I am proud to be born as a panda in my lovely land here, China. People here, not only friendly to me, but also they give me a lot of attentions, love and care. Some of my buddies had been emigrated to Japan, America, Australia, and some other countries. I hope they do not forget their origins and cultures pass on to them from generations to generations by our ancestor. Until now, I always keep them in touch either through cell phone, e-mail, chat room or SMS. Indeed, I have an incredibly extraordinary life here. It may include all the bitter, and sweet experiences that I would like to share with you here. This is the third page of my album as a panda. My first album is on Panda: From the Birth to Growth while my second album is about My Secret Life as a Panda. Feel free to read on my albums to know more about me so that you will understand my feeling better.

Here my stories go…

Don’t disturb me! I’ve been jumpy lately…Get off! Don’t touch me….! It hurt me to think that you would lie to me…

Hey, girl, are you angry with me for not buying you a lipstick? I beg for your pardon….please come down from the tree and don’t make me worried. See, I’m begging you, don’t stay up in the tree, please! Sweetheart, c’mon, we can make a deal. Come on, come on…..

You guess what I’m looking at….hmm, you know, one of my buddies prefers to hide himself in the hole I’m looking at. He must have a screw loose in his head as he tends to deal with crazy things other people won’t touch. Hmm, the pressure of life has been really getting to him lately! Poor stuff, though….! In fact, I can say, he’s like a bull in a China shop….

I’m sick thinking of my girl who is a wacko for dating a guy who is 30 years older than her! Look at her showing off over there. He buys her all those pretty things…hmmm..I can’t believe that she dated him…

The police have asked me to sit here to keep an eye out of anything suspicious….

Stranger: You’re out of luck…it’s not okay for you to leave now…

Me: Look, sir, I haven’t seen anything and I won’t tell anyone….

Stranger: Well…uh, you know…you know…I can’t simply take other people’s words. You can’t go…do you hear me?

Me: Sir, I swear to God I’ll tell nobody…

Stranger: If you don’t move a muscle, I won’t blow you head off! …heard me?

Hey, little buddy, c’mon, follow me to put your body through this giant black ring! It’s exciting to play around besides strengthening your muscles…

Wassup, dude? Come on, man, turn your body through this ring. Don’t punk out and don’t hang back!

I think this guy in front of me is a big strapping guy but short on brains. I’m going to follow him closely from behind to find out what’s he going to do…..At the moment, I’m a little short on trust at him….

Hurry up, buddies, we got to hurry to accomplish our MISSION to get paid by our big boss!

My girl is such a dish. I’ve been dying to meet her. That day, I was nearly died laughing when I saw her wearing a dress to die for…. very impressive….well, I’ll stop at nothing in my attempt to talk to her tonight. This girl is too thin, straight as an arrow, if I can say.

I’m praying for a better tomorrow…God, please forgive our sins, and don’t put so much sufferings and disasters on our planet….please! We don’t want earthquake, tornado, tsunami, flash blood, volcano eruption, global warming…For heaven’s sake, help me fulfilling my dream! I know you can do it. Please, for my sake, and for all people’s sake around the world…

Hmm, I’m wondering how to get out of this maze? There must be a way out of it, I guess…

He was supposed to come and pick us up so we can go to the club, but he left us hanging…He had his word eaten, and how could we turn our backs on him, huh…He’s such a nasty little bottom feeder!

Hey, baby, I’m not trying to pull your legs; I think yer really fit. Yer fit but you know it….

Indeed, I became absolutely obsessed with her…

Me: My girlfriend dumped me, I’ve got no money, my dog died, and the world sucks…there’s always option E.

Stranger: You’ve to think twice before your make up your mind, buddy! There’s always a way out…yeah…way out…Get a hold of yourself! I know, you’re to be in much of a mood to talk, let follow your mind but not your heart… Otherwise, you’ll make a right mess of that!

Oh, God! I got an escapee in my pants. I gotta go!

Wow, it’s snowing! Now, we’ve got some snow balls to play around…(I’m the standing one)

I can’t eat anymore. My stomach is bulging.

Hua Ming(right panda): Dude, you’re shot! (Have a pause for a while, chewing the bamboo)

Me: Yeah. I’m. I’ve been shopping with my girlfriend all day!

(Turn to Hua Ming, smiling)

You know, YenYen is so hot; she’s just fall out of bed good looking….

Hua Ming: What?! Say again….

Many people become workaholic, chasing success and thus neglecting their health…Do you a favor, and go out on a high like me… A hot spring will soon set you up!

I like to glide through the ground that is covered with white snow, but mom said it won’t do me any good as I may have my buttock got scratched…

Knock it off, dude, would you? Your singing is killing me!

So, just let me relax and keep my head here…Get out of my face! Leave me alone here, all right?

Didn’t it strike you as curious that the panda got on the plane? 8 of my buddies are honored as Public Relationship Officers to meet everyone at Beijing’s Olympic Games. They’ve been flown to Beijing. I too, am honored as the ambassador to fly to Japan to strengthen the relationship between China and Japan. The male who sits beside me is my private security guard to protect my safety. Hmm…he’s nice as he occasionally feeds me with delicious bamboo shoots….

Hmm, that’s odd because my face has put in the poster by the travel agency in Japan….

Hmm…in fact, I’ve dedicated my life to this country…Everything I have, I give…..

Me (I am the front panda): Tell you one thing…That hot afternoon when you were not around, one fool came in our shop. He was acting all shady. All in a sudden, he breathes in a bad vibe, and thus picking up his cell phone; he started to make a call. So, I popped him…

Mom: You did what?!

Me: I hit him with a rake. I didn’t know what else to do!

Mom (surprising): What?! My goodness! Son, you’re not right this time…

Me: Pardon me lol…mom!

I am standing on my mom’s back, can you see me? I say, “Mom, please don’t walk so fast, “coz I can”t keep myself balanced. Ooop! Mom, I’m going to fall off ……”

Right now I’ve the worst hangover and will never drink again! Never! Alcohol is bad!

Hey, buddy, I ain’t anybody. You bump into to me and spilled my orange juice; let’s bounce outside!

GuoHwa: Cool. Now we’re buddies. Where to, buddy?

Me: Well, uh….go watching Kung Fu Panda….

GuoHwa: Why Kung Fu Panda not Spiderman?

Me: Though I haven’t seen it myself, but it’s supposed to be a very good film. I heard that Kung Fu Panda is a funny movie, and huh…must have us straight rollin’…..

No wonder that chick in the cage wouldn’t give me any play. I found out that she’s a donut bumper. Whoo, her breath smells like poo…

WeiJia(left panda): That day, I went to a casino…My hands didn’t look much better…I was out there with a busted straight, but the other guy was lucky enough to have a royal flush…

Me (right panda): Oh, really? Poor stuff to hear….

Wow, what type of ice cream is this? I can’t figure out its favor…strange favor and strange taste…I’d rather prefer the strawberry favor…Chewing this odd ice cream really set me up! But, uh…I felt as if my teeth had been punched out!