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10 Things Not to Say to the Health Inspector
Your restaurant is under investigation by the health inspector for multiple violations. You need to clean up your act literally or your establishment might be closed down. Here are 10 things that you should not say to the health inspector.
- Would you like to try our chef’s special? We call it soufflé of rat
- Of course we use gloves. Oops, this glove has a rip. We pride ourselves in buying the cheapest gloves in town.
- We like to add some hair to our soup. It gives the vegetable soup an extra kick.
- That’s not food on the floor. That’s just mud and other unknown agents.
- We clean our dishes by hand. We abandoned using a dishwasher two months ago. By the way, that’s not a spot on the glass. That’s just spit.
- Meat is meat. On Tuesdays, we have Chuck day. All our meat is ground Chuck.
- That’s not mold on our bread. That’s just white flour. Would you like to try a slice?
- This cheese is fresh. We just bought it three months ago. We like to let it age naturally. It has only been lying on the counter for the past three hours.
- We are proud that no one has ever complained about our food. It is rather odd though that none of our customers ever come back for another meal. They’re really missing out on a good meal.
- That’s not food on our clean forks. That’s our new pattern. We like our customers to feel right at home. If it looks like it’s caked food, that’s fine with us. Also, did you notice the rings around the coffee mugs? I can assure you that this is totally deliberate. As for our tables, we clean them after every other customer. We don’t want any of our guests to have to wait very long to be served. We also use recycled napkins. If a customer hasn’t used one of our napkins, we just save it and give it to our next guest. It’s so economical, and it is great for our environment.
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Thanks. It’s my birthday next week and I just think I might change my mind and eat at home!