Hear no evil, speak no evil – and you’ll never be invited to a party ~ Oscar Wilde
Party means people. Strangers, friends, relatives, people you might not particularly like – but still, there they are, clustering, drinking, socializing. And there you are, hiding in a niche, sinking into a couch, with another cocktail named ‘loneliness’, pretending to be extremely busy removing dust molecules from your suit, idly squinting at the Homo sapiens around you.
There might be several causes of this scenario, one of which could be just having a bad day, in which case this article is not for you. If, however, you recognize the pattern, and your empty glass asks to be refilled with another lonely cocktail, it’s time to take some action.
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO SOCIALIZE AT PARTIES?
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You came there to enjoy. To loosen after a tight, busy schedule, to relax after a busy day, to hear a good joke and maybe share one. Socializing does not mean entertaining everybody, but acknowledging your presence to at least one or two people you sympathize is more than legitimate. Do yourself a favor and turn the several hours into something ‘that does not so closely resemble hell’ (c).
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?
Big parties were not made for everyone, especially if you came alone and are not familiar with the majority of the attendants. A friend of mine uses a what she calls a ‘bashful killer’ tactics. ‘You approach the nearby person and start a conversation, no matter what,’ she says. ‘Just speak the first words, the rest will come out. We are only afraid to start.’ Frankly, I’m not so sure about this method and neither I’m certain it will work for everyone.
There were times, when I have strongly associated myself with the party hermits. In other words – guests, who willingly isolate themselves from others. Hence, I have thought of a few ways that work for me, and might work for you to avoid being tongue-tied at parties:
Who is who?
Do your homework: learn who is going to attend the party and pray there is at least one person you know.
Dress for Success.
Choose appropriate, but comfortable outfit. No corsets, no tight shoes, no explicit décolleté (guys, you may You should be able to breathe, walk, and forget that you are wearing anything at all.
I came, I SMILED, I conquered.
Tiny, broad, happy, cynic – there are tonnes of different smiles you can wear during the party. I prefer the traditional Mona Liza smile. It is always applicable, even if there is nothing funny in the neighborhood, but you’re gently spreading the fluids of your personal happy being. Practice various smiles in front of the mirror and see how greatly it works out for you.
Tell me who your friends are…
When introduced to somebody, always use the person’s name in a greeting. It creates intimacy and affection, while the person appreciates your acknowledging him/her by name.
Mr. Small Talk
Super blitz guidance: Prepare a list of random topics, interesting facts and a couple of jokes. Stay afloat by listening carefully, asking topical questions and inserting insignificant remarks here and there. Success guaranteed.