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Fashion for Men

Published by Christina Martin in Humor
October 16, 2008

Some light-hearted, humorous advice to help men dress to impress.

It’s a sad fact (sad for those of us who have to witness it!) that many men do not have the first clue on fashion.  Too many of them make the same basic mistakes over and over again.  If you want to look like a successful, self-aware, attractive man it is really important that you dress to impress.  Here are a few pointers to help you put together your own look.

There is a reason why ‘the crotch’ of your pants is so-called.  Yes, that’s right!  Because it is supposed to be worn at ‘the crotch’.  Loose-fitting, baggy clothes may be fine for fifteen-year old break dancers but they are really not attractive on mature men.  And when I say ‘mature’ I mean any guy over the age of sixteen.  Got that?

You have heard it before but I’m going to say it again – never, ever, EVER wear socks with sandals.  I really don’t care what color the sandals are, what color the socks are, or if you are afraid of being stung on your large toe!  It is an absolute no-no and one of the most unattractive fashion faux pas.  So, did you get that?  Repeat after me, ‘I will never, ever, EVER wear socks with sandals!’.  Well done!  Now we’re getting somewhere.

Dump the Disney ties.  Novelty ties might be alright for that one day of the year when . . .  you take your children to see Santa Claus in the department store.  No, actually, they are not even alright for that occasion.  With so many beautiful, stylish ties out there I just do not understand why some men choose to dress up like a four-year old.  Novelty ties do not create a good impression in the work place, at a social occasion, or even at home.  Don’t you realise that your wife wants to be with a mature man who gives the impression that he is capable of taking care of difficult situations?  You didn’t?  Well, you do now!  Who do you think your boss will give the promotion to?  The guy in the Goofy tie, or the man in the nice Josh Bach stripe?  Good answer.  Message received.

Remember ‘cornish pastie’shoes?  That’s right.  You ‘remember’ them because they are just a distant memory.  You do not actually wear them, possess them, or desire them.  In fact, any chunky shoes are definitely out where fashion is concerned.  Treat yourself to a nice pair of classic shoes that will complement most outfits.  There is really no point in wearing a nicely fitting, well-cut suit if you are going to spoil it in shoes that are better suited to a construction site.  In the office, at the theater, in a restaurant, we really do not need protective footwear!

So, those are my basic points for male fashion.  Stick to these few pointers and you will be dressing to impress your partner, your boss, and your friends.  See you at the top!

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