Bojack’s Crunchy Egg Suprise
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- Dial anti-bacterial soap
- A non stick frying pan
- A mismatched lid that is bigger than the pan
- Anything resistant to heat but strong enough to crush egg sheels (I prefer an empty Prego bottle with matching lid,with the lid secured.
- Something to scrape with, a putty knife, a razor scraper, a gasket scraper, or one of those flat things people use when making sunny side up eggs.
- A medical doctor
- A mental health professional
- A gurney
- An automatic transmission funnel
- A working telephone, cell phone or land line phone at the far end of the house
- 12 oz. cooking oil
- One pint Long Island Iced Tea
- Four large fire extuinghers
- Pot Holders
- Eight to twelve raw large AA eggs
- A Fireman approved Model Farenheight 451 oxygen mask and face shield
- Fire retardant Nascar approved fire suit
- Once suit is on you are now ready to begin.
- Wash hands with the anti bacterial soap, now you are ready to start cooking!!
- Place all the eggs in the pan, shell and all
- Start smashing the shells with the palms of your hands or knuckles,whichever you prefer,next,turn the Prego bottle upside down and keep crushing till fine or to your desired level of crunchiness, careful not to splatter the egg juice everywhere.
- Turn the heat on high and place cover on. Wait ten minutes or until black smoke is billowing out of the pan or the fire alarm is going off, if this happens, just pull the battery out and toss it somewhere.
- Next, put on the protective oxygen mask and pour the oil slowly into the automatic transmission funnel. Next is the most dangerous step. Pour the Long Island iced tea into a cup,hold the lid close, dump in the cup and quickly replace the lid. If you are lucky the combination has not exploded, your chances for survival just increased tenfold. After ten more minutes, remove from heat. Let cool for another 15 minutes, the alcohol has now soaked into the concotion,and the cooking oil will help the egg shells from damaging your esophagous and the inner lining of your stomach as well as your digestive tract.
- Now drain off the excess fluids,scrape the crunchy egg mix into a large bowl.
- Enjoy, crunch away and if the stomach begins ti hurt let the doctor know so he can pump your stomach. The mental health professional can talk you thorugh this process. Be happy the oil didn’t explode, this dish has about a 50% chance of destroying your home and your insides,but it is a favorite dish for terrorists,Somali pirates and works great for hangovers, and a must for people who just enjoy crunchy yet flavorful food. It also doubles as a great cure for constipation, and this enticing dish is perfect for when the in laws visit and a great breakfast for that annoying kid your child invites over to spend the night.
- This dish is common in the Necrophilia Islands, just south of Narnia. Enjoy and happy crunching folks.
God Bless, Chef Bo Jack
P.S., feel free to visit The Bo Jack School Of Cooking, at our regular website, or visit Bo Jack Express International Foods, and search our wide variety of foods and repellents few have ever heard of, you’ll be amazed, and please tell your friends about us.