Aunt Swapping – The Coming Thing
A new fad is sweeping England, and it comes about as the institution of marriage falls in popularity. Because fewer couples are opting to get wed it consequently means that there are fewer opportunities to indulge in wife swapping and this is proved by the membership numbers of the UK’s Confederation of Wife Swapping Societies which have fallen by 52% since 1984.
With this healthy pursuit about to disappear from the social scene it fell to one man to rescue the pastime from oblivion, and his name is Hiram Binge.
“The idea of wife swapping appealed to me,” he said yesterday, “but as I was unmarried, I couldn’t participate. Most clubs refuse to accept unmarried guys as associate members, even for a quick look. So I came up with the idea of aunt swapping to compensate for my lack in the marital department. The idea is that young guys, rather than swapping wives they don’t have, swap aunts which they do have. So, I frequently swap my Aunt Hilda for my friend Stan’s Aunt Betty. What is done during the swap is strictly up to the participants. Hilda likes to give Stan tea and cream cakes and discuss embroidery, but Betty drags me up to the bedroom the minute I step into her house.”
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The scheme has other benefits which Binge is well aware of. “For instance, with western society one is generally only allowed one wife, whereas one can have many aunts. This means that you have a greater variety to offer your swap partner and if he has many aunts you could have a multitude of combinations, all offering the potential for lots of fun.”
Minge accepts that many aunts will not always be immediately desirable to romantically inclined young men. “Some of them will be past the Yummy Mummy stage and perhaps even being MILFs, but there’s a lot of fun to be had in an aunty. Stan really enjoys his cream cakes and is learning a lot about embroidery, especially double stitch.