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How to Speak Gangsta

Published by jioges in Humor
June 8th, 2010

There is no reason why the average Joe shouldn’t use gangsta language, so learn to speak gangsta NOW!

Before you get started learning to be a Gangsta, this author has moved to his own website and has advanced in his writing career quite significantly since this post was published. Check him out an read some more hilarious posts at BrainofJT.com

Do you find yourself being made fun of because your gangster speak is not up to par? Are you so exceedingly out of the loop that people think you are twenty years older? Do you look like the non-gangsta fellow below?

All the cool people these days are using slang/gangsta language to show their supreme coolness. Following this guide will put you up in the ranks of cool people and make you the envy of all those civilized, normal speaking individuals. 

Before you can become a gangsta however, you need to go acquire all the Gangsta gear: If you don’t have one of these Gangsta suits, you life probably stinks (Get one for halloween if anything).

Men’s White Pinstriped Gangsta Costume

Now back to the guide.

First of all, to make yourself cool, you must study. I recommend hanging around the local high schools in your area to find out what the popular trends are as far as language goes. Then, practice putting this to use.

The best way to practice your gangsta language is to use these words in an everyday setting. For instance, if your grandmother offers you a cookie, you might say something like “Dat be beast G-ma.” Using the opposite grammar as you learned in English class is a great way to improve your gangsta speaking skills.

For instance, instead of saying “I am cool,” you should say “I is be cool.” If you wish to go further with the misuse of English, combine words into brand new contraction not specified in your textbooks. For instance, say “Ima be cool.”

Shortening your words and ignoring consonant will both save you time and make you seem cool. For instance, say Ima be coo’. You can morph all sorts of words like this to improve your gangsta talk.

Another method of creating a better social status through gangsta talk is by creating new words or changing the meaning of a previous one. All the other cool people are constantly looking for new words to add to their arsenals. For instance; “beast,” “yo,” “dawg,” “hizzouse,” “crib,” or “forizzle” can cause your gangsta language skills to improve vastly. Hint: Adding “izzle” to any word sounds very gangsta.

Now, let’s apply your new gangster speaking skills to real life situations.

1. If your sister calls you with her cell phone and asks you to answer a question, what do you say? (Choose appropriate answer)

A. “Why yes young lady, I will answer a question”

B. “Ummm…..”

C. “Pickles”

D. “Forizzle, I be down wit dat up in hea’. Shoot me dis quizzle”

2. If your teacher tells you to sit down in your seat before the bell rings, what do you say?

A. “Yes”

B. “1987!!!”

C. “Las potatas son ricas?”

D. “Yea’ teach, my bottom finna be squatin’ down in dis pad”

3. If your strict, overbearing seargeant yells at you to get your act together while you are in training for the military, what should you say?

A. “Yes Sir!”

B. “Abraham Lincoln .”

C. “Where’s the fruitcake?”

D. “Coo’ down up in hea’. No need ah be trippin in dis crib.”

If you answered A to either of these questions, you are much too proper, and should have payed attention to the rest of the article.

If you answered B to either of these questions, your IQ is far below average.

If you answered C to either of these questions, well…..

D is the correct answer. Keep working at perfecting these skills, and you will rise the ranks as da’ coo’est doo’ up in hea’.

P.S., Feel free to comment and practice your gangster speak.

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4 Comments
  1. Posted June 8, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    Its so funny I lol I love it!!

  2. Ronquez King
    Posted March 1, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    I be a gangsta and we dont be talkin like dis.. yo article is dope! dont be addin izzle to nutin get real man. love peace and chicken grease

  3. Posted December 5, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    LOL! I need to brush up on my skills. My kids love this Speakin’ Gangsta app, good way to learn I guess: http://www.speakinapps.com/Speakin/Speakin-Gangsta.aspx

  4. Posted March 19, 2013 at 11:30 am

    i’ m dying for it

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