balaclava”
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Chris Tarrant says “for £32000 what is the colour of your wife’s fanny hair,
Blond, black, brown or ginger?” Paddy says” Ah, by Jesus now, its a lot of money to risk, can I phone a friend?
I persuaded my girlfriend to try Anal for the 1st time last night.
I said “if it hurts too much, yell the safety word and I’ll stop.” She said “OK, what’s the safety word?” well you do know i am welsh don’t you, of course she replied so my safe word will be “Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch”