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Unexpectedly Funny Things to Do with Hamsters When You’re Bored

Published by R J Evans in Animal
July 31, 2008

Famous actors do it, renowned comedians do it, celebrities do it, why even the man in the street does it, so why shouldn’t you? Here, discover eleven things (lists of ten are so last year!) you can do with your hamster when you’re bored.

Famous actors do it, renowned comedians do it, celebrities do it, why even the man in the street does it, so why shouldn’t you? Here, discover eleven things you can do with your hamster when you’re bored.

Amuse Him With Your Office Anecdotes

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Hamsters love to hear what went on at the office. In fact they like nothing better than a long and intense monologue. Start with the time you got to work and give him a blow by blow account of the day’s activities. You can even tell him those secrets that you can’t tell anyone else, like who is having an affair with the boss. Hamsters love gossip!

Hammy Fact

The name hamster comes from German. The word is “hamstern” and it means to hoard. It could have been worse - in the competition for names, other suggestions were Pelzkuge (furball) and Hundenahrung (dog food). Ah, those Germans and their zany sense of humor!

Shower Him With Presents

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Like any other creature on earth, hamsters love to be spoiled. So, why not shower your little friend with gifts? We are not necessarily talking Gucci or Yves San Laurent here, but be careful to wrap up your gifts correctly. Hamsters are very up on the protocols of gift giving and you do not want to upset the little fur ball.

Hammy Fact

There are 28 species of hamster, including the golden and the dwarf. The dwarf was only introduced as a pet about twenty years ago, which is good because when it becomes extinct in the wild we won’t have to worry.

Introduce him to world cuisine

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Hamsters love variety, so why not expand his culinary interests and introduce him to some of the more exotic dishes from around the world? As you can see, the hamster in the picture is fascinated by the sushi he has been presented with. It’s not a “WTF” moment, honestly!

Hammy Fact

If you own Golden or Syrian hamsters, you may need lots of space! After the age of ten weeks or so they have to be kept separately. If not, you may have a Tarantino-type scene of bodies greet you. They will, however, bond with humans with the exception of the occasional sulky nip.

Teach Him Yoga

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Hamsters need to keep fit, just like us. Part of the regime of well being that you could introduce your hamster to is yoga. Good for the mind and the body, it could only be a matter of time before they master transcendental meditation too.

Hammy Fact

In their wild habitat hamsters will really let rip with their tunnel building. As small as they are, their tunnels can go down as much as three feet in depth. If you hate your neighbors, why not buy a thousand hamsters and release them underneath their house? Within months subsidence and sub-prime will both take their toll.

Take Him To The Cinema

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Long wet afternoons can be a source of boredom to hamsters as well as humans. So, why not let your little buddy accompany you to the movies? Hamsters love films of any kind, but their current favorites are Ratatouille and Mouse Hunt. They do not, however, like zombie films. Or Star Wars. They hate Star Wars.

Hammy Fact

Most rodents’ teeth will grow throughout their lives and the same is true of the hamster. To keep the teeth clean and worn, give them some plastic chewy toys to play with. If you get a plastic figure of your most despised public figure, both you and your hamster will have fun.

Introduce Him to E-Numbers

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Like human children, a hamster with ADHD can be a handful. They love their food and so if you leave a biscuit tin open and a hamster loose around the “hoose” you will return to find a frenzied creature that will not do what he is told and will refuse to leave his Playstation.

Hammy Fact

Hamsters do not have very good eyesight - or depth perception for that matter. Pop a brick in front of them as they are running and you will soon prove this. When hamsters are somewhere with which they are not familiar they will rub their bodies against various objects to leave a scent trail. So, when you have a new hamster, don’t worry. It’s not doing what your dog does with any and every object it can find - honestly.

Teach them To Act

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Hamsters have a fine sense of the dramatic, so teach them some Shakespeare or Wilde. Acting classes may well help channel your hamster’s angst in to something useful and you can make money out of. The famous “hamster recites Shakespeare” video on YouTube got sixteen million hits, after all. They can be a little hammy on stage, though. Sorry, couldn’t resist that one.

Hammy Fact

Anyone who has ever had a hamster will know that they have bags of energy. In the wild they can travel anywhere up to eight miles in a night in their search for food. Since their introduction to urban homes, they much prefer a drive to the Seven Eleven.

Then Become an Audition Mom

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With your hamster fully trained up and a RADA graduate, you can then sit back and watch the money pour in as they enjoy dramatic success. They could be the next incarnation of Doctor Who, or tread the boards at Stratford-Upon-Avon as Hamlet. After all, if David Tennant can do it, there should be nothing stopping your little chum in his search for stardom. You may have to be an audition mum for a while, though, as hamsters don’t much like bright lights. A little encouragement goes a long way!

Hammy Fact

Hamsters can carry up to half their body weight in their pouches. Some children have seen this as indicative of strength in other areas and have used this as a reason to see whether their pet can carry up to a hundred times its own weight on its shoulders. Parental Guidance is advised in these circumstances.

