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Amuse Me, Confuse Me, Make Me Smile: Bumper Sticker Messages
Little nuggets of sagaciousness and humor pasted to the bumper or window of a vehicle. Bumper stickers amuse, amaze and convey sentiments to those whom read them and can lighten the burden of the weary traveler.
Rest Stop Ahead: Too Much Information
Here’s some truth in advertising although ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ works better for me.
Patriotic Freedoms of Expression
Freedom of speech and expression indeed! Both of these are oh-so true. We can feel relief now that ‘the old guard’ is out of office and we look ahead to the future. It is time to re-create what made America great.
I had to re-read and think about the second one for awhile and it begins to make sense the longer you think about it. If the freedoms only apply to some of the people, it is not really freedom but privilege.
It reminds of another tongue-in-cheek bumper stick that I saw that said “In Democracy, Your Vote Counts. In Feudalism, Your Count Votes.”
I love humorous bumper stickers. They can make traveling more enjoyable. It can be fun to read the automobile graffiti and glean some wisdom and humor along the way. One of my favorites was on the bumper of a car whose driver clearly likes Vikings. The bumper sticker read “It takes a Village to Raise a Child, But it Takes a Viking To Raze a Village.” Clever, eh?
Highlander Redux
From the movie “Highlander” and the series, ‘there can be only one’ was the spoken incantation when the victor slays his opponent. But in the lowlands, they are a little more relaxed. More cordial. There can be several.
And the survey Says…
Not every survey has meaning. Heck, -I have seen surveys that ask if you like taking surveys and surveys on how to improve future surveys. In fact, some telemarketers are getting around the stipulation of the ‘Do Not Call List’ by beginning their unsolicited phone inquiry with a survey. This is apparently exempt from the anti-telemarketer legislation. Imagine that. Poll-takers are not restricted from calling you at home to ask if you want to take a survey about their site/product, and then while you’re on the line they can try to sell something to you.
Epic FAIL in my opinion.
P.E.T.A.P?
I am just about sick to my stomach whenever I hear about the morally-superior P.E.T.A. and some of their ridiculous causes. Just out of curiosity though I wonder if they are all vegetarian/vegans, or if some of them meet at McDonald’s after a ‘successful campaign’ to pig-out on chicken nuggets and fries? I recall a group of ‘concerned citizens’ that amassed to protest a special legislated deer hunt in the Florida Everglades. This one-time sanctioned event was permitted in an effort cull the overpopulation and therefore mitigate the disesaes of overpopulation of the deer, reduce property damage incidents that was happening because of being struck by cars, and address the damage to fruit orchards caused by the overpopulation. Hunters came in from both within and beyond the state to participate in this Department of Environmental Conservation-sanctioned conservation effort (but we can call it ’special hunting season’ and not trample upon anybody’s feelings.)
The ‘bunny huggers’ showed up with protest signs and airhorns to try and scare the deer into the deep glades, beyond the reach of hunters. They rented air boats and with throw nets attempted to ‘rescue’ the pretty deer by chasing them into deeper waters, net them and ‘humanely relocate them’ to a safer environment away from the evil cruel hunters.
Well, they ended up killing most of the deer they attempted to capture. Some deer became entangled in the nets tossed onto them and they drown in the swampy everglade. I think a few deer got ran-over by the air boats in the process of trying to escape to oncoming boat. The deer were terrified by the air boats as you might expect. This was a form of torture in and of itself. The rescuers however did not see it that way, for they the self-appointed purveyors of morality alone can do no harm.
Air boats are loud and scary to wildlife. Of the few deer that did survive the chase-and-net operations, they received broken bones out of the deal that would require extensive rehabilitation before their release. And of course by then they had more-of-less become domesticated. All of this was ‘for their protection.’ Puh-lease! These people are educated beyond their intelligence. They won’t even hurt a fly. That may be true of intent.
Since Obama’s unfortunate incident of cruel & unusual extreme and terminal prejudice against that poor innocent fly he swatted, perhaps P.E.T.A. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) would like to include plants of the garden variety in their protection cause as well? I mean, -c’,mon! Cabbage, baby corn and baby carrots have feelings too! They are really quite tender.
