Byron Katie’s Video “Your Partners Flaws are Your Own Because You’re Projecting Them” Inspired My Story and Response!
My thoughts on Byron Katie, her experience and my own. Please watch the video first I believe there to be massive value to be gained from watching the video alone and my comment turned into an article so I didn’t want to let it go to waste, here…
I grew up interested in self help and realised so much through BK audiobooks and Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now.. Well I can relate with what she’s talking about and the man in the story.
You can love someone and not put up with acceptable behaviour, you can love from a distance although it may be harder if you’ve been physically together for a long time and then change happens. You can also communicate your reasons and differences for doing what you do or have done authentically and hopefully the other will understand and you learn from mistakes.
Well I have pushed all of the worst buttons of my girlfriend when I didnt get my own way because I had just came from a fearful environment and situation that I wanted her to be there for me, I wanted her to have called me. I called her being OFF with her and she put the phone down which I hadn’t had before so she put the phone down and I reacted, so I was drunk I ended up texting her being “the 2 year old (the baby, the ego, the painbody)” and I said I hate you and you’re the same as -ex’s name- which of course was a powerful trigger to hurt her, she gave me ammunition and I used it against her.
BK is spot on, I was basically deep down trying to communicate “please love me”, “give me attention”, “why are you not here for me?” “I want you and I want you to want me now and have shown it”. Part of me knew I was doing this however I couldn’t express it that way to her.
Instead of living in the longterm past I was living in the very recent past and it still bit me in the arse, it just goes to show how you can try or do your best to completely 180 turn a situation around by being present, being authentic and communicating however thinking on this level is a task in itself and putting that in to words can be difficult, especially when people are so good at taking things out of context and getting the wrong end of the stick.
My girlfriend knows me so well and still loves despite this which I’m lucky to have, I’m glad the degree of presence I have was there at points when my girlfriend decided to speak to me after the way I acted. It is all about the self, this is myself and you can only have your own realisations which can trigger positive change.
You can understand other people well with this stuff which I recommend and make your own life choices but you cannot really use this on another person because the whole point is its for yourself, you have the power.
Any questions or advice drop me an email: email@example.com