Teach Him Chess

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Although many Olympic sports are beyond the ability of most hamsters - despite many appeals to the Olympic Committee over the years - chess may prove to be a fine option if your hamster has a competitive nature. A game that can be mastered in minutes, if not less, chess is the perfect sized game for your furry friend. He may have difficulty ringing the bell once his turn is done, but that is something that you could help out with.

Hammy Fact

Hamsters don’t live a long time, so are perfect pets if you want to teach your children those important lessons around life and death. Generally, they live for between two and four years. The record for a hamster in activity is twenty years. That family did not have any children.

Have A Silly Face Competition

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Although hamsters loathe people who patronize them, they like nothing more than a funny face competition. While at the sushi bar (see above), why not engage him in a competition? Pop your cuddly friend on your table top and engage him in pulling funny faces. Encourage him to enter the spirit of the competition by making the occasional encouraging outburst of baby talk. Watch as delightful men in white coats come and join in the fun!

Hammy Fact

Hamsters do not smell, contrary to popular opinion. We do.

Take Him To A Countryside Rehab Clinic

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Life can get tough for the average hamster, especially after all those auditions and visits to Cinemas and Sushi bars. A week or two at the rodent equivalent of the Betty Ford Clinic should put him back right as rain. Although it means your best friend and companion will be away from you for a few weeks, you can keep in a kind of contact and know his movements by alerting the paparazzi to his visit to the Rehab Center.

Hammy Fact

Hamsters remember their relatives. Remember this when purchasing one as a companion. The Christmas list is hell.

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42 Comments

  1. amie
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 9:59 am

    I got a good laugh reading this. I liked it.

  2. EVIS T
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 12:06 pm

    Hamsters are great, but rats are better :P

  3. nobert soloria bermosa
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    very funny, nice photos, and educational as well,i enjoyed reading this,it reminds me of someone i used to know,you have a great sense of humor,thanks RJ

  4. Allison West
    Posted August 1, 2008 at 11:45 am

    These are the most adorable hamsters ever! I like all the educational facts about them too. I guess I just have a thing for hamsters (anyone remember hamster dance?)

    Could you do any article sometime about monkeys RJ? I love chimps! My friend loves them too. If you did one with pics of chimpanzees, I’d send him the link and he would get such a kick out of it!

  5. Anne Lyken-Garner
    Posted August 1, 2008 at 2:48 pm

    WE have 3 hamsters, I’ll try some of these with them (not!). Another enjoyable and witty article. How come it’s on gomestic? RJ, you may want to check that last paragraph again. There is a tiny editing problem.

  6. Lynn
    Posted August 1, 2008 at 3:09 pm

    Holy crap, that’s freaking adorable…

  7. R J Evans
    Posted August 1, 2008 at 5:57 pm

    Ouch! Thanks, Anne!

  8. space-saver
    Posted August 2, 2008 at 8:04 pm

    Strangley enough, reading all this about hamsters has made me very hungry……….wierd, huh?

  9. Spence
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 2:29 am

    Absolutely brilliant, I cant deny I was a little concerned where this might have been going at first

  10. Fussel Suki
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 5:55 am

    I wonder why no one takes a look at the photos of my dwarf hamsters, they are even cuter but I guess you all just hate and avoid my content.

  11. M Lynnn Johnston
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 11:17 am

    Very amusing! You have a way with words (and pictures).

    I think you meant “captivity” [darn spell check!!]
    “The record for a hamster in activity is twenty years.”

  12. Hein Marais
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 4:05 pm

    Stupendous. Check out the hamsterdance website for more hamster fun!
    http://www.hampsterdance.com/

  13. Joel
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 5:49 pm

    EXCELLENT article! :-)

    -Fellow Triond writer

  14. Nubi505
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    I used to own a hamster, and they are rather cute, interesting creatures. This was a fun article to read, and I did too think it might be rather… inappropriate by the title. But it was great!

    Something my friend would do with his hamster is hold it under the arms and toss it up. This sounds cruel, and probably is (poor hamster), but the hamster would curl up in a ball and spin on the way down. Kinda cute.

    Another thing you might try is take it to the pool with you. While they are small, some can swim, just make sure it doesn’t drown and don’t leave it there for more then a minute.

  15. Rachel Faye
    Posted August 3, 2008 at 9:41 pm

    Hi RJ,

    Enjoyed this article. thanks for the laughs :)

  16. Catherine South
    Posted August 4, 2008 at 6:43 am

    I had a good long chuckle over the yoga picture! I get the same expression when I try to do yoga.
    Fun article :)

  17. #9 ivana
    Posted August 4, 2008 at 2:38 pm

    um…ya it was great ny sis is teaching him how to act wright nowlol

  18. Larry Payton
    Posted August 4, 2008 at 3:11 pm

    Wonderful!

