Follow us on Twitter

How to Survive a Zombie Invasion

Published by DanielAsia in Humor
June 28th, 2009

Scared of the Living Dead? READ This to find out how to keep your brains!

Part 1 What is a Zombie?

A zombie is a person that has been infected by the virus Solanum which is 100 percent fatal.

Solanum causes the person to transform into a zombie.

The process usually takes several hours.

In that period the person usually will become pale get a high fever become unconscious and have heart stoppage.

The person will appear to be dead but will reanimate later. To prevent the person from becoming a zombie please destroy their brains. 

Part 2 Identifying a Zombie

Zombies are easily Identified, all zombies walk with a shuffle, have pale skin, often have blood on them, and moan.

If you think you see a zombie and its running its not a zombie.

Part 3 Attributes of a Zombie

Zombies can not climb or swim or run. They lack the physical control to do those activities. Zombies also have no brain activity. There are brain dead. They only react if they see prey (you). Zombies do not need air to breath or things to eat. They require nothing. Zombies also feel no fear nor thing no thoughts.

Part 4 How to Kill a Zombie

The living dead are really hard to kill it requires skills. The only way to kill a zombie is to decapitate it or destroy its brain.

Part 5 Weapons to Use

Close Combat

Axe: An alright Zombie Weapon, if you swing it directly to the Zombie it will kill it immediately. However if you miss you are screwed.

Chainsaw: Not a good choice.

Samurai Sword: Great choice however hard to come by.

Scythe: Great weapon it allows you to effectively decapitate a zombie at a comfortable range!

Hammer: Use as a last resort.

Longsword: Alright but hard to find and requires skills.

Fencing sword: Never ever use this. It lacks the power to decapitate a zombie.

Trench Knife: Good choice! You can both stab and zombie and punch its face with out getting bitten. Word of advice wear steel gloves when using.

Whip: Only use if your Indiana Jones. Otherwise never use this.


Shotgun: Good weapon for average person, low maintenance, and low skill to use but owns zombies at close range!

Rifle: Good but only if you are an accurate shooter.

Machinegun: Never use this ever because it has bad aim and zombies are invulnerable unless shot in the brain.

Submachinegun: Good for close quarters because it has alright aim and rapid fire.

Assault Rifle: Depends on the type of assault rifle you chose. Always chose a gun of the AK series. Why? Because of stopping power and easy maintenance.

Sniper Rifle: Great for picking zombies without them ever seeing you.

Pistol: Good as secondary weapon or as last resort.

Revolver: Better as last resort because of heavier punch.

Other Weapons:

C4 Bombs: Great for traps or for use as a suicide bomber if you bitten.

Flamethrower: Only use if your not running away but attacking zombies and never use in proximity to flammable material.

Grenade: great for suicide if you bitten.

Bow and Arrow: Only use if you are a good bowman.

Rocket Launcher: Good for fighting Hordes.

Part 6 Shelter and Places to head to.

House: Not good because zombies can easily break in.

Apartment: Remove stairs and your good to go use roof as farm.

Mall: Not good its hard to guard and has many entrances.

Wallmart: Good place to hold out at makes sure to build a strong barricade and bring entertainment. Like apartment use roof as a farm.

Boat: Make sure you have good supplies and a port to go to if there is a problem.

Wilderness: Good place make sure though its far away from the zombies.

Mountain: Make sure you have enough supplies. Bring appropriate gear.

Office Building: This can serve as a Tower of Freedom or a Prison Tower.

Island: Make sure that there are no zombies on it and if there are people that they are friendly.

Remember always pick the best places you can to stay otherwise you may not survive.

Try your best to survive the Zombie Apocalypse.

Liked it
  1. Posted June 28, 2009 at 7:28 am

    I think you have been watching Michael Jacksons “Thriller.” to much. LOL Have YOU ever seen a Zombie? If they are brain dead, why doe’s their head have to be cut off from their body to separate their brain from their body? Creative piece .

  2. Scott
    Posted May 30, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    While i can appreciate the creativity it takes to write something like this your information is very general. what if zombies can run? what if shooting them in the chest is as effective as shooting in the head. And i see you have to only choose a ak-47 type assault rifle. im curious if you have ever fired any type of assault rifle because a Ar-15 has plenty of stopping power as well and is just as easy to break down.

Leave a Reply
comments powered by Disqus

Search PurpleSlinky