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Funny But True ER Stories

Published by Judy T Lloyd in Humor
May 14th, 2009

The ER is not always dramatic, but there are funny incidents that happen in the ER.

An elderly man came into the ER complaining of chest pains, he was being asked rather loudly by a green nurse several questions. When it came to the question of sex, he told her to let his wife in. When she came in, this dear soul said to his wife. “Honey do we have sex?” The wife answered in an equally loud voice.  “No, Blue Cross Blue Shield

Another woman came into the ER having labor pains, so they called her OB. He was surprised to see her as this was her eighth baby. “Did I not put you on birth control?” She answered him. “Yes but when the condoms ran out, Herman used baggies.”

Another lady in obvious pain came in and said she had severe pains in her side. The nurse noted that she had dyed her hair purple and the public hair was dyed green. She posted a note on it, KEEP OFF THE GRASS.  As it turned out the surgeon had to remove her appendix, when she woke up she saw his sign. Sorry had to mow the grass.

One woman had gone to a party at a beach front property. She did not know that the owners of the cottage had epoxied the toilet seat. So she went to relieve herself and got stuck. After an embarrassing ride to our ER, she asked the doctor  rather innocently. “Doctor  have you ever seen anything like this?” He replied, “Yes but this is the first time I have seen one framed.”

A rather sweet elderly lady came in for a mammogram, the doctor was talking to her and asked this question. “Deep Breaths?” She said to the doctor, “Why I used to but after nursing all the babies, I look like a three tit cow.”

This is not meant to insult anyone because it really happened. An elderly man had married a younger woman. Everytime she came into the hospital to deliver a baby the man would tell the doctor that he had a good motor running. On her third trip the doctor came out and told him the baby was a boy. So he told the doctor that he still had a good motor running. “Well you better change the oil because this one is black.”

One guy came into the ER wearing an Pallmall Button that read. “I’m Particular.” During the sixties that was a cigarette advertisement.

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  1. Posted May 14, 2009 at 10:25 am

    These were indeed funny. I’m sure the hospital has many more funny stories like these. LOL

  2. kate smedley
    Posted May 14, 2009 at 1:35 pm

    Oh, these were funny! Very funny .. you couldn’t make it up as they say!

  3. Posted May 14, 2009 at 5:57 pm


  4. Posted May 14, 2009 at 6:03 pm

    Thank you for the laugh. I needed one!

  5. Posted May 14, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    Haha these were funny!
    Great write!(:

  6. Robin Smith
    Posted March 15, 2010 at 3:13 am

    I don’t think I will ever be able to mow the yard without laughing now!

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