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Hairless Cats, Feline Humor, and Why I Love My Stupid Dog
Good Grief…
I’m not a big fan of cats. I don’t dislike them, mind you, but to me, they just seem like nature’s version of Republicans…. self righteous and arrogant. I read a quote once, the gist of which was this: You feed a dog, the dog looks up and thinks “He fed me! He’s the greatest thing in the world!” You feed a cat, the cat says “He fed me. I am the greatest thing in the world.”
Which is why I am more of a dog person. We own cats; my wife, in fact, spent an absolutely ludicrous amount of money on a hairless cat. That’s right, it’s just as bald as a baby’s ass. And the single ugliest creature you will lay eyes upon. I tried, in vain, to talk her into rescuing a cat from the animal shelter (No, I am not that altruistic, although my dog was a rescuee… the $40 price just seemed a bit more palatable) and shaving it, but in cat world, even this suggestion is considered heresy.
The evening we picked the mutant cat up from the airport (you heard right there, as well… they apparently only grow hairless cats in warm climates. Hmmm…) she took it home and immediately proceeded to take the animal which had been bred to have no hair and dressed it. In clothes. Seriously. Sitting with Cheops- so named because somehow hairless is considered to remind us of Egypt- She informed me in her cutest little oody boody boo voice that the poor cat was shivering.
I considered for the briefest of moments pointing out that they bred these mutant animals in warm climates for a reason, and that Wisconsin (where we live) is just a tad bit short of the arctic circle, but having remained successfully married for over a decade saw immediately the err of this plan. And chose instead to laugh, which I did for some time. Hell, it’s funny.
And therein lies cats’ redeeming feature; they have the ability to annoy me. Here are some classic examples:
Cheops doesn’t do anything nearly this cool, although she does on occasion do that thing they do where she jumps directly into the air when I yell during football games, which is usually worth a chuckle. But you know what? She’s bald. That’s enough of a humorous note that I decided we’d keep her. That, and because if I got rid of her, my wife would probably go with her. (I suppose there ought to be some dedication in there for $1500) Such is life. And I always got my dog.
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14 Comments
Great article and very interesting.
Aww a lovely write fab vid good article
I really enjoyed this piece. I actually identified with it because I am a dog person too!
$1500???? At our house they wander through looking for a home – more than I can feed! Well, chuckle value is worth something, I guess.
haha my favorite saying is: “If a dog sits in your lap it’s because he loves you. If a cat sits in your lap it’s because your lap is warmer.”
i was once like this, we had a house full of animals including cats, i never was keen on them until i had one adopt me, she was my best friend, i too am and still a dog lover, but now also i love cats and they all love me, i love all animals as well because i am a big softy, thanks for sharing.
I enjoyed you write! Though I’m a cat lover…
Don’t have pets myself, but I have a sneaking suspicion that you love this bald cat too, sir.
Totally hilarious! A hairless cat must be worth a chuckle or two in and of itself; not to mention in Wisconsin.
Very funny article; I loved it!
I dont have a cat like that but a fat very fury cat as a roomate.She annoys me but I love her dearly.Great article and worth reading.
I love my cat too. She’s very snobbish and don’t like to be pet. Pretty weird for a cat if you ask me.
I have two orientals. Cats are so entertaining! As the cat in the movie “homeward bound” commented; “cats rule and dogs drool”
I still prefer cats but just the ordinary ones.
I’m sitting here nodding my head and laughing my ass off. Great article!