Amusing Chinese Fortune Cookies

Summer is a great time to relax by the pool and open up a few fortune cookies.  Let’s see if these fortune cookie sayings make a big splash.

1.   Never suck your thumb if you’ve just changed your motor oil in your car.

2.   If you dress like a bum and smell like a bum, chances are you are a bum.

3.   Never address a bumble bee as a bum unless you want to be stung.

4.   Being rich does not mean that you are happy but it’s still better than the alternative.

5.   Never suck your thumb while driving on the freeway at 80 miles per hour.

6.   The tiniest cell in the human body does not own a cell phone. 

7.   Never play golf in the nude.  You must always be aware where your balls are.

8.   Your account is always in the red when you go to a blood bank.

9.   You are about to get your dream job.  Just kidding. It was only a dream.

10. Good news. Your state of depression is over.

Read more in Humor« You Must Speak English — Funny Signs Found Throughout America (United States)

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 Bad news. Your meddlesome mother-in-law is planning to stay at your home for the next six months.

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