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How to Make a Time Machine and Teleportation Technology From Household Electronic Equipment, Part One

Published by Todd Daigneault in Humor
June 1st, 2010

A guide to using common household electronic technology to build that coveted time machine and teleportation device.

This stuff is not currently classified Top Secret, and doesn’t take the faculty of Harvard to assemble.  The technology for this is crude and the results are going to be not much different than the first crystal radios—but it works and is verifiable.  How I discovered it was from years of recording spirit voices on a pretty mundane tape recorder.  EVP, or (Electronic Voice Phenomena) is the recording of spirit voices through a tape recorder, digital recorder, or computer (the latter two being the most promising in voice quality and pick-up).  When I discovered this, it was the late 1980s–that’s how far back it goes.  I actually discovered a form of time travel and a limited form of teleportation.

Let us rewind the story back a bit further than that, to get an understanding of how EVP started to open the door to the possibility of time travel and a form of limited teleportation.  I started to record spirit voices onto a crude, analog tape recorder and tape way back in 1978.  Then I was just a science-orientated teen—with an above-average IQ and very much an analytical mind.  But my early research into recording against silence and playing back eerie and mechanical-sounding spirit voices led me to a series of earth-shattering conclusions that were decades ahead of their time.

The first conclusion was that the phenomena is real—recording spirit voices.  Somehow the frequencies of the tape recorder and the human mind working together caused localized distortions in the space-time continuum, at the subatomic level, allowing entities to be able to process their “voices” from one dimensional reality to the next.  In other words, like a subatomic wormhole.  The human mind would then act as a relay transmitter/booster, using dormant and non-dormant areas of the human brain to relay these inaudible signals as voices that the tape recorder could pick up and play back.  The only problem was that the spirit voices lost quality and were eerily-distorted between dimensions.

I slowly evolved this idea through the 1980s, and it was this understanding that helped me realize that there was far more to this phenomena than spirit voices being picked up on tape.  For starters, I realized that I did not have to call out to the spirits.  I could think of them and they came onto tape.  By 1988, with most of this and other relevant theories evolved enough, I tried to broadcast my own thoughts onto tape.  Startled, my own “voice” appeared on playback—although it was a thought.  My realizations that thought was a frequency and the tape recorder, in conjunction with the human mind, was picking up these thoughts of mine.

Disembodied spirits didn’t have to have living vocal cords or equipment to process their voices through.  It was the frequency of their thoughts, processed through the human brain, like my thoughts being impressed onto tape.  But even my thoughts suffered the same effects of the space-time distortions generated by the machine, and were still distorted, even though I’m living.  The next experiments were in recording people talking at a distance—I succeeded.  My mind acted like a supercomputer and signal collector, processing through people I wanted to “hear” at will and distance, like the spirit voices.  The mind-machine symbiotic-link was  beyond a shadow of a doubt.

My early experiments with recording the spirit voices proved the link and so much more…for if I could record specific people talking at a distance, I could record anybody at a distance.  This made me look deeper at some of my early spirit tapes and I found out that a number of them were people talking at a distance.  This does not disparage the spirit-voices on tape idea, but enhances the concept of a form of limited teleportation, albeit just signals. 

The next experiments were earth-shattering indeed.  I found out that the tape recorder symbiotic mind-link causing subatomic space-time distortions generated a form of time travel that could, like the recording of specific spirit and living voices at any distance, be verified.  My next experiments would be the greatest in the long series of experiments yet.

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2 Comments
  1. Tayana
    Posted January 29, 2011 at 12:41 pm

    Hi! I would like to know how to build a teleportation device?How much would the materials cost? Thank-u for your time and consideration.

  2. The Boss
    Posted May 16, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    You’re an idiot.

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