Letters to the Editor:

As the editor of the: ‘Biscuit Organisation of Law, Legislation, Occupation, Checks, and Known Sideeffects’ news letter, I get hundreds of letters everyday.  This is my attempt to answer some of the more frequent question:

“Dear Sir,

I have been a biscuit lover for many years now, however I recently cut myself on an Oreo cookie.  Are there any tips that you have for me in regard biscuit safety?  Also, are there any safer biscuits that you can recommend? 

Yours faithfully Ms Elian, J, Stanton “

Well Elian, in regard laceration and biscuit safety, I must refer to the published guidelines, which suggest expert advise and care whilst using sharp objects.  However, I note that an Oreo is not in fact in generally sharp, owing to their circular design.  Do you sharpen your cookies at all?   

 I like to think that there is a biscuit for everyone.  However, it is possible that the cut and thrust of the biscuit world is too much for you.  Perhaps you should move towards a ‘single baked’ product, which is less abrasive.  A sponge perhaps?   Alternatively you could wear gardening gloves whilst handling biscuits. 

 The Biscuit Organisation of Law, Legislation, Occupation, Checks, and Known Sideeffects: Looking after the interests of biscuit lovers everywhere since 1945