    Offer it to a publisher, it’s almost ready for publication as is!
    But I agree with some other posts that the title is a little off-putting (I remember a book of things to do with a dead cat).

  19. s hayes
    Posted August 6, 2008 at 6:01 am

    Good stuff,
    But don’t be fooled by their cuteness, as they can be evil too.
    I had to remove a hamster from my daugters friends finger last year - It had pierced a vein with its sharp teeth and would not let go.
    It went back to the pet shop after holding a 3 day reign of terror in our house.

  20. Mara Megan
    Posted August 6, 2008 at 12:08 pm

    Wow, that’s cute… so lovely :- ) I remember the hamster in clash which they featured with a side-by-side videos of hamster building a nest and a english bulldog lump, they have this poll thing if which is more cuter and if which of the two you want to bring home… Hamster is like dogs…(mans best friend)aren’t they? Check how they build nest in
    http://clashorama.com/index.php?id=148

  21. Glynis Smy
    Posted August 6, 2008 at 1:30 pm

    Laughter is good for the soul and boy did I laugh at this, how fantastic thank you

  22. Jesse Barnett
    Posted August 6, 2008 at 3:48 pm

    The photos made this article. Good job locating all of them. It must have taken alot of time to find those expressions. I really liked it all as a whole and it was a fantastic way of thinking outside the box.

  23. S A Johns
    Posted August 6, 2008 at 3:48 pm

    Very funny!! I laughed, I cried, I laughed again!!!

  24. tonisan60
    Posted August 6, 2008 at 4:43 pm

    Excelent work, this is an article that must be read by children and parents, my claps for your excelent work

  25. Juliane Elliott
    Posted August 7, 2008 at 12:34 am

    This piece really hit home as my son just got his first hamster! He loves this piece-it cracks us all up! :) Well done!

  26. Karen N
    Posted August 7, 2008 at 7:01 pm

    How adorable!
    Great article.

  27. Lauren Axelrod
    Posted August 9, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    So cute! I love rodents. Is that weird?

  28. PuNiaoPuNiao
    Posted August 9, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    Oh dear, they are so adorable. Can’t imagine letting them loose around the house though, they are simply to small to locate successfully.

    http://sexybluemame.blogspot.com

  29. gadget
    Posted August 9, 2008 at 7:24 pm

    Loved this artical sighned Richard Gear .

  30. kemi.
    Posted August 10, 2008 at 12:08 pm

    i love hamsters…I have one his name’s teddy!
    i love this…teddy will enjoy the movie I take him too! :)

  31. booradley
    Posted August 12, 2008 at 8:50 am

    omg…hilarious!!!

  32. louie jerome
    Posted August 22, 2008 at 5:28 pm

    Excellent! A good read and some amazing photos.

  33. Jane Teh
    Posted October 2, 2008 at 11:19 am

    That was amusing and hilarious! The suggestion of teaching your hamsters to act is weird but really funny. I would love to try this out, if I could get them to stay still for a minute and listen to me. hahah…lol..Because I have 2 Russian dwarf hamsters, 1 very friendly, calm, love to sleep and be handled and mind his own business and the other one hyper-active, agressive, territorial and will bite you when you invade his space. So I hope I could get the hyperactive one to act! lol..

  34. Posted December 1, 2008 at 11:35 am

    Your article and pictures were great but I especially loved the Sushi pic. That little guy looks as though he can’t figure out what’s in front of him…something to eat or something to unwrap! Haha!

  35. p. n.
    Posted December 5, 2008 at 9:44 pm

    it a great website to learn about fun stuff.

  36. amy
    Posted January 27, 2009 at 8:22 am

    i just want to pick them up and hug them to death but not literay

  37. Zabs
    Posted February 4, 2009 at 11:28 am

    hi everyone! i got a hamseter called chestnuit he is a hamster he is male and um he is a hamster and he is called um chestnut!bye

  38. Chi mast
    Posted February 4, 2009 at 11:32 am

    i am trying to do my maths homework and failing miserable and its soooo boring i mean wat is the point!!?? anyway i dunno why im saying this on a hamster site so bye bye now!

  39. Natty
    Posted February 12, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    OMG! I have a hammy named Muffin and he is THE CUTEST THING!! Hes so nice, and i’ve tried to teach him the alphabet, but when I said the sound x makes, he got really scared. Poor Muffin.

  40. Natty
    Posted February 12, 2009 at 11:10 pm

    Oh yeah and I LOVED this website!! The cutest picture is the one with the hamster and the present. The expression’s like so funny. How’d you find these pictures anyways?

  41. Alexandra
    Posted May 7, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    EVIS T is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo wrong!!!!!! Hamsters are much better than mice! Mice have freaky long tails and even my mom, dad and whole family hate them! You are so stupid! These hamsters are so ADORABLE!

  42. Evis T
    Posted May 9, 2009 at 1:07 pm

    Rats have far more personality than those little furballs, no matter how cute they may look!

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