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Funny Jokes Part Two

Published by Roril Barr in Humor
August 23rd, 2010

I am here once again to give you the best medicine.

Here we go!

Joke 1. Michael Jordan, the Pope, Bill Gates, a pizza delivery boy and the pilot were in an airplane. Suddenly, the pilot told everyone that the plane would crash in a few minutes. But the worse news is that they only have four parachutes. The pilot said “Since I am the pilot here, I will take one parachute.” Then he jumped off. Next, Michael Jordan said “I am the greatest athlete alive and the world needs great athletes so I will take one parachute.” Then he jumped off. Next, Bill Gates said “I am the smartest man alive and the world needs smart men so I will take one parachute.” Then he jumped off. When the Pope realized there’s only one parachute left, he said to the pizza delivery boy “Since I lived my life happily, you take the last parachute.” But the pizza delivery boy replied “We can both survive. We still have two parachutes.” The Pope replied “But there’s only four parachutes. And they took the three.” The pizza delivery boy answered “No. They only took two. The smartest man just jumped off wearing my bag!”

Joke 2. There were these three guys. They had been walking for 3 days and were very tired. They found a hotel, rented a room and went to sleep. Then, this old guy comes in out of nowhere, and says there is a magic pool just outside their hotel room. He tells them “Ok, you must jump off the diving board, and yell out what you wanna land in.” So the three guys go over to the pool. The first guy, a vegetarian, yells out “Bananas!” and lands in a pool of bananas. The second guy was money hungry and yelled out “Money!” and lands in a pile of money. The third guy jumps, when a bird shits on his head, and he yells “Oh Shit!”

Joke 3. A man enters a fortune teller’s tent. When he entered the tent, the fortune teller said “I see you are a father of two.” But the man replied “Ha! That’s what you think! I am a father of three.” The fortune teller answered “That’s what you think!”

Joke 4. The patient says, “Give me the bad news first!” Doctor replies, “You’ve got AIDS.” “Oh, no! What could be worse than that?” asks the patient. “You’ve also got Alzheimer’s Disease.” Looking relieved the patient says, “Oh…Well, that’s not so bad. At least I don’t have AIDS.”

Joke 5. A boy asks his father if he can buy him a brand new car. The father replied “Okay. I will buy you a car if you will promise me that you will cut your long grown hair and study the bible diligently.” After some time, the boy told his father “Dad, I’ve studied the bible diligently. Now, can you buy me car?” The father replied “But you did not cut your hair” The boy answered “I realized that the persons in the bible have long hair. Abraham have long hair, Moses have long hair, and even Jesus have long hair.” “Yes, I know that. And all of them walk when they travel.”

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1 Comment
  1. Posted August 23, 2010 at 10:22 pm

    Nice laugh. Thanks

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