Chinese Fortune Cookies From a Cat

On a harsh winter’s day, it’s nice to sit back and relax.  Why not have a fortune cookie?  Here are ten fortune cookie sayings from a cat.

1.   Never seek serenity in a box of kitty litter.

2.   Scratching your furniture is not a sign of maturity.

3.   When you have your photo taken, it is wise to watch the birdie.  It is unwise to eat the birdie.

4.   Never treat a mouse with respect.  They’ll just give you the tail.

5.   Sylvester is a great name for a newborn.

6.   Garfield is a great name for a newborn.

7.   Scooby Doo is a horrible name for a newborn. 

8.   A warm lap is a sign of a warm heart.

9.   When you are lonely, take a little time out of your life and have a chat with your cat.

10.  Never shake the hand of a political fat cat.  They’ll always want something in return.

11.  Nine lives are always better than one.

12.  Never lick your wife on the hand as a sign of affection.

13.  Never pet a tiger unless you want to have some stripes tattooed all over your body.

14.  If you give a cat a cookie, he’ll ask for a mouse instead.

15.  Catwoman is supreme.  Batman is a loser!

Image via Wikipedia