The Care and Feeding of The North American Geek

How to recognize the ‘geek’. They might not be as clearly defined as they were in days of yore, proudly wearing clever T-shirts that say ‘I love pi’ or something else that is math related, yet humorous none the less. In our world what can be defined as a geek comes in all shapes and in any kind of packaging, and are not specific to one gender or the other. Body art and piercing have no bearing on computer knowledge or the ability to hold a conversation completely in Klingon. Geeks are universally intelligent but will have varying levels of social skills.

Geeks will have certain things on their person, however, that will help you identify them. A lap top or smart phone or both will be near by. They will use them without thinking about it, typing with equal speed on a regular sized keyboard or a phone pad. Often they will have graphic novels (those are comic books, but it sounds smarter and somehow more grand when you call them graphic novels) and will know all kind of obscure information about whichever one they are reading at that time. They will also be able to afford the caffeinated beverage of their choice (and it will have caffeine) as a geek will be employed. Coffee, Coke, Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Red Bull-whatever their choice is, they will be drinking it in abundance. A geek is not a sleeper. They will stay up all hours of the night, but we will get to that in a moment.

There are some sub-groups to the North American Geek. Here are a few:

The BBC Curious: Ever heard of a program called Black Adder? I guarantee this geek has, and can quote lines. Whether you are talking about older shows like The Young Ones and Monty Python or newer ones like Dr. Who and Torchwood, this geek has seen them all, some before they even air, and can hook you up with illegal down loads or where to get the best mugs shaped just like a Tardis. Yes, they will have coffee, a good graphic novel, and enough loose change to buy the complete Monty Python set, plus the Tom Baker years of Dr. Who.

Down With The D and D: Not just for Dungeons and Dragons, this group plays role playing games (RPG) of every kind from physical boards and dice to the virtual reality of Ever Quest. They know how to survive a zombie invasion and that a bashing weapon is the only way to take on re-animated skeletons. They can tell you the exact strength of a Frost Giant and what binki mail is. They don’t just carry a twenty sided dice in their pocket, but they might also be able to bust out card games like Munchkins, Lunch Money and Magic. Their social life goes far beyond the time when the bars close. Not that they frequent bars. Basements, maybe, but not bars. A good way to familiarize yourself with this geek is to go to a gaming store. This will hold RPGs of every type, often with comics as well, and will have every type of ‘fig’ or mini for every game imaginable. ‘Figs’ are not a fruit from the Middle East, but are in fact tiny little figurines, often made out of metal that represent the ‘characters’ played by the geek in whatever game they are playing. Like dice, figs are personal items that hold a great deal of significance and often a lot of time as the geek most likely painted their own fig or mini. Don’t mess with the figs.