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Clever and Surefire Ways to Become an Instant Millionaire
The following are crafty yet “legal” ways to earn millions of cash in a short period of time. Who says that you need to wait for retirement age? Try these suggestions and you just might become the next big millionaire.
Sue Your Way To Riches
If you’re sick of your job and can’t wait for retirement age so you can enjoy your savings (if you do have savings), then you can try an appealing alternative: Sue a company or a powerful individual. Erin Brokovich style. All you need is a keen eye for anomalies, a sense of justice or injustice, and a “whistleblower character”. Make sure you get a good lawyer too, because if you fail to win the case, you might end up in an untidy jail cell somewhere if the company you sued, sued you back. It’s also vital to sway public opinion to your side, so making a placard or two might help.
Woo Mr. Millionaire (for women only)
This is perhaps the most heartless, evil, deceptive, yet LEGAL way to become a millionaire. And it’s one of the “easiest” too. All you do is capture the heart of Mr. Lonely Millionaire, feed his need for intimacy, assure him that love cannot be bought by money, and convince him that your love “don’t cost a thing”. You have to be willing to play a believable facade of romance for many months, or even years.
Inherit Your Millions
This is the easiest way to become a millionaire. I don’t know why very few people figure this out! To be a millionaire, you must inherit massive amounts of riches from your parents or grandparents. If you do not have rich parents or grandparents, then you need to figure this out for yourself. Do some research in a local library and try to find instructional books on how to have rich ancestors. Good luck.
Enter Politics And Win On A Citywide Or National Level
I don’t know about you, but I personally believe that ALL politicians around the world are honest. Their interests are all geared towards the needs of the citizens. They have no desire for self gratification, money and power. All they care about is the welfare of the people and the love for country! Politicians are heroes. We should trust them wholeheartedly. Now let me ask you this: Do you think there’s something wrong with this paragraph?
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18 Comments
Clever. Interesting last paragraph.
Fantastic article – love the humour x
This article is great. Witty and funny, I enjoyed reading it very much. As for the last paregraph-who knows.
Play the lottery in CANADA, -where the winnings are TAX EXEMPT! -If you win a million dollars, that is what you get paid. There are many lotteries in CANADA, some with ‘odds of winning: 1:3′ or “1:6″, etc. Granted, there are only one, two or three ‘Grand Prizes’ of 1-million or more (and often, an ‘Early Bird’ Drawing for a million as well) but there are several levels of multi-thousand-dollar+ secondary prizes, as well as condos, cottages and luxury automobiles (or take a cash alternative.).
In the U.S., lottery winnings are subject to Gift Tax or/or Federal Income Tax at least, and you will lose almost exactly 66% of the sum total.
This brought me a smile.
That would be so mean to marry a man for money. Like the old saying, “Don’t marry for money. But it’s alright to court where the money is” It goes something like that! Great piece1
Nice!
‘evangelists’False prophets
hahahahaha…I take it you’re a politition!!! If so, you could always claim overtime on your expenses!!!
hahahaha…im already feeling rich…..think I ‘d go for the first one, thot you forget I’d need money to persecute that…lol
very nice i like it a lot
Ah, the dishonesty of people. It makes the world a worse place to be.
but, it makes the world richer!!!
Very funny and well written. Humor is not always an easy sell. You’ve got the knack and the eye to see it around you. Well done.
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hmmm… worth trying!
Very fun article and yes, there is something wrong with that last para…:)
I guess I have already given up becoming a millionare. I don’t have any wealthy relatives, and Publisher’s Clearing House doesn’t help!