Take Off Every Zig…
I like this bumper sticker and want one. You would have to be familiar with the ill-produced SEGA Genesis ‘Zero Wing‘ video game and its poorly translated English to appreciate this slogan.
We finally have a great candidate in office and in the worst of times as the world and the United States work to fix the global and national economy. The true strength of a president can be measured in both the best of times and in the worst of times. I think with Mr. Obama in office we shall once again see the best of times. All our hope are belong to you.
Ah, If Only!
I just went to refrigerator for a tall glass of ice cold lemon tea. Follow me on Twitter to see what I do next. (grin)
Bumper Sticker Police
I love this video! And while the dichotomy of war as felt in the homeland is that fathers bury their sons instead of the other way around, don’t forget that a soldier dreams of peace and coming home. That is what they live for. Remember that this Fourth of July as we in the United States celebrate our Independance Day.
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27 Comments
This is great fun! I like it!!!!!! Liz
Cool. I like the Lowlander one best.
Top article – I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that made me laugh – Based upon the UK Government’s expences fiasco
DO NOT STEAL!
The Government doesn’t like the competition
Good article. We have a similar thing going on here as your ’saving the deer’ example. Animal-lovers (who know best) have been capturing perfectly happy urban foxes and releasing them into the countryside. Of course all that happens is that there are huge numbers of foxes put into a small area and all the wildlife gets eaten!
I grew up on a farm and well, we respected our animals both domestic and feral. And in the right season, some of them adorned our supper table. I have however, seen videos of how cattle are ‘mass processed’ and that makes me ill. I understand PETA’s mantra. However, their recent rage over Obama swatting a fly? -Are they really that morally obtuse? Anyway, yeah, catch & release (foxes, etc.) of ferals in unfamiliar territory upsets the balance. It was a ‘thing’ some years ago when I lived in western NY state that the D.E.C.(Dept. of Envir.Conservation) ‘…in an effort to repatriate the species into their native lands,’ released several mated pair of PYGMY RATTLESNAKES into the woods not far from my hometown!
Well, several people got bitten. You CAN survive these, but one person did not. He died of a heart attack shortly after he drove himself to the hospital to complain that he stepped out of his truck and stepped on/was bitten by a rattler! The medics at first did not believe him and they may have not taken immediate steps to treat this, then he died of ‘other causes.’
And more… troublesome black bears from New York City have been secretly taken to western New York State and released into ‘the wilds’ of some rural counties… guess what the bears started to do immediately? Yup, -break into cabins, parked cars and trash bins (just as they had been doing in suburbia NYC) looking for food and having no fear of people, they fearlessly approached the people of these rural towns whom fearing for their safety (wild bears here run from people), shot the bears ‘as protection.’
People get really dumb when it comes to certain aspects of wildlife management it seems…
You made me can’t stop laughing. Bookmarked and liked it.
Loved it as usual!!! Theres some classics out there!
Bumper stickers are always amazing and very amusing.Occasionally they can provoke anger and agression.
These are hilarious
I enjoyed this read, I love bumper stickers too. You find a lot oftruth in them.
Excellent!! well done!..this is really funny piece..I lov it so much..nicely done as always…Thanx for sharing this wonderful work.
I love bumper stickers they make me laugh! Great article!
Great collection!
Great stuff – love the Lowlander one, my sort of humour exactly! Now all I need to do is buy a car!
funny stuuf
Just pointing out here, Wing Commander was actually a very well produced game. The ‘All Your Base are Belong to Us’ line is from Zero Wing, a game for the Sega Genesis.
(regarding previous comment)
Ah yes! My opps & apologies. That didn’t sound right when I wrote it and it got past me when checking my sources prior to publication. I shall correct my article, -with thanks & gratitude for pointing out my error. Thanks!
-thestickman
Great idea writing this..,it’s hilarious
excellent. great one
Funny.
interesting, very interesting!
This is interesting and entertaining.
These are very funny bumper stickers.
these are great. just to let you know i also stumbled the page as well
Great article! I love reading bumper stickers. Some of them can give you a very good laugh.
I love seeing all the different bumper stickers people have.
All your votes… classic.