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Computers: Masculine or Feminine?
Have you ever wondered whether a computer should be classed as masculine or feminine?
One day I was thinking about how in English we do not give words a gender. Take a language like French where some things are given masculine gender (le) and others are given a feminine gender (la). Then it got me thinking, what gender would you give to a computer?
Is a computer masculine or feminine?
Well I didn’t know the answer so I decided to ask my parents.
I went looking for them and found my parents sitting in the living room watching TV. I asked them both at the exact same time whether a computer should be classed as masculine or feminine?
It was my father who spoke first and this is what he said:
“Son, without a shadow of a doubt a computer should be classed as feminine, that is obvious.”
“How so?” I asked.
“Well, it is simple; just like a woman, when you find a computer that you like you will end up spending more than half of your hard-earned wages on trying to keep it as up-to-date and as good looking as before. Also, son, have you ever noticed that when your mum is in the company of her female friends they always talk in a way that is incomprehensible to anyone else? Well have you ever noticed that the language computers use to communicate with other computers is also incomprehensible? Spot the difference? There isn’t one.”
I must confess that thus far my fathers argument was good. I glanced over to my mother sitting in her seat shaking her head in disagreement. My father obviously saw this as well and it gave him the impetus for more reasons.
“I am not finished here,” said my father, looking at me but half talking to mother also, “You know how man will never understand the logic behind a computer? Well in the same way they will never understand the logic behind a woman. Another coincidence? Or maybe proof that computers are definitely feminine. But here is the clincher; computers are exactly like woman for the simple fact that when a very very small mistake is made, it is stored in the memory for ever. Both a woman and a computer will quite happily restore this at a later date if need be.”
“Good points” I said.
“Case closed, computers should be classed as feminine.” My father said with a huge grin on his face.
But then something happened; a cough emanated from the corner of the room where my mother sat. We turned round to face her just as she started talking.
“Oh how wrong you are,” said mother cheekily, “Everyone knows that a computer is masculine, let me explain.”
She continued: “As soon as you find a computer you like, you pretty soon find out that had you just waited slightly longer a much better model would have turned up.”
You should have seen the look my mother threw at my father when those words had come out, it made him look quite sheepish.
“Also, no matter how much data they hold and how many functions they can perform it would appear that it is the simple things that they can not quite achieve. Add to that the fact that the only way to get anything out of them is to turn them on.” mother said with a huge grin on her face.
At this point I had forgotten that she was talking about computers.
“Finally, the one thing about a computer is that it is meant to help solve all of your problems for you but in the vast majority of cases they are the problem. So it is plainly obvious that a computer should be classed as masculine.”
There I stood in the room watching both mother and father just glare at each other after the insultive nature of what they had just said. They had both answered my question.
They are still not talking to each other.
Perhaps it is better that a computer remains gender neutral.
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28 Comments
I thought the article was quite amusing and entertaining=)
Love this one…though sad to hear mom and dad arent talking to the other.Can see both sides and agree,,keep it neutral.A great story..
This was very entertaining. I have to think of my computer as being of the male gender since I have a very hard time reasoning with it some days!
I love this article! That’s a question I’ve never considered before, but it does make you think.
I really enjoyed this dont stop thinking if you come up with things like this made me think to
Very entertaining and kind of funny. Well done.
Ha-ha. I loved it. Each of your parents have opposite answers for the same questions. A great write, and funny.
Wifes and computers are not compatibles.
Very amusing
Computers are definitely feminine – I wouldn’t put my 3 1/2 inch floppy into another man.
Be safe never sorry. Say the one that will make your honey sing your praises. This saves one less thing to argue about.I believe!
I like your mom.
Computers are definitely male. We women think that we need one, since everyone else seems to have one. So we take one home, set it up, and once we get used to it we don’t know how to cope without one. But then they don’t work as well as promised, and we can’t get them to cooperate.
I was thinking of an analogy about hard drives crashing, but I had better just leave that to your imaginations.
the french think the computer is.. le ordinateur , male so that is good enough for me,lol
I don’t know – I love playing with computers…and well I love to play with the feminine species
I want to say male but that may be because I am male.
Great fun, Ali. My computers definitely female, she’s always playing me up!
I think your parents live in harmony.
About computer, I always decide female or male according to its sex. I can’t see any sex in all computers.
Excellent article Alistair , My chuckle for today. I must say I agree with your mom on this one lol. Excellent write and read
lol
Thanks for that laugh
Quite the interesting pair! Thanks for sharing.
Just finally got around to reading this. Very good. I think I might have to go with the feminine. I did this for my husband earlier in the week. “computers are exactly like woman for the simple fact that when a very very small mistake is made, it is stored in the memory for ever. Both a woman and a computer will quite happily restore this at a later date if need be.”
But then again, he did start to hum after I turned him on.
Nice Article.
In Spanish, they decided it’s female: La Computadora.
I wonder what their reasons for this were.
haha… i really don’t know! i had a good laugh! thanks for sharing!
It highlights the general human trait of personification of things that it takes some action on our part to animate. Computers are neither male not female. They simply exist. While they move is in direct response to a human initiated stimulus.
I myself will stay out of the computer debate that your article can cause here in the comment section, Have my own opinions about computers, but I must say,
This was a fantastic laugh, I loved it !!! Gonna show it to my family!