Are You Ever Tongue-Tied At a Party?

Published by in Humor
9th Oct 2010

Hear no evil, speak no evil – and you’ll never be invited to a party ~ Oscar Wilde

Party means people. Strangers, friends, relatives, people you might not particularly like – but still, there they are, clustering, drinking, socializing. And there you are, hiding in a niche, sinking into a couch, with another cocktail named ‘loneliness’, pretending to be extremely busy removing dust molecules from your suit, idly squinting at the Homo sapiens around you.

There might be several causes of this scenario, one of which could be just having a bad day, in which case this article is not for you. If, however, you recognize the pattern, and your empty glass asks to be refilled with another lonely cocktail, it’s time to take some action.


Read more in Humor

You came there to enjoy. To loosen after a tight, busy schedule, to relax after a busy day, to hear a good joke and maybe share one. Socializing does not mean entertaining everybody, but acknowledging your presence to at least one or two people you sympathize is more than legitimate. Do yourself a favor and turn the several hours into something ‘that does not so closely resemble hell’ (c).


Big parties were not made for everyone, especially if you came alone and are not familiar with the majority of the attendants. A friend of mine uses a what she calls a ‘bashful killer’ tactics. ‘You approach the nearby person and start a conversation, no matter what,’ she says. ‘Just speak the first words, the rest will come out. We are only afraid to start.’ Frankly, I’m not so sure about this method and neither I’m certain it will work for everyone.

There were times, when I have strongly associated myself with the party hermits. In other words – guests, who willingly isolate themselves from others. Hence, I have thought of a few ways that work for me, and might work for you to avoid being tongue-tied at parties:


Who is who?

Do your homework: learn who is going to attend the party and pray there is at least one person you know.

Dress for Success.

Choose appropriate, but comfortable outfit. No corsets, no tight shoes, no explicit décolleté (guys, you may :) You should be able to breathe, walk, and forget that you are wearing anything at all.

I came, I SMILED, I conquered.

Tiny, broad, happy, cynic – there are tonnes of different smiles you can wear during the party. I prefer the traditional Mona Liza smile. It is always applicable, even if there is nothing funny in the neighborhood, but you’re gently spreading the fluids of your personal happy being. Practice various smiles in front of the mirror and see how greatly it works out for you.

Tell me who your friends are…

When introduced to somebody, always use the person’s name in a greeting. It creates intimacy and affection, while the person appreciates your acknowledging him/her by name.

Mr. Small Talk

Super blitz guidance: Prepare a list of random topics, interesting facts and a couple of jokes. Stay afloat by listening carefully, asking topical questions and inserting insignificant remarks here and there. Success guaranteed.

  • Hendrik


  • Ajsta

    Informative suggestions!

  • jamesrcoffey

    I think this becomes less of an issue as you age.

  • Starpisces

    very well written, and the points are excellent.
    If I’m at any party and ever feel lonely, I will not stay long there definitely, I prefer to with my own gang.
    I’m quite anti-social actually, rather stay at home then with a group of people I cannot click.

  • Onkar Singh

    Nice Post……

    Thanks for share.

  • AshleyApathy

    good share

  • Jessie Will

    Yes, Jamesrcoffey, you are absolutely right, lots of things become less of an issue when you grow older, I can surely tell by myself.

  • Jessie Will

    Starpisces, I agree, same with me – being very antisocial (as I wrote in my profile, I strongly associate myself with bears :) nonetheless, there are times when you have to show up at some family event or corporate party (with lots of people from other branches you don’t know). But of course I prefer my own gang too, who doesn’t? :)

  • Jessie Will

    Thanks, Onkar Singh!

  • Jessie Will

    Thanks, Hendrik!

  • Jessie Will

    Thanks, Ajsta, I tried to make them as useful as possible :)

  • sapphirelaws

    Great post!

  • margaridab

    I’m only tongue tied when I don’t like the people around me and in this case it’s always better to leave.. :)

  • Ruby Hawk

    Helpful information


    Great advise.

  • Jessie Will

    Thanks, Sapphirelaws!

  • Jessie Will

    Margaridab, I agree, same with me :) I wrote this brief manual in case you still have to be present at some not particularly interesting party and can’t leave after twenty minutes no matter how much you were so inclined :)

  • Jessie Will

    Thanks, Ruby Hawk! It helped me many times indeed, all these advice are taken from real life (which happens to be my own life :)

  • Jessie Will

    Thanks, Brendakshelton!

  • Raj the Tora

    A gentle smile can do wonders. Thanks for such great tips

  • westgi

    very good! beautiful! gigi

  • ubelein1973

    Excellent article!

  • Sharif Ishnin

    I agree that it’s makes your life easier if you actually know someone at the party. Knowing a good friend is there actually makes you look forward to go. Get a friend to introduce with the people you don’t know is a good way to start. :) Else it’s going to be boring again.:)

  • Skout

    The name thing is key in making any new interaction work. People LOVE hearing their name, and you can use that quite to your advantage. Try it the next time you buy groceries – thank the cashier by name, and see their eyes light up! ;)

  • Louise Silver

    Good article Jessie :-)

  • Jessie Will

    Thanks, westgi!

  • Jessie Will

    Yes, Sharif, I think exactly the same :) Thanks for the comment :)

  • Jessie Will

    Skout, you are absolutely right, people love hearing not just their names, but everything about themselves and related to themselves :) And the name technique – I haven’t used it in supermarkets (should, though), but I use it a lot when meeting someone for the first time and it works :)

  • Jessie Will

    Thanks, ubelein1973! I’m glad you liked it :)