“I Have a Porn Problem”

Published by in Humor
24th Oct 2011

Dear Brian,

I am a 65-year-old man living in the great state of Montana and I am starting to worry that I am becoming addicted to computer porn. I look at it basically all day, aside from when I am cooking and tending to my vegetable patch of course. All those beauties just a click away, I can’t resist. To make matters worse, my internet connection is very slow, so much of my day is spent just waiting for my sexy videos to buffer. We don’t get DSL out here so I am considering relocating out of the great state of Montana. My cousin in Indiana tells me he has high-speed internet out there, so maybe that would be a good spot for me. I have contacted my congressman about getting DSL in our county (I told him it was for academic research but I don’t think he believed me as I was looking pretty sex-crazed at the time). I am not sure if I should move to Indiana or try watching porn videos that are not so high-res. Please help me.

Cordially,

Bob from Butte

***

Dear Bob from Butte,

First, you should not feel bad or ashamed about your situation. We are all addicted to computer porn to some degree. Believe it or not, I actually flunked out of college because I was trying to run my own amateur porn site. It was called Roger’s Room, I forget why, and it had probably the best selection of amateur porn vids on the web. Unfortunately, I went with a really cheap web host so my site was down like half of the time, and also I faced a lot of backlash over this toilet cam I had planned to set up. As far as your situation goes, I think moving to Indiana sounds like it could be fun, especially if you have family there. Or you could try going old-school and maybe subscribing to Penthouse or Swank or something. There is definitely something about the feel of the printed page, which is why I refuse to buy a Kindle. Best of luck to you!

Read more in Humor« My Time with DonnaThings to Remember as a Teen »

Sincerely,

Brian

  • CHIPMUNK

    some people are just so weird in thought

  • Mel

    The old guy has gone nuts…

  • JaiPals

    good jaipals.com

  • jeyraul

    I wonder if it really is a letter from a real person. car transport.

  • Bob Hamilton

    Sorry to point him out, but Luke Cieklinski didn’t impress me much at all.

  • zehra

    porn,sex,adult

  • sevda

    porno,seks,adult