Wear a flashy shirt, one of those which could hurt you own eye when you look at the mirror.

If you were asked for your Curriculum vitae, give them the one with colored papers, each page in a different color.

Always look away from the interviewer and give a knuckle-crushing handshake, this way you’ll not see the interviewer crying like a child.

On a technical question, always start from the history of your achievement with that technology.

Write this in your Curriculum vitae “Lurnt word perfect computor and spreadsheet progroms.” catches the eyes of the employer.

The employer will ask you this question “Any questions?”. Ask this question “Could we talk about the compensation now?”

If they ask you “why do you want to move from your present job?”  Tell them “the present job requires ass-licking and my boss is a sexual deviant”

If the interviewer asks you “What do you know about our company?” Tell them “It pays well to keep this job”.

Arriving for an interview 5- 10 minutes late won’t do, make it an hour. If they still entertain you, that means they are desperate to get you.

Always mix and mash words together while talking to the interviewer. The interviewer should know that you have a serious stuttering problem under pressure.

Write a long Curriculum vitae, I meant the ones which runs to more than 5 pages long.