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I’ve never liked eating cooked spinach. Of course it is very healthy for you. Nonetheless, I just can’t stand the taste. Here are ten excuses for not eating cooked spinach:

1.   The spinach looks like seaweed. I’m getting sea sick just looking at this food.

2.   Ah, what is this stuff? Are you trying to poison me? Take it away.

3.   If my dog Barfly will eat it, then I’ll eat it. Oh yes, I believe that Barfly is allergic to spinanch.

4.   I’ll eat broccolli, cauliflower, carrots, anything but spinach. Look, the spinach is starting to leave my plate and is ready to attack me.

5.   It reminds me of the stuff that turned Spiderman evil. I don’t want to turn evil.

6.   This is the worst meal that I have ever been given. Oh I see. It’s healthy. I’ll live longer. If I eat this stuff, I won’t have to worry about living longer. I’ll already be dead.

7.   I don’t care if Kobe Bryant eats spinach. I don’t care if Popeye eats spinach. I hate spinach and I’m not going to become a professional basketball player.

8.   I don’t have time to eat my spinach. I’ve got to study for a big test. I know that is summertime and school is two months away. Still, it’s never to early to study.

9.   Whoa, time out. What is this crap? You expect me to eat this weed? Look, I don’t plan to eat it and I don’t plan to smoke it.

10.  I just love cooked spinach. It’s so healthy and full of important vitamins and minerals. I want a whole plate of spinach. Oh darn, I just remembered. My friend’s cat just died. I have to attend the cat’s funeral. I’ll have to miss eating this delicious spinach. Oh well, I’ll just have to settle for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when I get home.