Biscuit Organisation of Law, Legislation, Occupation, Checks, and Known Sideeffects

Biscuit safety news!!!

Despite outward appearance custard creams are not in fact packed with custard-like filing, but with malign intent, and pent up disaster!!  Yes that’s right, scientists have proven, without even the shadow cast by a ‘nice biscuit of a double, that some bics are safer than others.  As we all suspected, custard creams top the biscuit hazard chart. 

The scientists provide us with the basic facts, in their cold hard clinical fashion.  But the questions we all must be asking are: Why? What can we Do? And are these scientific types to be trusted?

Firstly then, why might custard creams top the charts?  Well, firstly they are a very dippable biscuits, measuring 4.7 on the ABDS!! (advanced biscuit disability scale).  Although this may at first seem like an advantage, should stable dipping quality may well lend itself to a form of dipping arrogance, or dipping complacency.  Yes of course, we all expect rich tea collapse, of course we prepare for it.  But which once of us honestly expects custard cream dipping malfunction?

Secondly custard creams are created with a construction that forms in us a desire to destroy.  In an abstract sense this may course more custard cream related accidents than are even recorded!!  However, in a more practical sense  the desire to separate the biscuit layers may well cause a whole host of hazards.  Stories range from eye injuries, caused by ‘layer ricochet’, or knife injuries caused by surgical separate errors.

But then, knowing the dangers what can we do?  The: ‘Biscuit Organisation of Law, Legislation, Occupation, Checks, and Known Sideeffects’ is planning to publish further information about biscuit safety.  However, it is also investigating the validity of the danger claims

So, for now biscuit lovers, we must await guidance, and I must simple urge you all to take care, and be safe.  Remember, biscuits can be our friends, but we must treat them with respect.

Keep safe, and keep dipping!!   

The Biscuit Organisation of Law, Legislation, Occupation, Checks, and Known Sideeffects: Looking after the interests of biscuit lovers everywhere since 1945