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1

A man gets up as a young lady boards the bus and stand before him.

Smiling, she pushes him gently back into his seat.

At the next block, the action is repeated.

After the fifth time, the man says:

‘Lady, you better get out my way. I am five blocks past my street already.’

2

A man was walking along when he saw a cluster of people around an evangelist.  The evangelist war fuming about the evils of drink, pointing out that the city was filled with lushes, that men could not go a day without getting drunk, that some spent their last pennies on liquor.